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Turning Chapter 795
🕑 Added 2024-01-09 05:23:57 +0000 UTCChapter 795
Yuder had never considered the link between naming and responsibility.
Chewing over Kanna's words, Yuder found himself drawn to the notion of naming. He suddenly remembered a man who had given him a name.
'…'
He knew pondering over unsolvable matters was nothing but a waste of time, nothing more, nothing less.
Even if Kishiar La Orr had felt something when he bestowed the name Yudrain, what did it matter?
Still, Yuder couldn't help but ask, despite knowing better.
"…Is it really common?"
"Huh?"
"The act of naming something, does it really evoke a sense of responsibility?"
Kanna, who had been eagerly speculating, looked puzzled by his question.
"Uh... I always thought it was obvious, but now that Yuder mentions it, I'm not so sure... It must be common, right? The sage and I think so, so it must be. Or, is there something strange about it?"
Yuder shook his head.
"No. It's just that I'm wondering if it's a common judgment. I've never had that experience."
"Really?! I thought Yuder lived in a very rural area. Haven’t you ever raised livestock? Dogs or cats? Or even named inanimate objects?"
Kanna bombarded him with questions, surprised.
"I’ve raised livestock other than dogs or cats for short periods, but never named them. And objects... Why would I name objects?"
At Yuder's frown, Kanna chuckled.
"No, you see. Some people give nicknames to their cherished items. In our group, many name their weapons. They choose these names so carefully. Just like Nahan, 'Star of Paradise.' You can tell a lot of thought went into it!"
Yuder faintly understood. He knew of people who named their weapons, but he never paid much attention to it.
"Why not try naming your sword to see if it really does bring responsibility and affection? The sword and sheath you carry were both gifts, right? You treasure them."
Yuder glanced at his sword hanging at his waist. Both the sword and sheath were precious gifts from Kishiar, rare and well-maintained.
But did it show that much to others?
Yuder fiddled with the sword handle, then shook his head.
"No. I don't think that's necessary. But I get your point."
"Ah, I was curious about what kind of names Yuder would come up with. That's too bad!"
Yuder couldn't understand why she felt disappointed.
'Anyway… the conclusion seems to be that it's common.'
If it was common to feel enough responsibility from naming something to influence behavior, then the man who named him Yudrain might have felt the same.
'I guess he chose a good word. It turned out to be meaningful… Whether it was whimsical or not, I don’t know.'
Yuder had only recently learned that the name Yudrain was a combination of ancient words, meaning both beginning and end, and in a way, eternity. The strange feeling he had when he first heard its grandiose meaning was unforgettable.
Eternity.
Yuder wondered why the man had chosen such a word. Was there truly an intention behind it?
After their conversation about the act of naming, he became curious about this.
In the midst of these thoughts, Kanna suddenly spoke up as if she had been contemplating the same thing.
"If you think about it, the reason Nahan is so obsessed with the goal of leaving for a world only for the Awakeners may be because of the name the ‘Star of Nagran.’ They say a name carries the wishes of the one who names."
Yuder's eyes flickered briefly, but the movement was so subtle that Kanna didn't notice.
"For example, my mother named me Kanna, hoping I'd grow up strong and beautiful like the Kanna flower. So, Nahan, who named the ‘Star of Nagran’ might have wished more than anyone to reach paradise."
"..."
"Ah, of course, now his goals and means have completely degenerated into madness!"
After her playful remark, Kanna turned to her silent friend and was startled.
"…Huh? Yuder? What's wrong?"
Yuder Aile, known for his unchanging expression, looked strangely distorted. The unfamiliar turmoil in his deep black eyes made Kanna wonder if she had said something wrong.
"It's nothing."
But the change disappeared as quickly as it had come. Yuder returned to his usual self and quietly gazed at Kanna.
"Let’s end this conversation here. It's gotten late."
"Ah... Ah, right! We’re underground, so I lost track of time. Let’s go up and rest!"
Had she seen something wrong? Or had the conversation sparked a different thought in him?
Though worried, Kanna decided not to pry or react uncharacteristically unless Yuder chose to speak about it.
The two quietly left the underground. It seemed as if nothing had happened.
But after parting with Kanna, Yuder's thoughts on the old name lingered for a long time, a fact known to no one.
—
"...I've returned."
Yuder murmured as he opened the door to the Commander’s temporary office. He still shared accommodations with Kishiar, so this was his only place to return to.
However, Kishiar, whom he expected to find there, was not present. Only the prismatic flames of the magic stone stove, burning fiercely, indicated that Kishiar had recently stepped out.
Yuder sighed deeply and hung his coat on the rack beside the stove. He placed the translated version of Enon's writings and the book he had carried on the desk and sat down in his chair. That’s when a soreness around his eyes began.
It was a symptom he occasionally experienced when his body was extremely fatigued, ever since he gained the Eye of Magic power.
'It’s been a busy day.'
Yet, when Kishiar returned, he needed to report the day's events and address more tasks. It was too early to rest.
'I should look over Enon's translation now. Kishiar reads faster than I do, so he’ll finish quickly, but not me…'
Reaching out for the translated document, Yuder found that his hand wasn’t moving as swiftly or fluidly as usual. It was unusually sluggish, but not due to fatigue. More precisely, it was a lack of motivation that seemed to be affecting his physical response, despite knowing he needed to see it.
Usually, if there was a task that needed to be done, no matter how tired he was, Yuder would immediately attend to it. Such reluctance was exceedingly rare for him. However, Yuder wasn’t particularly surprised by this. During his previous life as a Commander of the Cavalry, he had occasionally experienced similar feelings.
'Back then, I would have turned to alcohol, but now, that’s not an option.'
He had realized that the sensation he once thought was intoxication was actually similar to the effects of mild poisoning. Even if someone offered it to him now, he couldn’t drink it.
Yuder gazed at the blazing stove, then leaned his head back in the chair and closed his eyes.
The crackling sound seemed to calm his nerves, which had been on edge all day.
If he didn’t feel like doing what needed to be done, and there was nothing else he could do, then shutting off his senses and resting like this was the best option.
He intended to stay like that only until Kishiar returned.
'...'
But when his consciousness hazily reawakened, Yuder found himself surrounded by scenes from a day long past, unexpectedly unfolding before his eyes.
'…It’s been a while since this happened. I thought it was an illusion, but to think it’s real is astonishing.'
The somber ash-gray Peletta Castle. The extinguished stove. Kishiar from that day.
Yuder looked down at the sword in his grip, then clenched his teeth tightly.
Comments
Liandrin Kamiya
Yuder, that’s not reluctance, that’s called depression. Poor Kanna, she thinks they’re having a normal conversation, meanwhile Yuder is next to her being nudged into a mental breakdown… 😭
Shrak Prince
I'm glad to see yuder resting without being forced to ❤️ even if it's for a short duration
Victoria
the ending description of yuder laying back made me think of his time as a commander, like a powerful man sat in a powerful position leaning backwards
Lady
Kishiar named you eternity because he’ll love you forever Yuder! Omg my heart ❤️ 😭 Yuder will always be Kishiar’s no 1 😭
Sarah Mooney
"Ah, of course, now his goals and means have completely degenerated into madness!" Foreshadowing anyone? 😳 ☠️
