Luke Everhart
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Chapter 111 - Tell Me About Yourself
🕑 Added 2024-12-06 11:30:01 +0000 UTCThe sound of their desperate breathing filled the corridor they found themselves in.
At about 10 by 10-feet in dimension, the corridor was as non-descript as many other hundreds they had walked through before.
“We’re taking a break, Rel,” Kur panted, as Nar grabbed her off his back. “Only for a couple hours.”
“You shouldn’t be doing this,” Rel whispered. “You don’t know what you’re going to run into.”
“We’ll be fine,” Kur said, fighting to speak normally. “We’ll be fine.”
Together they lowered her to the floor, propping her gently against the wall, and dropped beside her.
Nar breathed with his mouth hanging open, sweat pouring in great rivulets down his face. His heart beat with a tired madness, lacking the usual stamina empowered strength he had grown used to.
His eyelids were heavy. If not for the sting of his sweat, he might’ve closed his eyes already.
“Are you alright?” Kur asked him.
Nar nodded, not wanting to give Rel any reasons for concern.
“Maybe try to sleep tonight, instead of doing the [Meditation]. It might be better for you. And you’ll get your gains too,” the party leader said.
Nar nodded once more.
“Are you alright?”
He looked up.
Viy was squatting by Tuk, with a hand over his shoulder. For a moment, he almost couldn’t believe that this Viy and the previous Viy were one and the same. She stared at him with a pained, concerned expression, and seemingly in full control over her perfectly healthy mental faculties.
“That’s no good,” Rel whispered.
“What is?” Kur asked.
“She. It hasn’t gone away. It’s not fixed,” Rel said. “She’ll have to deal with it one day.”
“Deal with what?”
When Rel didn’t reply, Nar looked to his side. Her eyes were closed, and her chest rose and fell rhythmically, accompanied by a painful, wet, wheeze.
“You need to sleep too,” Kur said. “Come on.”
The party leader got up to go check on the others, and Nar sunk further down against the wall.
His hands shook slightly.
Within, he still felt like something was missing, though it wasn’t as bad anymore now.
He had considered Cen’s words while they ran, all throughout the day.
The more he repeated the words in his mind, the more they made sense. They more they startled him with its simple implication.
The low stamina use. The absolute destroyed way in which he had found himself after he had emptied his aura bar… It all pointed to one conclusion.
His [Aura], or aura, was changing him.
Just like his [NPC] affected him, just like his senses had grown sharper and his movements and his strength, his [Aura] was starting to do the same. It wasn’t just something he tapped into for extra damage and to survive the Pressure anymore. It was becoming something else altogether. Turning him into something else altogether.
By the time I get out of here, it might be too late to change, Nar thought.
He could feel it. Something was happening. After their talk, he had paid attention to himself. Listened. Looked. Felt.
His internal aura looked just as it had. From the day he had found it, buried deep within him, it had never changed. But he felt something all the same.
There was something there, perhaps staring right at his face. He was missing it, but not completely.
He had managed to find his path. He could tank in his own, special way, and his aura had, in a way, come to empower his lacking DPS.
Kur had told Rel they would change their class, but was such a thing even allowed for the rest of them?
Rel’s class change was impossible to undo. While that seemed to be linked with the things she had done, during her time with the cannibals, what if there was something similar for him, and the others? Where if they went too far into aura, that there would be no way to swap over to aether instead?
He sighed and leaned back, until his head came to rest against the wall. He closed his weary eyes, feeling the weight over him.
Aura and aether.
It had plagued and chased him since the very beginning. And now, within days of the exit, within days of the end of the Climb and his new life outside, the question was still there. Unanswered. Unresolved.
And yet… He had said he would keep an open mind, and he fully intended to do so. He was no scared of the changes his aura was having across his body and who knew where else. If nothing else, there was power in his aura, and now, all he could do was trust that it would get him out, and that soon enough, he would have all the answers.
For a few minutes, he listened to Rel’s difficult breathing.
His mind ran from one thought to another, and circled back again to something completely different. Though it was always about aura and aether. His dad. His path. His future. His choices. His faith and beliefs…
And yet, all those raging thoughts felt distant. Almost as though an invisible boundary stood between them and himself. Like he was a spectator, sitting down to watch the thoughts and troubles of another.
It would be so easy. To let go and to embrace his aura. More than just keeping an open mind, he was fully teetering towards just accepting it.
It made him powerful. It gave him the strength he so craved. That he so desperately needed.
All he had to do was manage it properly, like he had with his stamina. He had so much of it, after all, all he had to do was keep an eye on it. Easy, no? Crystal. He even had the means to refill that damn gray bar at his own fingertips! He just needed to use his [Meditation] skill again and again, and he would never run out!
So, yes. In the end, why not?
Everything made sense. Everything pointed towards that final conclusion at long, long last.
The wrong way he had been taught to use his aura. The wrong things the priest had believed in. The vague drawings of the chapel icons. The undeniable strength of his aura, an aura that had kept him alive, again and again, and which had even won out against aether itself.
So, yes, why in the pile should he not embrace it?
Only one thread held him back from making that choice.
The others might not really understand his obsession about saving his dad. It was more than love that held him back. It was more than hope that made him clutch so tightly to his purpose.
It was duty. It was debt. It was something he could never repay. Nothing he could ever return.
I need to get my dad out. I promised. And I will do it. And I don’t care what I have to do, or sacrifice to get him out.
He sighed and buried his face in his hands.
But that one, single thread still holding him back from fully accepting his aura? It was fraying… And more and more it was getting poised to snap at any moment.
“Are you okay?”
He flinched and looked at Rel. “I… Yes. I thought you were asleep?”
“Nightmare,” she said, grimacing. “I’m in control, but it doesn’t mean that the Yearning is gone. It's still pushing me to go as fast as I can. How stupid. It won’t even let me rest.”
Nar grimaced too. “Anything I can do to help you? Want me to… You know, hold onto you or something?”
She coughed and wheezed, her body seemingly lost to a seizure that wracked her from head to toe.
“Oh, Crystal. Please don’t make me laugh,” she wheezed. “That hurts so much!”
“I-I was just trying to help!”
“I know. I know. But your face, though… Crystal. I can’t!”
She shook again, holding her sides with her fists.
“Ah,” she said, relaxing. “Don’t do that again…”
Nar shook his head.
“Talk to me,” she said.
“What?”
“You can talk to me. About you. Tell me about you.”
“Is the Yearning still…”
She shook her head from side to side, slowly. Weakly.
“Yes. No? I can’t tell anymore. Does it matter?”
“No, of course not. What do you want to know?”
“Everything. Everything and everything,” she said. “Why do you want to save your dad? Didn’t he choose not to Climb? And what is an Unclean? Why are you so good with aura? And why… Why do you resent the Crystal so much.”
Nar stared at her for a moment, too shocked to speak. He couldn’t believe that she had actually said it.
“It’s okay. I don’t think It minds,” she said. “It gave me a chance after all. Me! Can you believe it? After all I’d done?”
She coughed weakly into her hand, closing her eyes.
Nar could feel the weight of everyone’s attention on him. His breath lay forgotten, as he dreaded his next move. His next words.
But above that, he wondered about the truth in her words. Did he resent the Crystal? Did he hate It?
And what if I do? He thought grimly. Resolutely.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn't have asked…” Rel said.
Is there anything to be ashamed of? Nar asked himself, looking back through the memories.
He remembered to breathe again. He took a purposefully slow breath, organizing his thoughts. Making his decision.
“It’s fine,” he said. “It’s fair. I asked and asked about you and your life. It’s only fair I tell you about mine in return.”
He looked up at the yellow-colored ceiling above his head. The walls, ceilings and floors were always featureless. Smooth. He wondered what color they actually were, if the light shining upon them was not yellow. Perhaps they had no color at all. Perhaps everything down here was just colorless. What would be the point of color in that darkness anyways, right?
“I don’t know how I feel about the Crystal,” Nar said. “We didn’t really pray to It. We didn’t think It cared about us. Some of us thought It actually hated us.”
He sighed and glanced at Rel. “It might be a long story.”
She nodded. “We got time, I think.”
“Nar…” Gad said.
“It's fine, Gad,” he said, smiling at the tank. “Secrets can be used against us, right? Here, and out there too?”
The tank nodded gravely, and when nobody else said anything, Nar looked down at his hands. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel the smooth surface of that receiver. It was always burning hot.
“I was five… I remember I was out playing with the other kids, before my family returned from work…”
Comments
Lucas Onderwater
Fixes have been made to this chapter and the preceeding ones. Mostly around Nar and his thoughts on aura (and everyone else's too) as we're nearing the end! If you come across something that doesn't make sense, or seems to be like Nar is taking a step back on his resolve and resolutions, then please, let me know and I will get that fixed! Cheers! And I hope that you are all still enjoying the story as we near the end of Book 1!
