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Soul's Requiem: B1 - 6. Walking Through Uncertainty
🕑 Added 2021-08-12 01:57:41 +0000 UTCNote: I might not be able to post a chapter next week in SR, depending on the time I have to write it. We'll play it by ear.
1: Clover Emberfield
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“Is Perfection found in oneself or in the service of others? I…don’t know anymore, Mom. We need Control…the Emberfields maintained peace and security through moderated Control… I need Control to save them from themselves. Is that…wrong?” - Clover Emberfield, The Lost Diaries, Vol. II.
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Clover smoothed out her gray dress and pulled her braid over her shoulder before resituating herself on the well-worn leather seat of Melissa’s truck. The interior was torn, and the exterior told a story of the battles it had seen; it was a stark reminder that she was not in the world she knew.
Melissa gauged her mood as she got in, allowing her to examine the town’s nightlife in silence—her old life flashed across her memories the more she had time to ponder everything she’d lost… her entire world had disappeared in an instant. It was so surreal to her; Hollow Veil looked like the videos of 3rd-world countries they used to show them in school.
Clover’s gaze shifted from the dim overhead lamps—half of which weren’t operational—to the weeds growing out of the broad sidewalks and narrow roads. Her mother’s face came to mind as the wind shifted her hair, staring blankly at the ruined town.
Seeing this… What would Mom say about me now? I have all these abilities, and it felt so empowering at first—this natural energy flowing through my veins—but really… what would my family think about the state of the world… about me? Am I even human anymore?
A small smile lifted her lips upon seeing a woman in her forties, watching several kids playing some kind of card game in a small streetside shopping area, which was a bit weird for 3 a.m., but maybe they couldn’t sleep due to the recent attacks. It made her wonder what Leona would be like now; she’d be nearly seventeen now, which felt weird.
The place seemed to have been turned into a public gathering place, taking her back to discussions she’d had with her mother. The boys and girls had grins on their faces, laughing while the woman happily made food on an old grill.
Upon seeing their car, the woman swiftly motioned for them to get inside an enclosed area before drawing a large, dirty blanket to block the street; clearly, some didn’t mind the hour. They were burning trash for fuel, yet appeared to be content enough with their lives.
Mom used to put on a lot of public events for the children… What was the last thing I said to her? My schedule for the week. Wow… the last I said to my mother was about my schedule…
The streets truly seemed sleepless, with at least one person always in sight; gray clothing appeared to be the staple for everyone. “Hmm… I don’t see many cars… Do most people walk?”
Melissa’s blue eyes passively glanced between several moving groups, wearing the same outfits as everyone else; however, a few had various little accessories, such as a worn belt, purse, or different shoes they’d probably salvaged from the old world.
“Do you see the rails on both sides of the road?”
“Mhm… Oh, I’ve seen commercials and online videos about old towns that still functioned off the proto-rail system… So, that’s how it is,” she whispered, fingers playing with a deep cut in the outside of the car door.
“Right,” Melissa nodded, pointing at a soft light further up the road as they traveled 20 KPH; it was a really slow pace, but it was meant to be more of a scenic experience from what she recalled from the ads Clover recalled.
“They use the electrical wires above us—the nearby hydroelectric dam powers it—droughts and attacks can shut down the whole grid, but there’s nothing much that can be done about that.”
“Hmm…” She watched the small tram pass at roughly 30 KPH; the rail car could only hold up to ten people, but there appeared to be a whole grid system that operated on set schedules, slowing at certain intervals for people to step off. “It seems so unreliable for a bustling populace, and operating at this hour?”
Melissa shrugged. “That’s just the world today—there are a lot of night workers, too—we use what we can. A lot of people are restless after the Great Void’s activity earlier, as well. We have to be understanding of their situation, so we try to have some leniency.”
“The state of this town, though…” Clover leaned against the door, tucking her lower lip under while letting the ambiance of the wind and surroundings pull her in.
There were stray animals like dogs and cats roaming in packs, children running around, and people digging through piles of trash in the alleyways, hoping for treasures. Her hollow eyes followed a small truck that had garbage bags in the back; it moved in the opposite direction, heading for the edge of town, and Clover looked for the words to convey her feelings.
“Hmm… Is the trash handled by the public?”
“Yeah, I know,” Melissa whispered. “It must be a culture shock, coming from Eastern Skydream—especially Emberfield—heh, the Flaming Capital of the East. I’ve heard really good things about your mother and aunt; your father married into the Emberfield line, right? Oh—is it okay to ask—I don’t want to pull up bad memories?!”
“Hmm-hmm. It’s fine, and yes, the Emberfields had the tradition of keeping the family name in both sexes. It really was beautiful…” Clover replied, fidgeting with the ends of her braid as they turned. “My family worked hard to maintain it. Hmm. Hollow Veil seemed to be well-off for a Southwestern rural town… probably spurred by Sunset before the Great Void pulled most of it in.”
“Sunset?” Melissa mumbled, looking up to see the looming sphere in the purplish heavens, taking up much of the sky. “Is that what it was called? People normally call it Sunny City.”
“Incredible,” Clover mumbled, resting the back of her hand against her cheek. “Fifteen years and the real name is already muddied in history; as far as I’m aware, Sunny City was a derogatory term those in Western Skydream gave the new city—people weren’t happy about it stealing businesses from Bloom City.”
“Heh-he-he, interesting,” Melissa gave her a soft look, “you know more about this City-State’s history than most, I’d say—more than me, at least—of course, you were a High Noble… I was born in Firefly… Yeah, I know, a lot less freedom there, but yeah. I only learned about the major cities when I was spat out by the Void.”
Clover’s lips pulled in while shaking her head, studying the buildings of Hollow Veil; some apartment complexes were as tall as fourteen stories, yet they showed signs of severe decline, with several of the top floors utterly unusable. Still, some showed the faint glow of what were likely makeshift barrel fires by the smoke leaking out of pipe vents hollowed out of windows from occupants.
“Broken glass, plastic taped over windows, cracked concrete, and weeds taking over the town… the trash… Is this typical of most areas?”
Melissa sighed. “I’m afraid it is, but we try to keep things as sanitary as we can, although major cities are very nice and maintained. Unfortunately, this is one of the few rural towns left in all of West Skydream; after Inferno started coming back things got worse—the sudden increase in transevil from the Deadlands has spiked recently, too, but… it hasn’t been half a day since you woke up—you haven’t even recovered.”
“I know. It’s just a lot to take in,” Clover whispered. “Hmm…”
They were beginning to enter a more populated zone, the damage of the buildings and streets showing signs of minor repair efforts; barriers were seen, blocking car access, but it was quickly moved aside by soldiers once they recognized Melissa, saluting the vehicle.
Melissa waved as they passed and pointed to a few areas. “This is the main business area of Hollow Veil—the heart of the town—prime real estate, and that’s the orphanage,” she said, pointing at a large school building that appeared to have been renovated.
Working her way up to her bigger questions, Clover eyed the gated area; few lights were on around the site since it was the middle of the night. “I’ve heard a little about people hating orphans because of some initiative… Is that true?”
A long puff of air passed through the woman’s cheeks as she pulled her blonde hair to the side. “Ahem… Was it Lily that told you about that?”
She slowly shook her head, gaze following an 8-year-old girl holding her mother’s hand on the sidewalk.
“No… don’t get me wrong, Melissa, Lily is wonderful and appears to be quite mature. She may be lacking in some social skills, yet she is very considerate toward my situation, which, granted, is likely a product of her training and natural temperament. I do like the awkward vibe she has that lightens my mood.”
Melissa reached down to a small compartment and pulled out a toothpick, popping it into her mouth to play with it. “Hmm… want one? Pretty rare stuff; I usually have to make my own!”
“No, thanks.”
“So… I’m sensing a ‘but’ somewhere in there. Is something bothering you?”
A rueful smile moved Clover’s eyes. “With everything I’ve been dumped into? Undoubtedly. With Lily? She may be trained to deal with those that come out of the Voids, and she is performing excellently, by my standards, but… you are right. I suppose it’s the difference between ‘knowing’ what to do in a situation versus ‘understanding’ it.”
“Huh…” Melissa’s tongue flicked her toothpick for a moment before nodding. “There are things you’re uncomfortable speaking to Lily about because she’s not a spirit user?”
“I… suppose… It’s hard to put into words,” she replied, vision absently sliding between the late-night open businesses and fixating on a prominent structure with a sign that read World’s End Bank. “I will say that some things I have heard are making me realize the importance of your warning… rushing things will overwhelm me.”
Melissa turned down another street, moving to the northeast area of the town at their slow pace, passing tents with the SPU symbol across them; Clover guessed they housed refugees, or were for treating those with illnesses and injuries.
“Ah-heh-he, you were confidence incarnate when you first woke up; to be honest, I really admired how bold you were… Hmm. Something’s really upset you since you left the control room.” Her expression brightened. “If you need time to figure out how to ask me, then we can talk about whatever you want! Orphans, huh?”
Clover shook her head. “I just don’t understand the vitriol I’ve seen in people’s eyes when they look at Lily… It’s become fairly evident she has no one, and something happened to her brother, who was a spirit user, too…”
The golden-haired woman’s tightening lips caused Clover to pause for a moment; clearly, this was a sensitive topic for her.
Clover released a sad sigh, reflecting on the lamps illuminating the streets. “I see…. Judging by your reaction, in conjunction with what I’ve heard from you and others, something significant happened to spirit users in the past five years… I don’t expect a straight answer at this time—I have enough to think about—but it did seem to heavily impact Lily.”
Melissa released the breath that was frozen in her lungs with a short nod. “Yes… You are very observant, Clover—way different than most 17-year-olds I’ve known. You are right… something did happen, and it’s… a very touchy subject that sours any conversation. Umm… I’d rather go into the orphan situation—can we tackle that?” she asked, glancing over at her with a forced smile.
“That’s acceptable,” Clover said. “It might take my thoughts away from what I’ve lost.”
“Right… You’re actually lucky to remember your past. Usually, those that have Spirit Armaments tend to have lost all memory of their time in the Void and before the invasion.”
“Hmm… you don’t say… I suppose ‘lucky’ could be subjective,” she mumbled, reflecting on how she discovered her brother and sister-in-law. “Go on.”
Melissa’s gaze fell a little. “Sorry, Clover… I didn’t mean to stir up bad memories. Umm, there were a lot of orphans at the start of the Great Rassi War… most died when a major city to the east of here fell.
“Those that survived were sent here, and a lot of people were bitter about supporting them. They got preferential selection for job opportunities to help them to become independent as soon as they could, but that’s a position someone else could have filled, and they were naturally resentful about that.”
Clover crossed her legs and pulled her dress down a bit. “More or less what I thought. What is the operator field like?”
“Pfft! Rough,” Melissa giggled. “Since a dedicated operator is for Class-3 spirit users or above, and due to their rarity, the list is very long.”
She brushed back her bangs with a sad smile, looking at two patrolling soldiers who waved as they passed. “Hmm… the intermediate jobs you can take while awaiting your position don’t pay well. It’s a specialized field, after all, and fairly flooded—a subset of the paramilitary market—it’s normally quite an expensive program, too.”
Letting the information sink in, Clover gazed up at the Great Void as it came into view between buildings. What must have driven her to go so far?
Thinking about the time investment, she asked, “How long does the program take?”
“Six years.”
“Remarkable, and Lily’s only seventeen?” Clover whispered, giving her a questioning look.
Melissa sucked on her toothpick. “Mhm… the general actually consulted me on putting her on your case. She has top marks, for sure… the top .4% in academics, and began at the age of ten, idolizing her older brother… Lily’s the youngest operator to graduate the course, which did put a target on her back, much less her having special benefits that went along with it.”
Clover nodded. “I can see why.”
“Mhm… It’s sad but understandable. Is that everything?”
“No… I’ve… I’ve had no inclination to eat or drink… much less look at any boys, which was something that I found myself often doing while at school.”
A hiss passed through Melissa’s teeth. “Ah… Mm-hm-hm-hmm… Yes, spirit user bodies are… very different, depending on how strong you are. I can go months without eating and weeks without drinking as a Class-2.”
“How?” Clover cleared her throat, rubbing her elbow as it tingled with discomfort. “That doesn’t make sense. It feels… unnatural to not want any of that.”
“Eh… you get used to it quickly, but… not several hours ‘quickly,’ ” she chuckled, running her fingers through her hair. “Umm… usually, most spirit users first start to notice that a few days after coming back. You’re really jumping in the deep end…
“And sex… gah! Umm, yeah… Can we? Sure. In fact, normal people, well… haaa, we’re kind of seen as an object by a lot of people, in a, uh, lot of ways… men and women—eh, let’s just say we’re fetishized.”
Clover shook her head, realizing she was entering that sphere of being fetishized; of course, there was somewhat of a group like that back when she was first entering the public eye—it was stamped out quickly with the underage laws, though, and she doubted things were so organized in this world.
A groan rumbled through the woman’s throat. “Ugh… Yuck. The fanfiction about certain spirit users and the… the material that some people create is… disgusting to me, but it has a frightening market. People want to escape… I just don’t understand ‘how’ they choose to escape… maybe because I’m the subject of a lot of it—with friends I’ve respected and faced death with for years,” she mumbled, her nose twisting at the thought. “Local networks started popping up four years ago; the internet will survive…”
“That’s… not comforting.”
“Ahem,” she gave a forced laugh. “Anyway, umm… yes, it’s possible to love and have those feelings again, but much more challenging as a spirit user since we have… very different drives than ordinary humans. A lot of people don’t even see us as human anymore, and there’s the conspiracy crowd that thinks we’re imposters.”
“Really?”
“I mean, when you don’t have any memories and just show up out of a black hole… Yeah, it’s not hard to see why they’d think that—not to mention our very changed physiology,” she rolled her eyes, “but yes, most people don’t pay them any mind since we’re very, very self-sacrificing—heh, to the point some of us really should have counseling.”
“Hmm, and… children?” she mumbled so softly she wondered if Melissa could hear her.
The woman’s face instantly creased as she slowed the car and pulled to the side of the road to look at her. “Children… Who put your mind on that thought—was it Lily?”
Her response put an even greater hole in the cavity that was her heart; it highlighted the urge to consume everything and the other conflicting pulses within her breast to aid others.
“No… No, it was a few talkative girls when Lily was getting me supplies… I can guess the answer by your response,” Clover mumbled, fingers closing around her lower abdomen. “So, I’m… sterile now?”
Melissa resituated herself, arms crossing under her chest as she gave the middle seat a heated look. “Still, that was a mistake on Lily’s part—she should have bought you with her…
“Sterile has very… negative connotations, Clover. You may be feeling broken, but… you’re not, okay?” she whispered, scooting over a bit to hold her hand. “Men and women that come back just… scientists can’t even tell us why it happened—we just don’t reproduce.”
“Our eggs?” Clover asked, wanting to cry, but she couldn’t for some reason, further sending her into a spiral.
“How to put this… Gone,” she winced. “Men don’t produce sperm, and women’s eggs are gone when they exit the Voids… There have been attempts to fertilize eggs and implant them in spirit user wombs—on their request, of course, but… the eggs just die for some reason… It just doesn’t work.”
Melissa squeezed her hand before unbuckling her seatbelt and sliding over to hug her. “You’re not alone, Clover.”
Taking a deep breath, Clover blinked a few times, trying to cry, yet being unable to find the liquid before breathing out a huge sigh. “I-I…. Huu-haaa. Thank you, Melissa… I just… It wasn’t something I could ask Lily.”
“I understand.” Melissa’s hot breath pressed against her ear as her grip tightened; it was stronger than any she’d felt so far. “I know you want this to be a nightmare, Clover… I wish it was, too, but…”
“It’s not… I know,” she whispered, hugging her back, but she felt hollow inside, and she didn’t want to. “Is… is it natural to want to look for transevil and kill them? That’s all I want right now… Is that normal? To want to feed on them… To feel something?”
Melissa’s arms tightened for a moment before pulling back, tears sliding down her cheeks as she tried to put thoughts into words.
“…Ahem… I… I can’t say because I’m a Class-2 spirit user. Those with Spirit Armaments tend to be more aggressive toward transevil and rassi than those that don’t. Umm… eventually, you’ll meet Stefan Duke, the spirit ruler of the West. He has a Spirit Armament, too, but he has to stay in Bloom City to handle the Inferno Faction.”
“Right,” Clover took a deep breath and pulled back with a thankful smile, “I’m ‘unique’ even for a spirit user. So… you were going to show me something about my clothes… Does everyone in the SPU have magical clothes?” she asked with a laugh, trying to ease the depressing vibes.
Pulling back to her seat, Melissa put her seatbelt back on. “Hmm… I know it feels like you’re being torn apart inside… Just know I’ll have your back. Umm, with your clothing issue? Heh, well, no, actually…”
A sad, reminiscent grin lifted her cheeks. “I knew someone that did, though—it’s very infrequent… Right, let’s get this field trip over with so you can go back and get your clothes from Lily! The girl’s probably exhausted, and, as you’ve mentioned, unlike us, she still has to eat and drink. And, heh, Father Sleep seems scared of spirit users, too!”
“There is that,” Clover groaned, rubbing her temple. “I can pass out but not sleep, huh?”
“Only if your SF drops too low. From what we’ve learned, spirit users use SF for everything, and we naturally generate it, but we’ve got a set battery limit if our output is too high.”
“The Classes?”
Melissa pulled them out of park while looking around to not hit anyone. “Yeah… You’re still recovering from your trip out of the Void, and I’m pretty sure you’re at least a Class-3 after that test—although some things haven’t surfaced yet—in time, I think they should, and Class-4 seems likely, too, once you stabilize.”
“How long did it take you?” The tinted moon poked through the sky above them, drawing Clover’s gaze. “Uh, Melissa… What happened to the moon?”
“Eh-he-he-he… Well, there’s apparently some big transevil—Black Abyss-Class, or something; basically beyond classifying—I don’t know. You can see the green splotch on part of it if the sun shines on the right spot. Most of the skies are filled with transevil around the world—satellites are terrible to get up, or so I’m told—but the transevil tend to keep to their own territory up there… Hey, I just kill them and heal people,” she shrugged.
“Insane…”
“You’re telling me!” Melissa laughed. “We’re just lucky nothing above Class-5 has really struck us in the last five years—Wilfred has been fighting non-stop for the past twelve years… I can’t imagine how many friends he’s lost.”
Clover’s hands pressed against her lap. I hadn’t considered that… How many did she lose rescuing me? Was I even strong enough to face Isngneal when I came out? No, which is why that ghost child had to intervene. I’m strong… I know I am… it’s in every fiber of my body… yet, I also feel so fractured. Combat is so easy… this life, though… It’s terrifying.
Finally, a tear slid down her cheek, mind comforted that she had at least one to shed.
Wiping it away, she blew out a long breath, drawing Melissa’s focus. “Melissa, thank you… I’m not sure about the SPU itself, but those who have taken my hand to help me through this transition… I won’t forget it.”
Melissa’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I’m happy to help—really, I am… sometimes just helping one person in a day can put everything into focus and help me get through the night. Oh… we’re just about there,” she said, trying to calm her hot face. “Wow, I didn’t quite expect these emotions… It feels good, though.”
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Comments
SME
Oh I forgot to open it up from last time! Thanks for letting me know!
Fraxx
chapter 5 is locked.
Martynas Samsonas
A great way to find out if clover is spirit ruler class or above. Just drink copious amounts of alcohol that normally would kill an elephant, and if she does not get drunk shes at least a spirit ruler :D.
