Luke Everhart
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Chapter 77 - Growing Ever Closer
🕑 Added 2024-11-20 14:14:55 +0000 UTCHalf an hour later, Nar stepped out of the blaster.
His whole body stung, and his skin protested against his new set of clothes. He had blasted himself until his skin had taken on an angry red, and it had been worth it.
He stepped out of that blaster feeling like he had been born anew.
“Hey, looking good, Nar! Glad to see you’re finally awake,” Tuk said.
“Yeah, me too,” Nar replied. He scanned the trugger up and down and smiled. “You look alright too.”
“Man, that 500% healing whatever? I’m telling you, I’ve never had a better sleep than that. And the blasting that morning? Hmmm!”
Nar laughed and pointed behind him. “I know!”
“It was like being kissed by the Crystal Itself!”
Erhm, too much…
“By the way, I see you’re still wearing the old gear.”
“The what?”
Tuk pointed at Nar’s [Climber’s Shirt], then at his.
“Not purple. Purple. How did you not notice?”
Nar looked down and stared at Tuk's clothes. Instead of the almost white, light gray color, his clothes were now purple. And when he moved, Nar saw the same iridescent effect on the material as he did on his own sword, except it was much more subdued.
The shape of the clothes itself was the exact same.
“Where did you get that?” Nar asked him.
Tuk’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait! You haven’t opened your notifications yet?”
“I-No?”
Tuk slapped his arm.
“There’re rewards, man! Gains! I even got a skill upgrade! Wait! I even got a new attribute, man! It’s insane! Go on! Look!”
“Ah, okay! I will!”
“Wait, Nar!”
In the blink of an eye, Nar had his UI up and had immediately noticed the flashing notification symbol. However, as Kur approached him, he made the UI go away again.
His party leader also wore the new gear, and physically, he looked healed from the ordeal. However, there were dark circles under his eyes, and he avoided looking at Nar’s face. That alone made his stomach twist uncomfortably.
“I’m glad you’re awake. Like Tuk said, the rewards are quite something. However, before you have a look at them, I was hoping I could have some of your time. With everyone.”
Nar repressed a sigh and nodded. Best to just do it.
“Yeah, of course Kur. Whatever you need.”
“I… Thank you. Maybe, we’ll just get to it, then? Tuk?”
“Yeah. That sounds great, man.”
Here we go, Nar though, as he followed after Kur.
“Everyone,” Kur said. “I know it's early, and I know we all just woke up. We’ve been through a lot, and we deserve the rest. But I think that, unless we talk about a few certain things, and make some decisions, none of us will be able to properly relax.”
Nar sat down with Tuk, by the edge of the party and looked at the others.
Cen and Mul sat together, as he expected them too. Cen’s mouth was a thin line, and her eyebrows were deeply furrowed, but he couldn’t read anything from her, which was rare. Usually, Cen wore her emotions openly. Mul looked equally as impossible to read. His face was completely blank and devoid of anything that betrayed his thoughts.
Gad looked stern. That was the best way he could describe it. Not angry, not sad, and certainly not scared. She looked like there were things she wanted to hear being said, and she would say those things herself if nobody else did.
Viy, next to her, didn’t even acknowledge Kur.
That left Rel and Jul. The two of them sat together, backs straight against the wall.
Jul looked pale, and he could see the sweat glistening on her forehead. She was definitely scared that her real class was one of those certain things that needed to be talked about, and decided upon. All of a sudden, Nar felt bad for teasing her. She was probably scared witless that she was about to be kicked out of the party, even if the thought was utter nonsense. No one was ever going to kick her out, but Nar didn’t put it past her to worry about it. It was too late to do anything about it now, though.
As for Rel, she stared impavidly at Kur. Was she worried that he would not keep his promise? Or did she feel like whatever was about to be discussed had nothing to do with her, other than the fact that she and her former party members had caused all of this to happen?
And speaking of party members, I forgot she killed Tas. Should I… Talk to her about it?
He was still sore from his recent failure with Tuk. But Rel was not Tuk, was she? Was she even one of them? Should he care about her, at the same level as he did the others? He wasn’t sure.
“So,” Kur began, in a level voice. “We’ve all just been through something… Something beyond describing. Thank the Crystal, we are all alive. Give it up to luck, or the Crystal’s mercy, I still can’t believe that we all survived what we did, and that we came out of it as well as we did.”
Nar found himself nodding, along with most of the others.
“You guys did amazing. All of you. And the rewards you’ve all received are proof of that. I’m incredibly blessed to have you as my party.”
He took a deep breath, readying himself.
“However, I cannot ignore that none of this should’ve happened. And I'm not blaming Nar for it. His heart was in the right place, just as it’s always been. I don’t think there is anyone here that thinks that Nar is to blame for what happened. He acted correctly, and he is still right at this very moment, now that we know it was all a trick. We have been let down by Climbers before, and we were let down again. But I ask you to remember that there were many others with whom we had no issues with. Only a few had malicious intentions in regards to our AUCs, and I don’t think anyone here has forgotten Row and her party.”
He cast his eyes about the faces before him, making eye contact with each one of them. When Kur stared at Nar, his stare lingered, and Nar read the pain within him.
“So, don’t blame Nar, and don’t blame yourselves. We were victims. We were tricked and lied to. It was not our fault. All we can do is learn from this. Learn that there are good people in the Nexus, and not so good people as well. Be it Climbers down here, or people up there, I want to believe that the vast majority of sentients don’t have bad intentions towards us. So, there is no point in blaming the victims, nor in believing that the whole Nexus is out to get us. From now on, we will just be cautious with anyone and everyone. Whoever it is, they will need to work to earn our trust. I don’t want us to ever end up in a situation like this again.”
He had been running out of breath at the end there, and took a moment to gather himself again.
“However, I also have to admit that we should have handled this better. A lot better than we did. We practically did their job for them, and that needs to be said. And I’ll start with myself. The worst failure in all of this…” he said, and swallowed hard. However, he did not avert his eyes from them, and stared squarely and openly at the party. “As your party leader, it's my job to look out for the party. Yes, it’s on all of us to take responsibility for doing our best for this party, and yes, you guys didn’t do it. But it was primarily my job, as the leader, to interact with another party and safeguard us from them. To keep watch. To be vigilant. To not…”
His voice faltered and he looked away.
“Go on, Kur,” Cen said as Kur covered his mouth. “It’s alright. We’re all to blame here.”
“We are,” Mul said. “But Kur, you’re right that yours was the biggest point of failure. Still, just talk to us, man. Nobody here wants to kick you out or have a different party leader. So let's just throw it all out and figure shit out.”
Kur wiped his eyes and nodded.
“I… Yes. I was going to ask that. If you want me to step down.”
“You’re our party leader,” Tuk said. “And I refuse to have another.”
Kur nodded again and took a deep breath.
“There were a few things. First, the magic. When that piece of shit told us that there was magic, I lost it!”
Tears shone down his face as he forced the words out.
“He said it existed, and I… I just felt so, so… I can’t even describe it. I had broken your path, Cen and Tuk, and Mul too, if Tas hadn’t stopped me. I had ruined your future! All for something that we should have never touched. Something I refused to touch!”
Cen inhaled wetly, and Mul passed an arm over her shoulders. It was hard to tell from his red neon eyes, but Nar swore that they shone in the soft yellow glow that emanated from the ceiling.
He knew his own eyes must have been shining too.
“[Aura] was just a trick, a test! How could I have missed that?” Kur continued. “How could I have allowed you guys to go down that path? And then the stuff about the Sentry, and how to fight the soldiers? Crystal damn it! I just felt like the most stupid, useless party leader ever! And he crossed the bridge with two deaths! More than fifty people died when we crossed! Even with [Aura], even with everything we threw at that challenge, over a quarter of us still died there!”
The last words had come as a shout, and Kur’s raw pain poured from him. Nar looked away, feeling the tears fall down his own face.
“After all that, what right did I have to lead you? With what delusion, or pride, or arrogance, could I pretend to know better than he did? Who cared if he behaved like shit? Who cared if he shattered our party into pieces? He had stuff to teach us. He was getting results! As long as he could take us all to the end, it didn’t matter to me who was the leader! I just wanted everyone to get out safely!”
Kur knelt down and leaned on one knee, covering his face.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I gave up my responsibility. I’m sorry that I gladly did it! I threw it onto Tas and he did whatever he wanted with us. And I let it happen. I. Let. It. Happen!”
Kur looked at them, tears streaking down from his red eyes. He slammed his fist hard against his chest.
“Me! I did it! I almost killed us all! It was all my fault!”
He cried and beat his chest. Cen ran to him and threw herself into his chest, wrapping her arms around him, and stopping him from further hurting himself.
“It was not just you!” she shouted. “I blamed you! I hated you! What if you ruined my chances at getting magic! It was all that I wanted! It was my biggest fear! How were me and Mul going to survive on the surface without it? And what was going to happen to our paths? I saw it all happen just as well, and I let it happen. I felt used, even though it was my own choice, and I hated you all for using me! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”
Nar bit his lip and looked down, covering his eyes.
She’s right. She’s absolutely right. I used her. I used Tuk. I made them open the way for me, while I protected my own future. I can’t deny it…
“I felt used too,” Tuk said. “I felt like I had sacrificed myself for nothing.”
“And I felt like you didn’t deserve Cen’s sacrifice,” Mul said, in a low voice. “A sacrifice that I was about to make as well. You guys used us. You are guilty of that, and that guilt made you all jump at the lie with both feet. It was your way out of what you had done to us, and which had refused to do yourselves!”
“You’re right,” Gad said. “I felt guilty and then I felt relieved. I used you.”
So did I! So did I! Nar thought. But I had no choice. I can’t give it up!
“I swore to myself that if something bad happened to your paths, that I would protect you guys for the rest of my life. I would never abandon you! Never!” Kur said. “But it wasn’t until that moment that I realized what I had done.”
“Rel,” Jul suddenly asked, drawing all eyes to her. “Is there really no magic? Or was Wik just lying again?”
Rel considered the party, and sighed. “I wish he was. I don’t know if there is or isn’t magic. But we never found it. Our caster died before the cannibals got to us. He died on the bridge. The only bridge we crossed, into the Mid-Levels.”
“So that was a lie too?” Kur asked. “About the easy crossing?”
Rel grimaced.
“Yes. It was horrible. There were nearly three hundred of us, and less than half made it through.”
“Crystal…” Kur whispered, stunned.
Rel nodded, apologetically, and looked back at Jul.
“All I’ve ever seen is [Aura]. No fire. No ice. No lightning. To be honest, I don’t even know what those words mean, other than that they represent those squiggly lines drawn into the icons at the church.”
“I believe it's real!” Cen said. “More than that! I know magic is real! But I also believe that it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“No, Cen, you can’t give up! I’ll never ask you to use [Aura] again!” Kur said, holding her hand. “I’ll learn it! I’ll use my [Aura]. I have it too after all!”
Cen shook her head and took a deep breath.
“You don’t need to ask me, Kur. I have decided that [Aura] is in my path.”
“But… What? Why?”
“Because I’ve come to believe that we have all truly been using it, and thinking of it, wrong. With the power of my [Aura Projectile]s, I have opened the way for us many times. [Aura] has saved our lives again and again. I refuse to believe that it’s just a test, or that the Crystal is being cruel to us, forcing us to use it. I’ve used [Aura] for almost all of my life. It’s a piece of myself that I carry from our home, and I think it's time I accepted it. I will understand it. I will understand why using it feels so wrong. At least, I now understand why we all kept gaining it.”
“The Pressure,” Kur breathed. “It was the damn Pressure all along.”
Cen nodded. “It was always painful, but it was tolerable. Just enough to strengthen us. To make us use our [Aura] without us even realizing we were doing it.”
“So that we could cross the barrier?” Tuk asked.
“That, and perhaps more,” Cen said. “I just don’t know yet, what is coming ahead of us. But this is power. I have no doubt about it. It’s a power that I have, and that is mine. It might even be outside the Source. I used my own [Aura] to power my projectiles when we got to the barrier. I had no choice. Through stamina it was too slow and too weak. But with my own aura?”
She shook her head. “I felt invincible!”
“By the Crystal. Is that true?” Tuk asked.
“I noticed it,” Nar said, speaking for the first time. “I saw you. But I also saw the blood running down your eyes. Your nose, your ears!”
“I will fix it,” Cen vowed. “I’m not going to give up. I owe it to myself to get to the truth of this. There’re just too many things that don’t add up about aura.”
“And I will do it with you,” Mul said. “I had already made up my mind, and all this shit has only made me regret not going through with it, when I had already decided that I would. I know now that I was right. What I want is [Aura]. Something that is mine and that won’t be taken away from me or used against me. After all, if the Crystal grants magic, who knows what conditions it imposes for it?”
The brawler shook his head.
“I’m sick of all this magic talk. I’m taking my [Aura] and doing what I want with it.”
Cen hesitated, but then she nodded.
“Me too,” Tuk said. “I love you guys. If anything happened to you guys, I… I can’t… I couldn’t…”
Nar placed an arm over Tuk’s shoulders and squeezed. The guilt and shame of how badly he had failed Tuk burned inside him. He still needed to talk to the trugger about it.
“I think that, from now on, we should all learn to use our [Aura],” Kur said, in the silence that followed Tuk’s words. “And I think we should all take turns using it.”
“What? No!” Tuk shouted. “I’m more than happy to do it!”
“I won’t use you again, Tuk,” Kur said. “I can’t. I won’t. I won’t use you either Cen, and I will not use Mul. We all have a responsibility to contribute to this Climb in equal measure. And I think none of us want to carry this guilt and commit this unfairness anymore.”
“I will learn,” Gad said. “And I will use it. All I ever did was push carts around. Tuk had to basically drag me through that barrier. So, I don’t know if I’ll be any good, but I have some [Aura], and I will do the best I can with it.”
“I will learn too!” Jul said.
“Not sure if I count,” Rel said. “But I would like to at least learn it as well.”
Nar nodded. “I’ll learn it too.”
“I will too,” Viy whispered.
They all stared at her in breathless surprise.
“No one should use anyone. We’re all together,” Viy said, still staring at her lap.
Having said that, she went quiet again, and Gad kneeled down and whispered something in her ear.
“And I will learn too,” Kur said. “And that makes all of us. And we will all contribute. Cen, Tuk, I hope you guys don’t mind teaching us.”
“Of course not!” Tuk said.
“I will do my best,” Cen said smiling.
“Thank you. And still on this topic, I think it's time for all of us to come clean about our [Aura] attributes. It has been a source of great anguish for all of us, and it has been something that we’ve all worked to hide. Some more than others. From now on, we will keep it out in the open. We will know, we will all accept it, and it won’t be something that can be used to break us apart like this again. This is not up for discussion. We will all do it.”
“Great to see some leadership again,” Mul said.
Kur simply nodded, gracefully taking the well-deserved jab.
“I will go first, then. I have 15 points of [Aura],” Kur revealed.
“I have 11,” Gad said.
“I have 25,” Jul said.
Nar’s heart hammered in his chest. The moment was finally here.
“26,” Rel said.
“19,” Viy said.
“29,” Mul said.
Sweat broke out across his forehead. It was his turn soon. He was leaving himself for last.
“I have 34,” Tuk said grinning, at Mul.
Only Cen left now! Oh, my Crystal! I need to speak! I need to…
“I’m at 36,” Cen said. “Four points away from my first modifier.”
Nar was going to get sick.
“Nar?” Kur asked.
“Y-Yes?”
“How many do you have?”
They all stared at him, expectantly.
“It’s okay, man. You got this. I’ll never force you to use them,” Tuk whispered to him. “You do more than enough for us already.”
Nar took a deep breath and licked his dry lips.
“I… I haven’t checked yet. My gains, that is. But after the bridge… After the bridge, it was at 48.”
Complete and utter silence.
All he could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat, trying to claw its way out of his chest.
“What did you say?” Kur mumbled. “I think I heard wrong.”
There were stunned nods from the others.
Nar took a deep breath. “You heard right. I have 48. [Aura] has my first modifier.”
“And you haven’t checked your gains yet?” Mul asked.
Nar nodded. The worst bit was coming.
“How is that possible?” Cen asked. “Have you been using your [Aura] all this time? Without telling us?”
Nar shook his head. “I started at 21.”
Here it came.
“How?” Gad asked. “You’re not a caster.”
Nar looked down from their stunned faces. He couldn’t bear to see their reactions when he finally told them. Not even Kur’s. Not even Gad’s. Not even Jul’s.
He licked his dry lips, feeling like he was going to pass out.
“I am… Was, one of the Unclean.”
If the silence before had been complete, this one was deafening. Obliterating even. For a couple of seconds, nobody remembered to even breathe.
“Hmm… What’s an Unclean?” Rel asked, when nobody spoke.
“It’s a damned good reason to Climb,” Nar heard Mul say. “Fuck, man. I-I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
Nar nodded. He still couldn’t look at any of them.
“Nar, I want to hear me now, okay? That stuff… It stayed back there,” Kur said. “It’s gone. It doesn’t matter anymore. You understand?”
“It was pileshit to begin with. I never agreed with it,” Tuk said. “Never! Neither did my mom or my brothers and sisters.”
He gave Nar a tight hug, and Nar thought he was going to lose control of his emotions.
“You’re you, Nar. One of us. That is all that matters,” Gad said.
Nar gently disentangled himself from Tuk, and patted his shoulder.
“Thanks… Thanks, guys. I… Yeah, I’ll tell you what my [Aura] is at, once I check it. I bet it’s gone up.”
“You do that, ok? There is no reason to hide it. There’s no reason to hide anything from now on,” Kur told him, and Nar felt the sincerity in his words. “Whatever we keep from one another, can be used against each other, and we’re not going to let that happen again!”
“Never!” Tuk shouted.
“Never,” Cen said.
“Never,” Nar said, his voice low and drowned out by that of the others.
They accept me. They accept me? How?
Tuk shook him.
“You’re one of us. You're here. You’re my friend. A part of my party. All that fucking shit? Gone! It’s the past! You’re not Unclean! You’re one of us!” the ring tosser said.
Nar nodded, unable to speak. He didn’t trust himself to do more than nodding with his head.
“And so, we reach the last and worst point of the agenda,” Kur said, raising his voice above all others. “Jul’s lie!”
Jul gasped and tried to shrink into the wall.
“I-I…”
Kur raised his hand.
“All in favor of kicking Jul out of the party? Raise your… Wait, I’m just kidding. Don’t cry!”
Big, full tears ran down Jul’s shocked, frozen face.
“Kur, come on!” Gad said, walking towards Jul.
“I was just joking!” Kur said. “Jul, I’m just joking. Ah… Crystal’s sake! No one’s kicking you out!”
Jul buried her face in Gad’s shoulder and they all laughed at Kur’s expense.
Nar joined in on the chastising. Let no one know that he had played exactly the same prank on her.
