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A Saga of Tanya the Chansey: 25
🕑 Added 2025-07-03 07:13:32 +0000 UTCTanya picks a fleck of pokechow from a paper cup reminiscent of a medicine cup and pops it in her mouth.
Immediately the innocuous looking chip of vaguely orange food explodes with flavor on her tongue, a barrage of sweet and savory that, once the moisture in her mouth saturates the fleck, gains a texture and undernote reminiscent of fried tofu.
Swallowing, she can feel the singular kibble as it hits her stomach, making a dent in her prodigious hunger all on its own.
Ever since evolution there has rarely been a point that she’s not been hungry, a side effect of the post evolution growth period that has her body already puffing up like an overstuffed toy, the side effects of evolution having her pack on more mass even as that fat rapidly loses density toward her mature state.
The ‘mon grabs a chip from another cup, the second of the two finalists in the process of elimination choosing a flavor from the seven the pokemart had available.
Tossing this one back she’s assaulted with a taste like she’s eating ten caramel apples at once. Overwhelmingly sweet to the point it should be unpalatable, but instead Tanya finds the taste to be both addicting and dissonant. Simply by fact her taste buds and brain are telling her that this is one of the most delicious things she’s ever eaten, yet contrasted with her own memories saying otherwise.
She swallows, then looks between the two cups, reaches for one, then back to the other.
She can't decide.
Tanya stares at the cups, then glances at the corresponding bags where they sit on the shelf in front of her, and considers the price per pound.
She could buy both of them…
Picking up the overwhelmingly sweet bag –aptly named ‘sweet tooth’– the ‘mon considers the food as she’s reminded that while she has money, it’s in illiquid assets, so for now her purchasing power is limited by Amelia’s liquidity.
Looking over at her partner as she talks to a store clerk at the front counter, Tanya only has to look at the back of her head for a second before Amelia seems to sense her partner’s attention and looks back, excuses herself, and walks over to her partner.
“Made your decision?” She asks, looking at the bag in Tanya’s arms.
The ‘mon shakes her head.
“Not quite, what’s the status of our finances? We broke down your savings a few days ago, but I know you had to spend a good portion of it and I’d like to have a better idea of where we stand before coming to a decision.”
Amelia tilts her head and squints slightly.
“...money?” She half asks, then continues almost immediately after her presumed guess. “Dont worry about that, I have more than enough for anything we’ll need to get to Mauville, and the bounty for beating Gym Leader Wattson’s badge challenge is designed to offset that cost.” She says absentmindedly, considering the graphic of a smiling snorlax on the front. “We need to stock up on this anyways, the only reason this store has it is because of the hospital’s Gastroenterology wing. Everywhere else we’d only have a chance in a big city or by mail order.”
Tanya hums, looks back down at her two options, and gestures at them both.
“Then I prefer these two flavors.” She says, picking up a bag of the other flavor in her other arm, then offering it to Amelia as she reaches out to grab it.
Turning over the bag in her hands, the trainer glances at the price tag of the pokecow and does a slight double take.
“...Maybe we’ll need to battle some other trainers for a little spending money…” She mutters with a wince.
Tanya flips over her own bag and glances over the preparation instructions for the food’s intended species. Apparently it’s supposed to be added to the ‘roughage’ of a snorelax’s meal as a nutritional and calorie supplement.
The former soldier snorts at the vague nature of the directions, because roughage –according to the bag– seems to be about anything that was, at some point, a plant.
Glancing at the two sampler cups she’d been given by the cashier, the ‘mon tosses back both cups and quickly swallows them down, experiencing the pleasantly refreshing feeling of not being hungry for the first time in days after the kibbles hit her stomach.
Stacking the cups, she grips them in psychic energy and uses a simple formula to crush the paper to the size of a pea and tosses the result into the garbage can across the room, then turns to her partner.
“I was gifted some illiquid assets, if money becomes a significant issue I can–” She starts, but cuts herself off with a baffled splutter as she looks at the nutritional information.
Twenty three thousand calories per bag?!
Tanya snatches another bag from the shelf and double checks the nutritional information on the new bag to ensure there wasn't a misprint somewhere.
Apparently not?
Tanya’s own research into the biology of specific ‘mon didn't go beyond common local species to the region, snorlax being a sinnoh native species means it’s well outside of her area of research.
Looking back at the instructions, she ensures that it seriously intends for a ‘mon to eat this many calories in a single sitting and finds no evidence against the absurd conclusion.
Then she does some mental math on how much she had to have eaten just now, glancing down at her increasingly puffy stomach with a considering stare as it remains satisfied for the first time in days.
She’d already been eating well above her species recommended caloric intake, but this is suggesting she’s not gone far enough.
Ameilia giggles as she gently takes the other bag of pokechow from Tanya’s grip.
“I once saw this whole documentary on the snorlax digestive system, it’s… something.” She says, taking a step backward toward the counter. “You need anything else?”
Tanya shakes her head as she follows behind, watching as her partner puts two bags of pokechow, roughly the same size as a medium bag of cat food, on the counter. Whenupon the cashier rings up forty six thousand calories of food in two beeps and ten seconds.
Stuffing the new provisions into the little remaining space in Tanya’s bag, the two exit the store and the ‘mon follows her partner’s clear experience with the town. Exiting the commercial street of shops and restaurants and winding though small side alleys in a vaguely northeastern direction before reaching the edge of town.
Once again, Tanya looks at the strange imaginary line that seems to be drawn around the settlement, switching from a fully urbanized –if a little small– town to almost completely untouched wilderness.
Looking down as they come to a stop at the edge of the dividing line, she looks down at the strange place where the paved road immediately gives way to packed dirt.
Amelia looks out at the sight as well, squints, then unfolds her map, taps a point, and traces her finger along a line.
“This is the access trail to route 111, we should be getting on the route proper in half an hour if we make good time.” She says, half folding her map as she steps off the asphalt and into the dirt with Tanya walking beside.
Moving down the access trail, the echoing murmur of voices on concrete and the rumble of civilization slowly fade from earshot as they move further and further away.
Until they walk around a bend in the trail and even that the barely audible sound fades to silence, the only sound being the wind blowing though the leaves of the forest that surrounds them and twin footscuffs of the pair walking down the well traveled path.
High above, wispy cirrus clouds crisscross the sky like ripped cotton balls, the midday sun moderated by a steady breeze and the regular shade of an old growth tree leaning over the trail.
As the dirt path seems to wind aimlessly over hills and around large rain-smoothed rocks, the route occasionally straightens in a long enough stretch to be able to see past the treetops and catch a glimpse of the craggy swells of the chimney mountain range in the distance.
Somewhere behind them, and echoed off the distant mountainface ahead, a train’s horn gently rises from the everpresent rustle of windswept forest before falling off to silence again, the sound resonating with its own echo.
At the sound Tanya blinks a few times, abruptly trying to shake off the strange feeling that has risen up in the quiet and glances at her partner.
Amelia doesn't seem to notice her partner’s gaze, eyes idly drifting around the scenery before her.
After a moment, the ‘mon drops half a step back and does a full sweep around her for any threats. Finding none, she steps back up beside her partner and resolves to not lose focus like that again.
Continuing her walk with a more careful eye to her surroundings, Tanya determines she’d zoned out for roughly twenty minutes, as after only ten minutes of careful scanning of the surroundings the path widens slightly before joining a larger dirt road like a tributary stream to a river.
Their arrival seems to finally snap Amelia out of whatever state had gotten ahold of her as she gives a few rapid blinks at the sight of route 111.
“Oh… we’re here?” She hums, unfolding her map again and double checking to ensure there could be nowhere else. “That felt shorter than thirty minutes.” She says with a shrug.
Tanya looks around at the wide pathway, noting its near complete lack of people, a drastic departure from what little reading material she’d gotten ahold of on the topic.
“Awfully quiet.” She comments, looking up and down the trail again.
Amelia nods.
“Yea, we started a day late, and Jubili town is kinda the last stop before the real wilderness that separates us from Lilicove. So everyone’s headed toward Mauville and no one’s behind us.”
Tanya hums as she adjusts the straps of her pack slightly before unzipping the largest pocket and pulls out two rectangular items wrapped in wax paper.
“Matron made sandwiches if you want one?” She asks, offering one out.
Amelia quickly accepts the offer, double checking the map in her hands as she slowly unwraps the snack, muttering to herself.
“Ok… so if we’re standing at the access merger, and the mountains are in front of me, then we need to go– wha!?” She interrupts herself with a shout, spitting a mouthful of half chewed sandwich into the dirt.
The human stares down at the bite she’d taken into the bread, then down at her partner with an incredulous gaze.
“Chansey! This is pokechow!” She shouts, pointing at the sandwich as if it had wronged her.
Tanya finishes chewing and swallowing her bite to give herself time to think.
Dissecting the flavor on her tongue, she realizes there is pokechow in the mix, pureed and mixed with peanut butter with a layer of sliced bananas on top.
“Apologies, I didn't know.” She demeurs. “It's not going to kill you, but give it back if you don't want it.” She says, holding out an arm again.
Amelia’s eyes flick between the arm, the sandwich, and Tanya’s sandwich as the ‘mon takes another bite, before taking a long look at the sandwich again.
Then takes a second bite of her own.
“...It’s not bad, just didn't think I’d be eating pokemon food today.” She grumbles, before stowing her map again and pointing to the left. “We go this way!” She half shouts, half falling in the direction they need to go before catching herself and turning the half fall into a speedwalk with Tanya breaking into a light jog to catch up.
Continuing their journey, the duo fall into another silence as the sun drifts across the sky and the first hour of walking smoothly flows into the next, then a third.
As they walk the faint wisps of clouds are joined by a smattering of much lower puffs of cumulus, the flat-bottomed balls of moisture creating parallax on the sky as they’re blown in from the ocean and the hottest part of the day concludes without fanfare.
But just before the sun begins to make its way toward the horizon in earnest, Tanya hears the distinct sound of another pair of footsteps crunching through the undergrowth somewhere ahead.
Immediately the ‘mon taps the leg of her partner to get her attention, pulling her to a stop as Tanya scans the treeline in the direction she can hear the noises.
“Wha–” Amelia starts, but is quickly interrupted
“Shhh.” She hisses, pointing in the direction of the sounds. “Unknown, one o'clock.”
The trainer tilts her head slightly and strains her ears, eventually blinking in recognition of the noise as certainly another person.
“You’re right, good catch.” Amelia says at a normal speaking volume, before cupping her mouth and shouting into the forest. “Hey! The trail’s back this way!”
There’s a pause, the footsteps falling silent for a long moment.
“...Which way?” A male voice calls back.
She rolls her eyes and cups her mouth again, ignoring Tanya’s simmering glare.
“Over here!”
Another pause, then a hurried crashing that grows louder and louder until a male human about Amelia’s age comes into view as he approaches the packed dirt road.
“Thanks a bunch, you’re a lifesaver. I was just looking for this little river I found yesterday and– Amelia!?” The boy says, cutting himself off as he steps fully back on the packed dirt. “What are you doing here?”
Tanya blinks at the surprised recognition on the stranger’s face, then sees her partner’s expression growing increasingly embarrassed as she coughs into a fist.
“Heyyy Dexter, turns out I am going on a journey after all. Forgot to tell you… sorry…”
---
A/N VERY TIRED. I WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT REALIZING THAT I HADNT POSTED. GOODNIGHT THANK YOU WHOOPS SORRY!
ALSO. Things have been REAL chaotic for the last few chapters. So I really tried to capture the vibe of a long duo hiking trip. Hope you enjoy
Comments
eh dontlisten
You see. THIS is the kinda thing I love to read. No joke. Weird kinda pedantic stuff that bothers people like me. That and looking for spelling and grammar errors. But that doesn't happen often here unless I mess something up BIG TIME. To tell you the truth, I did some basic calculations using a few kinds of berries as a base, trying to figure out how calorically dense something can be without it seeming TOO insane. Then I gave up and lowballed it a little. Because I was completely out of my depth. Rest assured, I'll add a zero or two for the public release.
AlbusScitus
You may want to increase the calories in the pokechow. A 50lb bag of rice has over 80,000 calories. 23,000 is not nearly enough. Since it was used as a comparison, a 20lb bag of cat food will have around 35,000 calories.
Apostle_of_Tea
Love it
