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Drama Alert, Not A Story
🕑 Added 2022-06-01 03:17:53 +0000 UTCBecause the internet is vast and people talk...
Early yesterday and also today I was goofing around on Twitter (as ya do). Somebody (a couple somebody's actually) were basically doing a big ol' silly teasing thread. There's 4 people I can see involved and I'm mutuals with 3 of 'em.
"I'm not a baby", this.
"Yes you are", that.
Silly, brainless, goofy stuff. Happens all the time on Twitter.
Then in my scrolling I see "Maturosis".
Oh hell yeah! Somebody invoked my made up vocabulary word. Now I GOTTA pop my head in and say hi!
It's all over the top and very tongue and cheek. And I more or less stay "in character" while asking if I can join in on the silliness too. Permission is given, I go in, pop guns ablazin'. I'm not a switch, but I do a mean Amazon impression. So it's just circular logic teasing and the name of the game is "the person who has been designated as 'immature' cannot win". There is no such thing as a correct answer and everyone playing knows.
It was fun. GIFs and Frustration Emoji's abounded.
Then out of nowhere, this stranger pops into the thread and @'s the person who has consistently identified themselves as a Mommy-type. And they post up a picture of what is allegedly their very full diaper and declaring that they are a big boy cuz they used it, tee-hee. Tee-hee. I've never seen this person's face but that was definitely an unsolicited loaded diaper pic.
Sidebar: I'm married and in a monogamous relationship. My wife is my Mommy. She isn't active AT ALL in the online scene, in part because every time she pokes her head out some rando will ask her to change his diaper for him (It's always he/him). We've gone to cons and dungeon scenes and men have decided that because I call her "Mommy", they can call her "Mommy" too.
And I don't mean innocent like they don't know her name and so they call her "Mommy" as a substitute. (The English language has words like "Miss" and "Ma'am" for that.) I don't mean like they know I'm Pers and they don't know that she's Daisy so they accidentally call her "Pers's Mommy" or whatever. Most people don't know who I am or what I look like. They just see a woman carrying around a diaper bag who doesn't flinch at my crinkling self calling her "Mommy", and seem to think to themselves, "There's a lady who likes wipin' ass all over the place. Time to make my move!"
My wife is my best friend. My best friend doesn't like being objectified by complete strangers.
So yeah. I don't like it when Mommies and Daddies and Caregivers get treated less like people and more like kink dispensers.
It's something of a pet peeve of mine.
Back to the Action: I check profiles, and DM with the @'d person, just in case. This silly RP might just have gotten waaaaay too heavy for what I was prepared for. Nope. @'d person doesn't know this dude from Adam's housecat as the old saying goes.
So with permission from the @'d I speak up, break pretense, and tell them that this is highly inappropriate.
I get a frowny crying cat emoji and a second reply saying "Sowwy..."
Nope. That ain't gonna do it. I saw a group of people that I knew from twitter laughing it up, and I asked if I could join in before I did. This person whom nobody knows shows up and makes a bee-line for the one CG and shows off the ABDL equivalent of an unsolicited dick pic.
Not cool, and going to the trouble of typing in a lisp when someone is telling you that you're misbehaving isn't cute. Quite the opposite, actually.
So naw. That ain't cool and I say something to that effect.
Suddenly they're saying how it hurts so much that their "favorite writer" is yelling at them and how alone they are and how they were only trying to share and just guilty of "trying too hard."
Oooof.
Oooooooooooooooof.
I really appreciate y'all for your support and your comments week after week, month after month, and year after year. In so many ways y'all have made me a better writer than when I started on this platform.
But don't ever expect "you're my favorite writer" to have a good effect when I'm telling you that something you're doing is bothering me or my friends.
"I love your work," is a great opener if we meet in person or if you want to start a friendly conversation with me. But it's not gonna work as a counter argument when I tell you that you're acting like a jerk. ESPECIALLY if this is our first direct interaction.
I tell them that they've got a lot to learn, nobody owes them the time to teach them, and they're not gonna learn with that attitude.
It's a cheap manipulation tactic what they're doing: Playing the victim.
They double down and make excuses. Say "You have your reasons, I have mine. You can just be mad at me". Insist that I'm yelling at them.
I post a reminder about what the A stands for in ABDL. Then block them.
If it ended there, we would not be having this fireside chat, y'all.
Within half an hour I've got two separate PM's from people I'm pretty sure don't know each other. This fella is going around on discord and whining to anybody who will listen to him about how I was mean to him and yelled at him on Twitter. Conveniently he shuts up and gets sparse on details and now there are people who don't know me that are thinking that this is some kind of commissioner/artist tiff.
Guys?
Guys?
Am I ever sparse on details when it comes to describing a series of events? Like...this is kind of my THING, right?
Ugh. If I'm gonna make enemies or have people talk about me behind my back, I'd rather it be for any number of things that I actually did or said. I've got plenty of unflattering qualities to choose from. So I felt a desire to clear up the record.
I'm not telling you how to feel or react or what to do. I'm just telling you what happened.
Anyways, if you wanna go on twitter and dig through my tweets and replies @personalias84 you can probably find the whole exchange for yourself. The only thing that's been deleted is the original dip pic. The entire exchange is still there as far as I know at the time of this writing.
Warmest Regards,
Personalias
Comments
154Charlie
"I don't like it when Mommies and Daddies and Caregivers get treated less like people and more like kink dispensers". Yooo MOOOD. People are so disturbingly desperate to get their fetish fix with a CG/big that they just do not give a shit about decency. I hate seeing that stuff, it ain't cool. Honestly, it's because of dudes that make women uncomfortable af like that, that I doubt my own chances sometimes. I get paranoid of being lumped in with the overstepping types by simply asking how someone is doing. But alas it's the internet, creepy people dont give a shit they can continue to behave that way without risk. Damn shame really.
Well, I did qualify it with "as kindly as possible". Doing your "best not to use swear words" sounds like it fits the bill. :)
I'm not sure how "kind" I was. I did my best not to use swear words. I don't have time to coddle 20-something strangers.
I'm sure I'll be fine. It's the "telephone" effect that bothers me more than anything.
I can forgive Some messed up behavior...once...IF the person is repentant. But the fact that they took me yelling at them as a reason to change their opinion of me instead of their behavior is telling about their character.
This hits home for me. My wife/mommy also gets hit on a lot indirectly. Whenever I meet a new abdl and they find out that I have a CG wife they think it’s appropriate to immediately ask me if she can change their diapers or baby them. They haven’t even met her and they say this. It’s too bad because as inclusive as they abdl world is, I feel there are a lot of men that make women need to hide from the public sphere due to men being gross.
Pelo Dee
Well, I've only been interacting in the ABDL world for 2 years or so. I've had a few people trying to call me "mommy" from the get go and being much too forward despite not knowing me. But I've never had the luck of getting an unwarranted diaper/dick pick, that's what I was trying to say.
I hit enter a little too early, but I wanted to finish out that statement by saying that my lack of involvement in the community make what I do have all that much more precious. I love reading your work and have really appreciated our brief interactions. For those of us that don't really participate in the community events anymore, reading your stories and seeing others comment and enjoy them a long with you helps give us a little bit of a sense of community without the drama, so thank you for that. Please don't let this frustration overshadow the good you do for the rest of us.
I am very sorry that this was your experience as well , but you are definitely not alone here. I am 44 now, but I have been a part of the ABDL community since I was 18....and things like this are the reason that I don't really engage much anymore. They never really stopped, and the only way I was able to rid myself of the stress and the drama was to just not participate. Having a wife and mommy that doesn't participate in the community online only solidifies my decision....because SHE doesn't need that stress and irritation either of people who cannot and will not respect boundaries or her as a person.
TL;DR: I'm with you 100% on all this. All this fancy technology has been great for allowing people to more safely find people like themselves, but it has also made it too easy for people to evade accountability for their actions. I remember when I was in my teens / early 20's, that I was quite immature about everything. Too many hormones, too much excitement, and too little social experience. I'm sure I said and did many cringy, and/or inappropriate things. Looking back, I feel bad about the impact that had on others. I am also grateful to the people who set me straight. I'm glad that you took the time to let this person know what the proper etiquette is. I hope that even though they may have reacted immaturely to that information today, they can incorporate it into their behaviours in the future. I think we all need minor course corrections at regular intervals to become better people. I'm also really disappointed that people like your spouse have to experience what they do. It must be exhausting. It's human nature to covet something you want very much, especially when it's rare to find. I see this in many other areas of life, as well, not just in kink. (Though kink seems to be where it peaks, thanks to our biological wiring) I'm a realist, and know that this is something that we can't completely get rid of. I think the best we can do is what you did, which is to call out unacceptable behaviour as kindly as possible, and make it clear that it's not tolerated by the community. Over time, I think that will have a net positive outcome, even if it isn't perfect.
This is one thing that gets me about the ABDL community because it's far too common. Just because you're wearing a diaper and sucking on a dummy doesn't preclude you from being accountable. You're still the A in ABDL and trying to guilt trip others when they call you out on your inappropriate behavior is unacceptable. You don't deserve this kind of drama.
You have never experienced that type of thing before? Maybe I'm old(been in the community for 20 years going on 21), but what I heard he did is pretty much what ten percent of the community does whenever there's a "girl" or a "mommy" pop up... It's gotten to the point where women hide their gender/identity in this community because they don't want a pile of diaper and or dick pics showered upon them. I know what they deal with because I run a fetish/porn blog on Instagram and used to get a ton of random pictures of diapers to old men in dresses to dick pics until I started posting different looking women (they assumed I was a woman based on the pictures)... It's ridiculous how some of these guys act and it has ruined our community's image.
Pelo Dee
I understand that seeing "rejection" from a person you look up to would be devastating. But that guy was way out of line. I've had a few weird DMs but it never quite reached that level, and not on a public thread either...
Okay, I'mma level with ya. Drama Alert is a potentially good title for a chapter or story somewhere. I'd be a fool to throw it all away because someone wants to shove their diapered crotch onto my screen and play the telephone game.
I hear ya. I don't need that in my life. And honestly? If this individual had reacted with something like. "I'm very sorry, I clearly misread the situation, please forgive me." Things would have gone much differently. My reply wouldn't have been "It's okay", but it might have been "I forgive you." "Little" is not the same as "can't help it" or "not knowing better". And headspace is not an excuse. There are plenty of people on the playground of life that know how to behave and get along with each other, and there are others that refuse to learn and run up to games of duck duck goose and start licking faces. Being worse behaved does not make someone "cute" or "more innocent" or "littler". It makes them harder to deal with. But I feel I'm preaching to the choir here.
Now I’m waiting for “Drama Alert: A Story”.
I blocked them just in case, I don’t want to get anywhere near close to that kinda crap. We did have an above average number of mutuals, which might be a lil concerning. I hope they don’t really condone that behavior.
