Luke Everhart
patreon
Chapter 236 - Worthiness
🕑 Added 2025-04-23 10:30:05 +0000 UTCKur stared at his interlaced fingers, resting atop his lap, and did his best to retain a neutral expression as instructor Cal checked his dungeon gains. After a moment of silence, she dismissed them and brought up his status instead.
“That was quite the first dungeon, wasn’t it?” she asked, her tone soft.
Kur nodded, suppressing a sigh.
“It was rough,” he conceded. “But the party was amazing, and we pulled through… And got lucky.”
“Hmm…” she said. “Good old, self-made luck. Had your party members not been as strong and hardworking as they are, things would’ve not gone as well.”
No they wouldn’t, Kur thought. But that’s not why I’m here today.
“Kur…” she sighed. “I know you’re disappointed with these gains. Not much in attributes, and basically nothing in terms of skill upgrades except for unlocking [NPL], which every other party leader does at this level...”
Kur couldn’t help but let his head drop a smidge lower.
“But you are a great party leader, and the fact that you all pulled through that corrupted dungeon alive is a testament to that!” she said, her tone exasperated. “But your affinity goes much beyond just being a great party leader, doesn’t it?”
“I’m taking steps for that,” Kur said, hating the sound of his own voice. “I’m slowly getting a bigger boost from my [Reputation Amongst the People] and…”
“It’s not enough, Kur!” she said. “I know how hard you study! I know how hard you practice your skills! And I know you’re capable of more! But you’re pulling yourself back across the board when it comes to taking leadership of anything outside of your party! And we both know you’re doing that on purpose because you’re afraid!”
Kur clenched his jaw and stared back down at his hands.
“You are a capable leader, Kur… You’ve taken charge of that bridge crossing, and I’ve seen you taking charge with Row and her party. So why not expand on that?”
“That’s just Row and her party. We work well together. We co-lead…”
The pink and purple skinned woman groaned in frustration.
“Kur, what are you scared of? Why haven’t you taken the lead in any of the project assignments within the Leaders Hall?”
Kur bit his lip, but said nothing, and Instructor Cal sighed again and leaned over the desk.
“Kur, come on. Just talk to me. You’re hindering what I can see is a great potential, and it’s hurting me to see it,” she said. “Just tell me what is stopping you?”
The altei heaved a big breath, a touch of a shake coming through at its apex, and he passed a hand over his growing, yellow pale hair as a way to cover it.
“I don’t know…” he whispered. “They all just seem so much more capable than I am. What right do I have to lead better leaders than me?”
Cal frowned at him. “Are you talking about Juf and Dac?”
Kur gave her a half-nod.
Juf and Dac, who had been the raid leaders responsible for leading the Climbers down the middle and left bridges during their insane Ceremony of Final Atonement, had also been snapped up by the Scimitar. Juf because of her masterful command of the entire raid and the middle bridge, which decided all of their fates, and Dac, who Kur had come to learn had managed to keep the Climbers of the left bridge motivated and fighting even after the devastating dual attack of the dragonfly and the raid boss’ attack!
Kur couldn’t even begin to understand how the man had managed to keep the survivors going in the face of such an onslaught, and there was no logical way in the Pile that he was ever comparing them with him, and deciding that he was the better leader.
Plus, the two of them just exuded charisma, and there was a sort of informal split amongst the Leadership apprentices into the two camps under either Juf’s or Dac’s leadership. Kur had so far kept himself largely neutral, thanks in no small part to Rel’s destruction of the dragonfly, and now thanks to the fact that his party had survived the illatrian and with Nar having beaten the record for earliest [Aura Blade] learner in the Scimitar’s aprentice-ship history, but the slice of neutral party leaders amongst whom he sought to cultivate his favor and reputation was slowly dwindling, hindering his growth…
“The two of them are quite charismatic and talented, Kur. But why do you think you’re inferior to them?”
The question startled him and he looked up to see a pensive expression upon Cal’s features.
“I mean, sure, they led you in that Ceremony… But how do you know you wouldn’t have done better?” she asked him. “Furthermore, while their achievements were great, is it that hard to keep people going forward when there is no back to retreat to?”
“What-what do you mean?” Kur asked, stunned.
“I mean exactly what I’m saying. The Ceremony was tough, but was it that tough to lead?” she asked. “Destroy everything. Keep going forward. Hold the sides… Did Juf even do anything about that dragonfly? Or was that Rel, and you, realizing that as a party leader, you needed to let her sacrifice herself in order to give everyone else a chance at making it through?”
Kur could only stare at her, taken aback by her callous words.
“You might think I am being dismissive of Juf’s and Dac’s efforts, but I’m just trying to give you some perspective,” she said, crossing her arms, all the usual friendliness in her face replaced by dead seriousness, her purple eyes darkening. “And to get you to dig deeper, Kur. So dig… You were a manager brat. Tell me about it.”
“I… What? Why?” he asked, unable to find a footing in that conversation. “What does that have anything to do with this?”
She arched an eyebrow at him. “Raised tone. Defensive posture. You tell me.”
Kur looked down to realize he had crossed his arms in front of him, his hands clenched into fists.
“What sort of manager were you?” she asked him, before he could try and backpedal out of it. “What was your style? How much did your parents enable or block? Come on! Don’t fight me on this. Just answer the damned questions.”
Kur gulped drily and unclenched his jaw.
“I… My parents were kind managers. They were… Are loved by all of our workers. We’re like a fam… A family,” he said, his voice faltering at the torrent of memories and faces that inundated his mind. “Our workers followed our orders, and they did the best we could with them. They made sure nobody starved. They did their best to ensure nobody died in a machine… And sometimes that worked, but the quota was the quota… And shit happened all the time.”
“And you? What sort of manager were you?” she prodded.
“I was like them. I-I strived and aspired to be like them… And I think the workers liked me too,” he said, his voice a hushed husk. “I did everything I could for them. I learned everything I could about the machines. Ran safety drills… Implemented guidelines to make sure they kept track of themselves and of each other at all times, and to minimize deaths…”
“But?”
“But the quota was the quota,” he whispered. “No matter how many times I tried to get the senior managers to listen and to try to implement my ideas… They would just silence me. And when I pushed…”
“They got angry?”
“They punished my parents and all of our workers for allowing me to forget my place,” Kur hissed. “They starved us for a week! Just because I tried to make our lives a little bit better!”
“And how did that make you feel?” she asked, her tone gentle.
“Like there was no point to anything… That no matter what I did, I had no voice. No power… No influence…” he whispered, clenching his jaw and squinting his eyes at the burning that formed behind them. “No matter what, my people would still die and suffer, and there was nothing I could do to change that.”
“And that’s when you decided to Climb? To go and find somewhere where you could make a difference?”
“Yes…”
“Did you find that in your party?”
“Yes.”
“And in Row’s party, whenever the occasion demanded it?” she asked.
Kur closed his eyes and nodded.
“Juf and Dac are going through their own challenges, Kur,” Cal told him. “Don’t forget that in the end, Juf dropped everything and ran for it, not bothering to even try and help anyone else. She could have gotten the Climbers organized to destroy those long range attackers that nearly wiped you all at the end, and this is not conjecture. You can look it up. Several raid leaders managed just that and kept the casualties to a minimum… Unlike what happened in your Ceremony. And she knows this… She knows her actions could have made a huge difference in who lived and died at the end, and that is something she needs to deal with and overcome.”
Kur stared at her in mute shock.
“As for you, your problem lies elsewhere,” she continued. “Yes, you feel extremely guilty for leaving your parents and workers… And there’s something there about your dad that is not healthy at all, but that’s for another day to deal with… But the problem holding you back right now is that you’re scared of putting yourself out there again and be denied and fail again, isn’t it? You are scared to find that you are just that same, powerless, management brat, who tried to make a difference and was shut down by his superiors.”
Kur looked away from her burning stare. Away from the truth piercing him from her purple eyes.
“But where are they now, Kur? Uh? And where are you now?” she asked him. “And does your future, and your party need you now, or not, Kur? What happens if someone leads your party to their deaths? Will you stop them then, or will you just follow along? Afraid of the confrontation, the responsibility of stepping up, and the possibility of failure and of being told no?”
She placed something heavily upon the table, startling him, and then pushed it towards him, scratching it across the metal surface.
“Take it. That scepter of yours is useless anyways, and only serves to distract you with the idea that you can fight melee when you can’t, and it is not your path.”
He stared down at the object she had left on the table, and reached a tentative hand to it.
“That is a seal of authority. It’s basically a three-fingered ring that will boost your buffs and debuffs,” she explained. “It is the perfect weapon for one such as yourself, who commands and influences the scales of battle away from the frontlines and, when you get through your issues, it will assist you in commanding every aspect of life as well. Influence, after all, is not limited to combat…”
Kur passed three fingers through the hops in the ring and stared at it. His new weapon was made of some sort of bronze like metal, that was a bit more yellowy than his gear and UI color, and it gleamed faintly in the lights of Cal’s office.
-[ Apprentice Seal of Authority
Rare
(Aurium)
Level 1
Apprentice seal of authority, made of aurium rare materials infused with authority related auras.
The seal of authority commands respect and obedience. Those who wear it must be worthy of wielding it.
Stats
● Worthiness: 0 - 10%
Grants a bonus to buff and debuff skills based on the leadership capabilities of the wearer.
● Pathways
Pathways have been built into this weapon. 2 - 8% bonus to aura skills. ]-
“This-this seal is rare!” Kur cried out in shock.
“It is… I made the case for you that this was the right weapon for you,” Instructor Cal said. “It was expensive, and if you prove me wrong, the cost of it will come out of my own salary.”
Kur stared at her in horror. “But…”
“But nothing, Kur!” she snapped. “You were made to feel small and useless, and like your opinions didn’t matter. And they didn’t! But that was down there. Here, you are just hampering yourself and your party by cowering away from your affinity and its potential!”
She slapped the top of the table.
“In life you will be told no! You will be denied! You will fail! You are not a manager brat anymore, with authority handed down to you by your parents! And unless you are ready to face that, and to push through it, you are never going to make your path work! Influence paths are powered by influence, Kur, so show me that you can make it work. Or you’ll risk losing what is a great affinity, well suited for you, let me add, and getting something a lot less great instead,” she said, eyes blazing. “And take this too.”
She dropped a buckler atop the table, and Kur took it mutely, not bothering to check its stats.
Cal suddenly sagged and sighed.
“Look, Kur. I don’t like having to be a bitch, but sometimes I have to be one,” she said. “I hate to see you doing this to yourself, kid. You really are breaking my heart here, you understand? So dig deep, reach down, and figure out why this is your affinity in the first place… And then be brave enough to go for it! Heleonora knows, this is not just about you… With the stuff that is coming for you guys, there might come a time when your party needs you to step up, or you will all die, Kur!”
She groaned. “Enough. Think about what I said. Think about what you want to do.”
Cal shook her head, and motioned towards the door, and Kur got up to leave.
“Thank you, instructor.”
She sighed.
“Don't use your words to thank me. Use your actions,” she told him, looking up at him. “Until you move past this, you will not progress, Kur. Neither to unlock your new class, in your path, or your life. Do you get that?”
Kur nodded.
“Then show me you do, Kur. Or else, this is not the apprenticeship for you… Nor are you the right leader for that party either.”
Kur stepped out of her office without another word.
Comments
Lucas Onderwater
Hahaha! I have a feeling you're going to enjoy Kur's full arc across the series XD
Eric Andersen
As Kur's number one fan I can say with full confidence that this heathen has absolutely no clue what she is talking about. Our Great and Glorious Leader Kur is obviously just biding his time, waiting for the right moment to strike and win over all the favor in one fell swoop! XD
Lucas Onderwater
Kur's affinity? It's about making a difference, manifesting through influence. He unlocked it already on their first trip to the affinity assessor, when they first joined the ship. But here it seems that Kur is having some issues taking his path to the next level, which effectively seems to require him to gain more influence/exert it over more people, and take a wider leadership role that will push him to go beyond just the party... Does this help? :)
CentaureHeart
Do we know his affinity or are they talking about it like he's close to unlocking it?
