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Undying Empire: B1 — 32. The Light In A Child

🕑 Added 2020-04-25 09:01:44 +0000 UTC

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SME

- Garu is the condition because, without him, she wouldn't be able to communicate with the Ri'bot ... unless the Quin can speak Ri'bot. In Elinor's eyes, though, he's important because that's how she communicates with the Ri'bot (by having a Ri'bot minion). Elinor's mother is French xD she'd grow up hearing phrases like that from her mother. Thank you for the suggestions. I'm just about to update it. ^_^7

Denis Dube

Interesting consolidation chapter. Somehow my favorite bit was learning that Tiffany is quite the cook even if she's no "royal cook". Also, completely forgot who Valdar is. I'm going to need to make a cheatsheet of character names at some point. Suggestions: * condition?, "her trusty Ri’bot communication condition" * already had, "but Tiffany was already a flurry of plans" * gauged, "thoroughly gaged the city’s defenses" * designed, "and it was redesigned to follow a specific pathway" * came, "Edmon had pointed out and come back with" * I think the second half of this sentence could be stronger. Maybe: "he will promise her freedom from slavery". "A desperate woman will do stupid things, and if he can offer her freedom from slavery." * Context lacking for this sentence or at least this reader was confused: "Iris’ regal voice made Elinor want to practice speaking herself; it felt so natural coming from the queen." * The first 2/3's talks about humans, then it jumps to Ri'bot casualities. Very confusing: "She told me that she tried to be as kind as she could to the humans, and they used the least lethal means they could employ, but still lost many of her warriors." * recount is technically maybe legal here, but it's very uncommon to use it this way in English (works way better in French). I'd suggest rewording: "Let’s see how the humans give the recount."


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