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Turning Chapter 400
🕑 Added 2023-08-30 05:14:26 +0000 UTCChapter 400
‘...Ah.’
Yuder suddenly realized that the disappearing figure of Kishiar was not reality. The conversation they had just shared was a thing of the long-forgotten past.
An old dream.
With that realization, both the familiar sight of the dressing room and the figure of Kishiar vanished, leaving Yuder alone in darkness.
Staring into the unending darkness, Yuder looked at his hand to find that only a piece of paper Kishiar had handed him still remained. The coldness and anger, the unidentified emotions that Yuder of the past had felt, welled up inside his chest like a mirage, only to fade away weakly.
‘Yes. Back then, I... I took this out and showed it to Kishiar.’
Unlike some forgotten memories, this was one of the conversations that remained relatively vivid in his mind. However, although the conversation itself remained impactful, the emotions and thoughts he had felt that day had dimmed and blurred with time, making some parts feel strangely unfamiliar.
The never-formally-accused treason suspicion against Duke Peletta.
But at the time, couriers had been busily going back and forth to the Sun Palace beneath the surface. The Emperor of Katchian had not revealed any particular reaction, but he indirectly showed his caution and warning by keeping an eye on Peletta.
Yuder threw the paper, unable to understand the man who entered the Commander’s room over the wall with a calm face, whether he knew about it or not.
Had Duke Peletta Kishiar La Orr truly shut himself away in his estate with the intention of rebelling?
Were the ominous rumors secretly circulating the palace all true?
...Could he truly harbor the intent to rebel?
What Yuder probably wanted to confirm the most was the third question. In fact, when Yuder first heard the rumors about Kishiar's suspected rebellion, his immediate thought was, "What treason could there be from such a person?" Rebellion seemed ludicrous. The man was too frivolous, and everything about him seemed meaningless.
He had abandoned his handcrafted Cavalry without regret, shown no sadness at the death of his last blood relative. He escaped from Peletta because he had no gaming partners and jumped over the Cavalry's wall. Yuder could not fathom what he was living for.
Could someone who seemed to find no meaning in anything really harbor the intent to rebel? What would be the point?
The new Emperor had become the adoptive son of the previous Emperor through legal means, ascending to the throne after holding the position of Crown Prince. No one doubted that the previous Emperor had died of a natural disease. Although the situation was somewhat chaotic at the beginning of the new reign, many citizens welcomed the arrival of a young, energetic, and healthy Emperor. Even to the inexperienced eyes of the new Cavalry Commander, it was clear that the Emperor's position would soon become unassailable.
Yet, another thought crossed his mind.
If someone could so easily evade surveillance and rush to the Capital in an instant, wouldn't it be entirely possible for him to hatch a plot out of the Emperor's sight?
Was there truly nothing behind his strange and secretive facade?
Could the belief that he couldn't possibly harbor the intent to rebel be a horribly wrong judgment, as Kishiar had put it, made because they had "shared a bed for so long"?
Despite having been intimate with the man for so long, Yuder had nothing he could be certain of. Therefore, he had to ask in order to find the answer.
And the answer that returned shattered every nameless fragment of emotion inside Yuder, summoning a bitterly cold winter.
After that time, Kishiar never sought out his room again. Yuder also bolted the window through which the man used to pass and never reopened it.
Having thought up to that point, Yuder let go of the paper he was holding. The piece of paper, lost in the darkness, vanished without a trace.
‘Perhaps then... I wanted to believe Kishiar.’
As time went on, looking back once again at that era, he saw something he hadn't felt back then.
At that time, Yuder might have wanted to believe in Kishiar more than he thought he did. Could he really have not known the expectation and fear that shone brightly in the unweathered face?
The word 'priority' that Kishiar left behind at that time had a sufficient effect in stimulating the sense of responsibility that was still unfamiliarly resting on Yuder's shoulders. Especially since it was a turbulent time with protests related to the existence of the first Cavalry Commander of commoner origin and the treatment of the Awakeners.
Whether they liked it or not, the status of the Cavalry was undoubtedly closely related to the treatment of the Awakeners throughout the empire, and Yuder was the only one who could protect all of them. It was too difficult and heavy a task for someone who had lived alone without ever taking responsibility for anything, but after that time, he forgot the weight.
The anger and disappointment left by Kishiar La Orr made all of that possible.
He refused to admit it then, so he never even thought about it, but now he seemed to understand.
Yuder wanted to keep the Cavalry intact, so easily left behind by Kishiar La Orr.
From the moment he realized that he could no longer rely on anyone.
To stand on his own and move forward on his own.
Furiously.
‘But thinking about it now, that too is probably...’
Kishiar had returned the paper pulled out by Yuder twice. If he had wanted to use that fact, he could have easily taken advantage of Yuder at that time, but instead, he left something close to advice.
As a result, Yuder began to move with 'priority' in mind thereafter, as he mentioned, which was no different from following his words again.
Behind the old misunderstanding. Things that were hidden behind the unknown.
Yuder recalled the shadowed red eyes that had looked at him.
The deeply recessed, cold and gloomy eyelids, the lusterless, brittle ends of his hair, and the cheeks as pale as if the blood had stopped flowing. He had not found it strange because it was that man, but now that he knew the healthy version of him, nothing seemed normal.
‘First of all, the situation in which Kishiar was in was like that.’
He didn't know it then, but now he knew the fact that the previous life's Kishiar might have suffered significant damage to his vessel not long after he had created the Cavalry.
Even in such a state, when Yuder suffered injuries that almost cut off both his arms, he knew that the wound healed for reasons that could not be explained unless Kishiar secretly used divine power.
He now knew that he had expected enough to tacitly approve of Kishiar's excuse of jumping the fence, using the tactical game he played with him as an excuse...
Did a real reason for Kishiar La Orr to rebel exist?
Were the things that he believed in then the truth?
Why hadn't he denied or affirmed the question?
He wanted to know.
Like the sudden realization of an unknown hunger, Yuder became acutely aware that he desperately wanted to know the answer.
'I want to know.'
Something that could not be understood by mere speculation.
The answer to something that had been lost, leaving countless empty holes within.
The secrets that Kishiar might have hidden from him, or perhaps had told him but were forgotten and might have vanished without him even knowing.
As he fiercely focused on this thought alone, a light suddenly burst forth from the darkness.
A familiar yet intense red energy obscured his vision, followed by a shimmering haze mixed with golden energy, enveloping it like a mist. The dreamlike and beautiful dance of light dazzled his eyes, and as they cleared once again, Yuder found himself standing once more in a dream of the past he had seen one day.
'...It's been a long time since this happened. I thought it was an illusion, but it's real; it's astonishing.'
A low voice that sounded incredibly elegant, though devoid of strength. Beyond the blurred view, he could see the face of a man sitting upright at a desk.
Gloved hands elegantly folded, and the interior of Peletta Castle he had seen just once.
It was Kishiar from that day.
Comments
Monmon
Haaaaah, them. 😭
Monmon
Yes, usually he's dreaming or has passed out when stuff like this comes up. Just remember that we're dealing with an unreliable narrator that can't remember a decent amount of his own history. The only way we find out that history is through him reliving it through these dreams. There's a lot of unanswered questions from the past that can only really be answered through the dream/flashback method, so honestly I would just expect this going forward, because Yuder's scrambled memory and his connection with Prime and Current Kishiar are basically the crux of the whole story. Also, it iiiiiis a time traveling/second chance story. Flashbacks are almost a done deal, like I don't think I've seen any without them😅
Faye
Why are we getting a bunch of flashbacks? Did Yuder blackout? I'm also not really a fan of the past stuff. It feels really repetitive
