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Twitter Story: Luck of the Draw
🕑 Added 2021-09-02 22:56:54 +0000 UTCYou've gotta say: This is turning out to be a pretty good playdate. Your friends are on the floor, building the greatest city in the world, (or at least the nursery carpet)! All of you are on the floor, on your hands and knees, working your padded butts off.
Ginger is building the towers for the city out of blocks. You're laying down railroad tracks that you're going to pretend are regular roads. Roy is making citizens out of playdoh. Good stuff. All good things must come to an end though when you hear Mommy sniff the air.
"Uh oh," she says. "I think somebody's poopy!" You hold your breath. Is it you? You weren't paying attention. It might be you. If Mommy changes you, it'll throw off your rhythm and you know in your heart of hearts that you'll never finish your masterpiece!
You don't dare reach back and touch your bottom. That'd give it away. Smartly, you push yourself up and sit down. You can still look like you're playing while sitting down. Oh! Crap! Literally. Yup. It was you. Won't be long now. Soon it will all be over. Soon Mommy will-
"Gotcha!" Mommy pats Ginger's bottom. "I knew someone made a stinky! Come on little Lady." Mommy picks your blushing friend up and takes her to the changing table. Huh. So Ginger pooped, too. Neat. Maybe that will buy you some time.
Maybe Mommy will take a while to realize she's got two stinkers on her hand. Maybe Roy pooped, too and will give you more time. Hurriedly, you rush to connect the pieces of wooden tracks. Cityopolis needs its roads! Roy is busy smashing his play-doh people yelling "Oh no!"
Roy's got issues...
You scramble to find the right piece to finish. You hate it when you can't find the right piece to fit. There are a billion curvy pieces and no straight ones! Meanwhile, Mommy coos at Ginger "I bet that feels so much better! Who's a clean baby? You are!"
She's done changing Ginger? Already?! You thought grown-ups changed girls slower because they didn't have to worry about getting peed on! "There you go, darling!" Mommy puts Ginger back down on the floor and you watch in despair as your friend crawls over to a pile of shinies.
Cityopolis has just lost its finest architect. Mommy starts to walk back to her rocking chair. Yes! Good! Sit down Mommy! Get comfortable! Play Candy Crush or something! Your digging through pile of curved tracks to find the last straight piece slows.
Alas! Mommy doesn't go back to her chair.
She stops...
And sniffs...
PleasepickRoypleasepickRoypleasepickRoy!
"Oh nooooo!" Yes! You look up, expecting to see Roy being plucked off the ground. Nope. He's running somebody over with a train. Roy definitely has issues.
Strangely, Mommy's headed back towards Ginger.
Does the Grown-Up think she pooped again after just being changed? Sure, you've done it before but...
Focus! You have to focus! Must finish!
"Aha!" You say, holding the final piece aloft!
Two hands grab you by the hips. "Aha!" Mommy crows. "I knew there was another little stinker!"
Even through your onesie, the lump in the back of your diaper (not to mention the smell) must be obvious. "NOOO!" you scream. Now you'll never finish!
Mommy doesn't seem to care. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes!"
You say a silent goodbye to Cityopolis, the toy city that never was, knowing that the moment you're gone from it, it will cease to exist and only Roy will be left to tend to it. "Oh no!" You do not have hope for its future.
Mommy grabs you.
Lifts you up.
And puts you back down on the floor...?
"I wouldn't want to interrupt my baby's busy play!" She coos at you, her voice as sweet as honey. "So a floor change will have to do." Your delight is almost orgasmic as she pops open the onesie.
She goes for the tapes of your absolutely destroyed diaper! You crane your neck and see just how swollen and discolored your diaper is. Wow! You really did need a this! Mommy reaches for the wipes and your thumb starts to itch. Sucking on it would feel so good right about now.
No! Focus! While Mommy wipes you (and she needs a lot of wipes), you stretch your arms as far back as they will go. You can almost reach! You flinch and shake, as she gets to a particularly sensitive spot! Dang it! That and aiming upside down made you try and put the piece in backwards!
With the iron will of a toddler you stick out your tongue and suck on it, pretending it's a paci. It's not much, but it's enough to tune out Mommy singing the 'Tinkle Tinkle Little Star' song and ignore all the powder she's using on you.
Inch by inch closer and closer until....
"I did it!"
Mommy finishes taping and buttoning you back up. "You certainly did, baby. You certainly did." She gives your tummy a little tickle and you giggle. Then she takes the balled up diaper and throws it away.
She comes back one last time and checks Roy's diaper. "Just a little wet."
"Oh no!"
You flip yourself back over to your tummy and roll your eyes. Roy didn't even notice Mommy. Roy's got issues.
Crisis averted. Roads finished. Bottom nice and clean. All in a playdate's work.
"Hey Ginger!" you call out. "Wanna finish the tower?"
"Naw" she says. "Got tired of it. Wanna see which board book tastes best?"
"Do I?!" Eagerly, you forget Cityopolis ever existed and crawl over for your weekly meeting of your local book club.
(The End)
