Luke Everhart
patreon
Chapter 61 - Aura Caster
🕑 Added 2024-11-13 01:19:00 +0000 UTCThe caster sat back down, hard, and wiped her mouth, breathing hard. She looked around her, unsteadily, her eyes glazed over, looking without seeing.
Nar realized that the explosion must have momentarily blinded her.
“Mul? Mul!” she shouted.
In a panic, she patted the floor around her, until she found her brother. He was laying on at her side.
“Mul! Mul!” she cried, once she got hold of him.
“Yes! Yes! I’m fine! Stop shaking me!” the brawler grunted.
“Tuk?” she asked, in a strangled voice.
“Still here. That knocked the pile from under me, though,” the trugger said, staring at the ceiling from the floor. “What happened?”
Nar blinked again, trying to adjust his eyes back to the weak light of the yellow arrows.
Next to him, Jul moaned, clearly still alive, but down for the moment. A quick glance told him that she was probably fine.
A few steps away from her, Gad was sitting up, rubbing her eyes. Besides her, knocked on their sides, were both Viy and Kur. The three of them seemed to have made it through without too much damage.
“Looks like we’re all ok,” Gad said.
Nar matched her voice to that first question. It had been Gad, not Kur who had spoken first. With her tank [Constitution], and seating somewhat further from Cen, she had taken the [Aura] blast better than Nar and the others had.
She reached out to Kur and pulled him into a seating position. Then, she did the same for Viy, slower, and more gently.
“Crystal!” Kur said, pressing his head. “What happened? Did Nar say it was you, Cen?”
“Yes! That was me!” Cen said. “I’m so sorry!”
She looked around her, searching for the direction of Kur’s voice.
“What happened?” Tuk asked. “I know it went brighter, but…”
She looked blindly in the direction of Tuk’s voice.
“It was me. I-I tried something, with my [Aura]! I think I lost control of it!”
Kur took a deep breath.
“Hold on, hold on. Let’s just all calm down first. Okay? I lost HP, is anyone in danger?”
“I dropped like a third, but I’m feeling fine. Ish,” Tuk said.
“I think I need to puke,” Mul mumbled.
“I’m so sorry!” Cen said, sounding on the verge of tears. “I didn’t expect this to happen! I was just trying to make it feel less bad!”
Like always, when she discussed her [Aura] training, and attempts of making it feel less wrong, Nar felt a sinking in his gut. She had yet to explain why she felt so certain about what she was attempting, but Nar felt uneasy every time she practiced, or talked about it. He didn’t want to have to deal with the reckoning that would come with it, should she prove to be correct…
“I’m so sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t…”
“Cen. Cen! Stop!” Kur shouted, silencing her. “Listen, I’m not mad, okay? Let’s just talk about it.”
“Speak for yourself!” Mul grunted.
He groaned and managed to leverage his right arm to flip himself onto his side. The explosion had knocked him flat on his stomach.
“I’m punching you, Cen. As soon as I can get up. I’m beating the shit out of you. I lost half my HP! Half!”
“Oh, my Crystal!” Cen cried, reaching for him. “I didn’t mean… I-I didn’t know!”
“Enough! Enough,” Kur said. “Crystal, just give me a few minutes! My head’s killing me…”
Cen bit her lip and looked miserably around her.
Nar considered the party leader, breathing tenderly and gently pressing his head. It looked like Kur had been hit harder than he had first thought.
“Eh! I may have almost killed myself and Nar. Twice, yes, I know!” Tuk said. “But you almost got us all killed, Cen! Well done, you have the new record!”
“Tuk!” Gad said, glaring at him. “Come on.”
“What? Just trying to lighten the mood. Get it? Lighten?”
“It’s not funny if you have to explain it,” Gad said.
Kur stood up and stumbled towards Cen. He dropped down next to her and patted her shoulder.
“Look, it’s alright,” he said, still looking dazed. “What’s done is done. Just tell us what happened. Slowly, and when you can see again!”
She looked up at him, with very wide eyes, and they glistened in the low yellow light.
“I-I can see… A bit better. I was…”
A sob escaped her lips and Kur patted her head.
“Come on, take a deep breath. Everyone’s fine. It was just an accident. Whatever it was, it won’t happen again, ok?”
“O-Okay. Okay.”
Cen took a few deep breaths to compose herself.
Meanwhile, Nar, who had managed to recover some semblance of thought, remembered that Jul had been right in front of him.
He looked behind him, searching for her, and found her staring at him from the floor.
“A-Are you alright?” he asked, louder than he had intended.
She stared.
“What? Is something wrong?” he asked, concern growing in his expression.
“You moved, right before the explosion,” she whispered. “You tried to cover me.”
“I-I did?”
Nar frowned. Had he?
Jul nodded slowly. “You did, I saw it. When the [Instinct] warned us, you leaned left and straightened your back, to cover me as best you could.”
“Uhm. Are you sure? I don’t think I…”
Her expression stiffened, and her eyebrows almost came together.
“Nar. I know what I saw! Listen, you have to…”
Whatever she was about to say, was shushed by Kur.
“Go on, Cen,” he said. “What were you trying to do?”
Cen looked crestfallen, slumped over and chastised. But she seemed calmer.
“Alright. Crystal. Where do I even begin…” she said. “I guess, I’ll just start at the beginning?”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Kur said.
She took a deep breath.
“Okay. So, I think this all started after we fought the cannibals. Back then, after I finally came clean about my [Aura Projectile], it was like my mind cleared up. Like I was me again. Like I could think again. And I started to think a lot about my [Aura].”
Kur nodded. “Go on.”
“Well, it’s just that it didn’t make sense,” she said. “Why was I gaining so much [Aura], even though I wasn’t using it? It went against the tenet of you are what you do, right?”
“Right! I still can’t wrap my head around it either,” Tuk said, as he finally sat up.
“That’s true,” Gad said. “It does not make any sense.”
“Right?” Cen said, looking around at the party. “Plus, why could it be used for fighting? It was meant to be a curse, a punishment for us sinners. So how come I have [Aura Projectile], a skill that is part of the System Itself? And why, and how, was it so strong? None of this made sense at all! And lastly, why had no one gained magic? Neither at the cubeplant, nor at the bridge, caster or otherwise, no one has unlocked magic yet. There is no reason to hide it, I think, not when our lives are on the line all the time! So that can only mean that no one has it. So where is it? Nobody knows. Instead, we have casters using their [Aura] to devastating effects. And now Tuk, and others who learned from him, can use it too...”
Nobody spoke at the uncomfortable implication in her words. Nar actually looked away from her.
“I’m sorry, I’m probably not making much sense. All I wanted to say was that, I realized that [Aura] looks like magic.”
What? Nar thought, stunned.
“Not almost,” Tuk said, frowning. “It looks exactly like magic. At the bridge, everybody kept asking me how I’d gotten magic! Nobody thought it was [Aura]!”
“Exactly! To us, who have heard of, but never actually seen magic, [Aura] looks just like what we expect magic to look like!” Cen said, her eyes glinting in the low light.
“We’ve seen it in the icons in the church…” Nar said, in a hushed tone.
“Lines and circles and drawings,” Cen said. “Never the real thing. And like Mul said, how do we know what’s real, and what’s made up?”
She looked at her brother as she spoke, and Mul rubbed his chin, considering her words.
“Ok,” Kur said. “[Aura] looks like magic. I actually agree with that, but so what?”
“So, what if, right, what if, [Aura] is not the punishment we all think it is?” Cen said, almost whispering the words. “What if it’s actually a blessing from the Crystal? What if I could use it directly, myself, just like I did at the machine?”
Nar blanked at her. That was too much to take in, all at once.
“My Crystal… And it worked?” Tuk asked. “You actually managed to…”
“I-I did!” Cen said, her eyes shining. “I reached to it. I touched it. That was when I lost control!”
“Wait! Wait! Wait!” Kur said, staring in shock at Cen. “Did you just say that you think [Aura]’s a blessing? Not a punishment?”
Cen swallowed hard, but she gave him a firm nod.
“Do you realize what you're saying?” Gad asked, when Kur looked too stunned to speak. “Aura has always been the curse of the workers. I mean, the ones that use it, like you yourself… What made you even consider such a thing? It’s… It’s pretty much blasphemy.”
She stared back at Gad. “Is it, though? If it's such a blasphemy to use, then why did the System give me this skill? Why is it still giving all of us [Aura] points?”
Her rebuttal left them all stumped, and for a moment, nobody spoke.
“Putting that stuff aside for now,” Mul suddenly said. “What you’re saying is that you used [Aura] itself, not the skill. Is that what you mean?”
Cen took a deep breath.
“I’m not sure. It felt like an [Aura Projectile], but at the same time, it felt different. Like it came from the place where aura used to come from.”
“From here?” Mul asked, touching his solar plexus.
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?” Tuk asked.
Cen pursed her lips. “No, not completely sure… But I didn’t use any stamina!”
Nar gasped, and he wasn’t the only one.
“Cen, are you sure about that?” Gad whispered. “That would mean…”
The caster nodded. “I am. I was looking at it. It usually goes down, and then it comes back up if I don’t actually use the skill. I never recover all of it, but it’s usually just one or two points of difference. This time, my stamina didn’t change at all.”
“Crystal!” Tuk whispered. “Do you realize what you’re saying? That means you could use your [Aura Projectile] without stamina! You’d be unstoppable!”
“There still has to be a limit somewhere,” Gad said. “That’s too good to be true.”
“I’m with you on that,” Cen said. “But where is the limit? And what’s going to happen if I use my own [Aura], directly, without needing the System? There’s no bar for it, how do I even know how much I have? And what is it? And where is it coming from? These are the questions that I have been asking myself, and I guess, in the end, it hit me! What if we’re meant to use [Aura]? What if aura is just like aether? What if they both come from the Crystal after all?”
Nar’s head spun. He wasn’t even sure he was following anymore.
“Are you saying that you want to abandon aether?” Kur asked. “For aura instead?”
“That’s insane!” Nar shouted, unable to contain himself. “Aura feels wrong. It cuts you up from the inside! It feels… It’s like…”
His breath was quickened, and his heartbeat pulsed against his temples.
“What if it's just a test?” he said, even as he remembered his failed faith. “Or… Or… I don’t know, what if it’s just part of the atonement?”
“I thought about that,” Cen said, calmly. “It would be the perfect test of faith, wouldn’t it? Offer us Climbers, who are desperate to stay alive, the power to do so, only to reveal that it had all been a test, and that you were never supposed to use it…”
Nar nodded furiously.
What was he even saying? He didn’t know.
But if they kept heading down this path that Cen was opening before them all, what would they find? What did it mean for him, with his massive [Aura], and for his needs? He didn’t want to be forced to use that damned, cursed thing!
“But,” Cen said, firmly, and raising a finger. “But. What if [Aura] is not a test? What if it’s not a temptation to resist? What if it’s actually the way up? What if it's even much more than that? What if it's the core of our paths! Powering us! Enhancing us! Just like magic is supposed to do! Except, it's right here! Inside of us already. Inside of all of us!”
Cen looked around.
“I’m not trying to make you all abandon your dreams of magic! I just want you to consider the possibility with me? That maybe we have [Aura] for a reason. Except for Gad, Kur and Viy, we’ve had it our whole lives, working in those factories! I just want you to open your minds to the possibility that it’s not a test, not a temptation, not even a punishment. But something that we own, and that we’ve grown within us since we were ten or eleven!”
Five, Nar thought bitterly. And if anything, that’s all the more reason to hate it.
Silence met her words. Nar didn’t know if anyone dared to look at Cen. He himself did not.
He felt torn.
He could see where she was coming from. He could see the reason in her words. He had seen the power she commanded. And Crystal dammit, it did look and felt like what he thought magic was supposed to!
At the same time, what if this was just the cries for help from a desperate caster? One who saw magic getting further and further from her grasp? What if she was just desperately trying to believe that her path had not been corrupted beyond measure? Beyond saving? What if she was trying to drag them all down as well and…
No!
No.
He repelled that thought with his entire being.
Cen’s not like that. Yes, she lied to us. She kept her [Aura Projectile] hidden, but she came clean when we needed her. And she has since. She’s never asked for anything, never shown any hard feelings at all for using it. No… What she wants is to not be ignored. To talk. To consider that this [Aura] might actually mean something bigger than what we think it is… To at least be open to discuss the possibilities…
Nar looked up and Cen’s eyes snapped to him, like someone falling and reaching out for help.
He sighed.
How many times had he walked home from work covered in blood? No one had even looked at him, or said a kind word, or stopped to even consider if what they were doing to that small child was right. They had all just accepted it. Just like Nar had always accepted that aura was a punishment. Because his parents had told him. And their parents had told them. But what did they know in the end?
Not about time.
Not about pillows.
Not about banquets…
They knew nothing.
In the end, the people in the cubeplant knew practically nothing of the wide, Infinite Nexus that surrounded them, but that they themselves were not a part of.
“Okay,” Nar said. “Let’s assume that you’re right. What does that mean?”
Cen’s eyes pleaded at him. “Nar, I swear, I just want to…”
“I know, I understand,” he said. “I know you’re not trying to sway us into using it. That’s not the kind of person you are. You just want to talk about it. And that’s fine. We’ll talk with you. We’ll consider it. After all, what in the pile do we know? But you need to understand that this whole thing… Well, it scares me. I can’t give up on magic. It’s not for me. It’s not for… I just… I-I can’t. If I do, then I won’t be able to…”
He forced his mouth shut and looked away. His heart thumped against his chest. His hands had balled into fists.
Fear. Hope. Guilt. Sorrow. His emotions raged, and he was scared of how close he had come to revealing himself. Of telling the whole truth.
“Thank you.”
Nar looked up.
A solitary tear ran down Cen’s face, but she was smiling.
His words, it seemed, had been enough.
“I’m sorry, Cen” Kur said. “I was scared as well. The thought of it, the implications, it terrifies me to be honest.”
“It terrifies me too,” Cen whispered.
“I know we are selfish, to rely on you and Tuk,” Kur said. “I know that we are ruining your paths and your chances at magic. I just… I don’t know what I’ll do if I find myself up there without it.”
Cen shook her head.
“I know. That was a big reason why I kept quiet about it too… But I don’t want fear to guide me anymore. Am I scared that I am making a mistake? Yes, I am. But at the same time, I just feel it. Deep inside me,” she said, touching her chest. “There’s more to [Aura] than what we see and understand. Will it be a harder path? Maybe. I don’t know. All the Named Few in the church use magic after all, there has to be a reason for that. But at least, [Aura] will get me out alive. Whatever comes afterwards, I’ll decide. But right now, I’m tired of being afraid of it… And i never want to be in that position again, knowing that I almost let everyone die for my selfishness and fear…”
Damn… She’s so brave, Nar thought.
She was small, and slow, and physically, she was the weakest amongst them. But by the Crystal, to Nar, she looked like Gad then. Towering. Unyielding. Carving her own path, no matter what.
If only he could be as brave. If only he could be sure that [Aura] would be strong enough to save his dad, and assure their life in the O-Nex.
If only…
“Well, I’ve heard enough!” Mul said.
Mul stood up and stretched with a mighty groan.
“Mul, I-I…”
Mul slapped his hands on Cen’s shoulders and squeezed.
“I’ve decided! Teach me how to use my [Aura]!” he said, beaming at her. “I have 25 points in it. If I add it to my 27 points of [Strength], those guardians will be nothing to me!”
Cen gaped at him and Mul… Mul flipped the finger at Tuk.
“Also, I had the same [Aura] as you when you told us you wanted to try to learn it,” Mul said, glaring at Tuk. “I’ll show you ain’t so special.”
“What?” Tuk stammered, taken aback. “But I…”
“Yeah, yeah. Blah, blah. Don’t care.”
“What the fuck?”
“But Mul,” Cen said. “This is just a feeling I have! You can’t just throw away your chances at magic like that!”
Mul shrugged. “To tell you the truth, I’ve been thinking about it ever since that bridge. Ever since I saw just how useful Mr. Over Inflated Ego here was.”
“Again, what did I do?” Tuk said, with an affronted expression.
Kur shushed him. “Just take it, okay? This is important.”
“You, that caster, Tuk. You guys saved our lives!” Mul said. “While me? My punches are barely tickling these things now. How am I supposed to compete with 4-inch armor? Neither my skills or attributes are a match for it. But if I had [Aura]... I know it will be a different story.”
“Still...” Cen said, looking uncertain.
“Also, I like the sound of it. If this [Aura] really is already inside of us, then I prefer to use my own [Aura] than beg the Crystal for Its magic. Especially after what It pulled on us on that bridge.”
“Mul!” Cen cried, covering her mouth in horror.
“No, Cen. Enough,” the brawler said, shaking his head. “I’m sick of being punished for something I don’t even know what it is! That bridge was meant to end us! You hear me? Do you all hear? End us! And I’m sick of waiting for mercy. If the Crystal had any for me, I wouldn’t be here in the first place! It wouldn’t have made me born down here as a sinner! So teach me. My [Aura], and my fists, will get us out. Not prayer. Not fear. And certainly not begging!”
Nar had to force the “Yes!” from escaping past his lips. He had thought that! Damn but he had thought that exact same way, every single day of his miserable existence at that machine. Bleeding, puking, crying. Suffering beyond any of them ever had. An Unclean. Shunted. Ignored. Starved. Hated!
Where had the Crystal been? How dare It repay his dad’s selflessness with the Wasting sickness? If Nar didn’t need Its magic… If only he had no need for it! And if only it didn’t feel like dying every time he used his [Aura], then he… Then he…
If only… Damn it! Damn it all!
He had to swallow it. For his dad, he needed that thrice cursed aether, and it only came from the Crystal. Oh! How he wished he could be like Mul, and learn to use the [Aura]. His [Aura]. The one he already had, and which he had earned, and suffered for nearly fourteen years… If only…
“Damn, man. That was deep,” Tuk said.
“And very blasphemous,” Gad added. “Can’t argue against it though.”
“Please don’t do it again,” Cen asked in a tiny voice, looking at the darkness on either side of the corridor, expecting guardians to come swooping in on them.
Mul grinned. “I’ll keep it to a minimum. If you teach me. Will you?”
Cen pursed her lips and balled her firsts, tightening her whole body.
“Please?”
“Ugh! Fine! I’ll teach you. And Tuk too! And Nar. He was the one that actually figured it out.”
Nar forced a smile and nodded.
If only…
“I want to use my [Aura] too,” Mul said, casting a questioning look at Kur.
The party leader heaved a sigh.
“Look. You do whatever you want,” he said. “You know the risks to your path and to yourself. I’m no one to tell you what to do with your life... Just make sure you’re aware of the potential consequences. It’s your decision.”
Mul nodded. “Thank you. And I understand all of that crap, don’t worry.”
“Ugh…” Kur groaned, and passed a hand over his face. “And Cen, if you’re going to continue what you’re doing, do it far away from now on. That goes for all of you. I don't want anyone competing for that damned record!”
Tuk tutted.
“Typical management. Always taking the joy out of everything.”
“I just don’t want anyone to die!”
And like that, once again, Tuk managed to elicit laughter where there shouldn’t have been any.
Nar felt his shoulders ease a bit. [Aura], it seemed, was there to stay, and he had made his position known. And it had been accepted. With that, even though he still carried secrets, he felt like he could finally relax, somewhat. Ease off the guilt a little, at least.
“I want to try to use my [Aura] too!” Tuk said.
Cen frowned at him. “Aren’t you already doing it? Wait… Now that I think about it… Oh my Crystal! Tuk! What in the pile?”
Everyone stared at the ring tosser.
“Damn, I think she’s right,” Kur said. “Ugh, this is hurting my head.”
Tuk grinned, then burst out laughing.
“Typical…” Gad said, shaking her head.
“Well done, Tuk!” Jul said, giving him a smile.
“Whoop-whoop!” Tuk shouted, bumping his fists into the air. “Who’s the best?”
Cen could only stare at Tuk, completely flabbergasted.
For his part, Nar could only shake his head. All this confusion, and it could’ve probably all been resolved if Cen had been up front with them. Like Kur and Gad had told him.
He sighed. His head hurt as well.
And that's three out of eight... How many more of us will change their minds? Nar wondered, smiling at Tuk’s antics despite himself.
Had it not been for his dad, and for the need to become a Named Few, Nar would’ve been swayed. He had no doubt of it.
As it was, he held. He wanted nothing from his 48 points of [Aura], other than to forget that they were there.
However, it wasn’t that simple, now, was it?
As they continued Climbing, those 48 points of [Aura] kept whispering to him.
Was he being selfish for not telling anything? For not learning to use them? What if his decision led them all to their deaths? What if something happened, and they needed his [Aura], but he didn’t know how to use it? What then?
His peace of mind was short-lived.
He was back in the position of having to choose between his dad, and their future, and the safety of the party. Was he not doing exactly what Cen had done? Hiding his true capabilities?
Buckling under the weight of this new found guilt, Nar found himself growing taciturn. Quieter. Retreating back to the person he had been, when he had joined Kur’s party.
And while he did not notice it, so did the others.
As Cen, Mul and Tuk grew closer in their shared goal of understanding their [Aura], the others buckled under the weight of their own thoughts and decisions. Were they not all in the wrong? Shouldn’t they all learn it, if it meant an easier and safer Climb for the whole party? And his [Aura]’s incessant whispers only made it worse.
How much damage can you do with me? I am the answer to the DPS side of your path! Imagine what we could do together? Nothing would stand in our path! I am power! Forget about magic! Forget about begging for it! What has the Crystal ever done for you, except spit on you at every turn and moment of your life? And are you really going to let the three of them sacrifice themselves for you? Are you going to hide behind them? Let them carry you up into your own freedom? What kind of path do you think that is?
There was no way of shutting it up.
Nar almost turned back to prayer. Almost. But he did not. Even now, he could not bring himself to do it.
What had started to fade after the cubeplant’s defense, had died completely after that bridge crossing. Nar doubted he could ever pray again.
He wondered, however, if in the end, he would be forced to. Forced to forgive the Crystal, just as It forgave him, and accept It, in order to gain his magic…
Only time would tell.
He just wanted to save his dad.
But what would he say of his son’s choice?
Nar didn’t want to think about it.
DING!
-[ You have leveled up!
You have gained:
??? 12 -> 14
??? 17 -> 18 ]-
Nar stared in confusion at his gains.
There was no [Aura], which was a bit of a relief. But there was no [Speed], or [Instinct] or [Reflex] either. Not even [Strength] or [Constitution]. Only the two enigmatic [???] attributes.
He sighed.
I forgot about them. What even are they? With my luck, and the state of things, it’s probably something else I don’t need.
And so, in such a state of mind, the party dragged itself forward, not realizing the splinter forming between them. Not realizing the danger in it. And as they walked, the corridors grew darker and darker, the arrows dimmer. But no one noticed the darkness closing in.
