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2 - Micchi and the Orcs of the Rolling Plains
🕑 Added 2020-06-24 02:28:20 +0000 UTCIt took a whole hour to find the boar, but even with its fat corpse in my lap, I have no idea how to cook it. With my stomach growling more frequently and daylight quickly running out, I'm pretty much stuck in the middle of the forest until morning.
"First things first, I need a fire. How the hell do I start one?"
I gather a bunch of kindling and lay larger branches on top of the pile. If I remember right, the survival shows I used to watch said that rubbing sticks together worked. I try that a couple of times, but instead of starting a fire, I just break most of the branches into pieces of bark.
"Fuck!"
In a moment of rage, I smash Sacchan on top of the pile of kindling, bursting it into flames.
"Whoa— Sacchan?!" I let go of the bat to avoid the fire, but I don't seem to have been burned. The entire shaft of the bat is ignited. Leaves and twigs close enough to it catch fire.
"Crap. Crap. Crap!"
I start tossing a bunch of debris onto Sacchan but it's still not being put out. Instead, covered in dirt and kindling, it creates an even bigger fire. Left with no other option, I grab the bat and the fire snuffs out on its own. The handle is surprisingly cool to the touch, if not a little filthy.
"Not sure how you did that, but at least you got a fire going."
Since arriving… wherever the hell this place is, my strength appears to have grown several folds. I'm able to carry the boar with tease despite it being twice my size and ten times my weight.
I manage to find a branch large enough to spear the boar from its mouth down to its ass. Plunging two additional branches into the ground and piling rocks to keep them steady, I'm able to prop the boar over the campfire to roast it.
The legs are the first to be done. This is my first time cooking, and in the most barbaric way possible. But I'm so hungry, I don't even care anymore. I take as large a bite as possible into the boar leg. To my surprise, tender and smokey juices send my taste buds into heaven.
"Mmmm! Even without salt and pepper this boar can still taste good! Ahh, that hit the spot."
Now that I don't have to worry about starving and going cold…
I pick up Sacchan and give it a good few swings. The fire that burst from it was spontaneous. Or was it? I try hitting the ground, smacking a tree, and even tossing it around, but I can't get the same result. It's hopeless.
I still need to figure out where I am. This doesn't look like Japan let alone Earth. Did I get sent to another world?
I remember fighting with Yui… then something falling down on us.
That bitch. If she had just accepted defeat, this wouldn't have happened. Just thinking about her fills with me so much rage that I—
The bat ignites once again. I almost let it drop, but regain my composure and catch it before it hits the ground.
"Well, shit. Looks like thinking about that bitch is good for something."
It doesn't seem like the fire hurts me or the bat. When it comes in contact with anything else they burn like normal.
By now it's pitch dark out except for the small area of light around the campfire. It's neither cold nor hot here. I half expected a landscape like this to be freezing cold at night, but the mild humidity is sort of comfortable. It doesn't take long before exhaustion sets, and coupled with a full belly, I fall right to sleep.
***
"Nnngh…"
I wake up feeling like shit. It's hard to breathe, and my arms and legs feel weightless. My stomach hurts, and the only thing I can think of is the boar I ate. But I see the real reason as soon as I open my eyes. I'm being carried under a green arm built like a professional weightlifter in one of those strongman competitions.
The big man— if he can be called that— isn't the only one. A whole group of them, each carrying a person in their arms, are taking us to who knows where. It looks like we're going further up the hills because the floating mountains I saw earlier are much closer this time.
I could care less where we're going though. Right now, I just want to know where my goddamn bat is.
"Hey," I try to get my captor's attention. "Hulk's shittier younger brother, you hear me?"
It looks down at me and bellows a laugh between two tusks. "Relax, little girlie. Soon you be at new home serving us as slaves."
"I don't care about that. Where the fuck is my bat? Hey!"
These are orcs, right? Big and green, with pointy teeth. I hear sobbing from the other side of the orc. It's a woman, maybe slightly older than me. She's weeping into her hands, crying for her family.
"Lady, you know where they're taking us?"
Tear-stained eyes look up at me. "D-Don't you know? They're the Rolling Plains orc tribe… they—"
"Both of you, pipe down!" The orc shakes the both of us, almost making my boar dinner come back up.
"Urk… you sorry sack of dogshit…"
We're eventually brought to what appears to be their encampment. Dozens of large tents spread out over the flattened field, the smell of pigshit permeates the air and assaults my nose. We pass by a group of women in tattered clothes and chains around their necks. There are a whole lot more orcs, and all of them are banging their weapons together, hollering at our arrival.
Me and the other women are thrown to the dirt. A much larger and intimidating orc towers over us. Bones are woven into the braids of his beard and hair, a mismatch of armor adorns his bulky body.
The other orcs behind lower their head in reverence.
So this is their leader.
The leader-orc grabs the woman next to me and licks her face. "Hehe. Delicious. This is a good haul—"
"No more playing around," I say, getting to my feet. "Where the fuck is my damn bat?"
The orcs and their leader erupt into laughter. He tosses the woman aside and sidles up to me. Then gestures to one of the orcs forward who deposits my bat into his grimy, oversized hand.
"This little thing?" He waves it around like a toothpick. "Want to see mine?"
A human-sized club is dropped next to me. Dried blood caked along its length tells me it has seen a fair share of use.
"All other women scared. This one has spunk! Why you not scared, little girl?" He bears his fangs at me, but I'm more put off by his rancid breath.
"I know a little girl with pigtails and the prepubescent voice of a middle schooler scarier than you."
Somehow, that was enough to make the women and orcs laugh. But their amusement is cut short by the orc leader's bloodshot glare.
He snorts at me. "Big talk for a woman about to be pregnant with my seed."
"Once I'm done with you, the only thing you're going to impregnate is your own ass." I crack my knuckles and neck. "Wanna go, fuckface?"
"You challenge Bracca, Chieftain of Rolling Plains tribe? Stupid girl. How about I show you another club instead. Hehe."
"Hmph. You hear that, orcs? It seems your chieftain is scared of this little girl."
My taunt worked. He freezes in place, shoulders gone stiff with anger. Bracca turns around and has the audacity to throw my bat to my feet. As soon as I pick it up, Sacchan ignites with the intensity of an inferno. Bracca is momentarily put off but quickly shakes it off.
"Magic won't help you. I have the perfect slave collar for you after I'm done with you."
The orcs and human women back off to form a ring around us. Bracca comes so close I can almost see the aura of filth emanating from him. He lifts the club over his shoulders and grins at me as though I'm the prey.
Thud!
"You hear that," he says. "On third drum beat, we fight."
This dumbass is leaving himself wide open.
"Who the hell cares about waiting."
Thud!
"Huh—?"
I slam Sacchan against the side of his knee. Bracca loses grip of his club as he falls over clutching his scorched knee in agony. He scrambles to reach for his weapon and leaves his head wide open. The third beat of the drum is drowned out by the deafening crack of his skull.
The orc chieftain falls to the ground defeated.
"Alright," I say, stepping onto Bracca's limp body to get some height over the rest. "Who's next?"
