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Turning Chapter 1044
🕑 Added 2024-04-01 12:30:07 +0000 UTCChapter 1044
Yuder let out a small sigh and began to speak.
"As I mentioned before, my birthday was never anything special. I've never received a gift that held any meaningful significance... Honestly, in my previous life, I only remember finding it bothersome, thinking, 'Why should I even bother celebrating it?'"
Yuder roughly recalled the gifts he had received in his previous life. Most of them were jewels and clothes he couldn't even eat, and even those were mostly of vulgar designs that only looked flashy but lacked actual value. It was because they thought a commoner like him wouldn't have a discerning eye, so they sent him things that only sparkled on the surface.
Occasionally, there were those who attempted to assassinate him by applying curses or poison among the gifts, but he thoroughly made sure all those bastards paid the price, and they soon disappeared. However, some things never disappeared, no matter how much he ignored them or showed them what he was capable of.
"The most annoying ones were those who sent bribes in the name of gifts and then brazenly demanded favors in return. No matter how much I returned them or ignored them, those people never disappeared."
The man leaning lightly on Yuder's shoulder let out a small, dry laugh.
"Such people always exist, but... it must have been very troublesome."
"Yes. Later on, I even seriously considered declaring that I wouldn't accept any gifts sent to me, no matter how sincere they were. I couldn't execute it, though."
"Why?"
"There was an opposing opinion that doing so would mean refusing even the Emperor's gifts, which could be misunderstood as having impure intentions."
Even if such a thing didn't happen, Yuder acting 'like a commoner' could directly lower the image and dignity of the Cavalry itself. He couldn't let the status and image he had built up crumble due to his own annoyance and give his enemies an opening to attack.
"So... I just left it alone."
Being in a position like the Commander of the Cavalry, even a small action could spread as the image of the entire organization, so he couldn't decide anything as he pleased. Thinking about it again, it was a really bothersome position.
Kishiar fiddled with Yuder's hand resting on his knee in silence. After a while, he asked in a low voice, "Wasn't there any memorable gift among those you received from the Emperor?"
"..."
From his perspective, it was a question he would naturally ask. However, Yuder felt a slightly complicated feeling for a moment. The gifts he received from Emperor Katchian weren't particularly more impressive than those from Emperor Keilusa.
It was justβ¦
"...I did receive various gifts whenever I returned from a successful mission."
Those missions naturally included the first secret mission of assassinating Duke Peletta.
The black thornwood staff with the red magic stone embedded in it vividly came to Yuder's mind. It was the first gift he received from Emperor Katchian and the object that became the symbol of the Commander of the Cavalry.
Proof that he was an excellent murderer.
Ripples stirred in his chest for the first time in a long while. However, Yuder now knew well what to do in such moments. He looked down at his two hands overlapping on his knee. Gripping Kishiar's hand that had slipped between his fingers, his chest cleared, and his heart settled.
He could just answer this much and move on, but Kishiar would have already sufficiently guessed the things hidden in Yuder's answer. It wasn't a good topic of conversation for a day when he only wanted to give him good feelings, but the truth would be better than leaving things unclear. Kishiar was that kind of person.
Yuder took a deep breath and opened his mouth again.
"Do you remember... when we tried to switch out the Calanesa powder hidden in the secret warehouse in the West? The magic stone I discovered inside the warehouse."
It might seem like an abrupt statement, but Kishiar didn't think so.
"The exceptionally large red magic stone. It had a considerable amount of mana contained within."
As expected, he remembered. He probably had engraved in his mind, without a single word out of place, the sharp attitude Yuder had shown at that time. However, towards the man who hadn't said anything about it until now, Yuder nodded and continued,
"I had seen it in my previous life. It was embedded in the staff I received after successfully completing my first... assassination mission after becoming the Commander of the Cavalry."
"..."
"Actually, it was a useless object to me, but I never let it out of my hand afterward. The Emperor also wanted me to carry it whenever I officially visited the palace. It was... so to speak, a symbol of the Commander of the Cavalry at the time... a symbol of me."
Yuder didn't let that staff out of his sight, even though he wasn't a mage and it was completely useless in its unprocessed state. It was an action bordering on obsession. To the point where he felt a momentary anger when he saw someone else holding it as he died.
Come to think of it now, perhaps he couldn't stand seeing someone else holding an object that was practically proof that he had killed Kishiar La Orr.
At the time, he thought he had no particular feelings about it, but it was a grotesquely twisted obsession.
"...I was quite surprised to find it there at the time. If you ask me about a memorable gift I received from the Emperor at that time, to be honest... I'd say that was the only one for me."
Now, it wasn't so surprising that the object was there. It was probably there in his previous life as well. However, unlike now, when Kishiar discovered and disposed of it, it must have flowed nicely into the hands of the Tain family back then.
The purpose of the Tain family was to conduct an illegal trade business encompassing the West and the South. When doing such a thing, one of the most important aspects was to diligently distribute gifts to the surrounding forces, both in front and behind, to avoid their opposition. That magic stone must have been among the gifts he distributed, and it wasn't strange to think it had flowed all the way to Katchian.
An unjustly obtained magic stone. It probably had no value or preciousness to Katchian, so he might have thought it was perfect to bestow upon Yuder.
Kishiar remained silent for a long time.
"At that time, you said you never wanted to touch such a red magic stone again."
"..."
"I'm sorry for asking an unpleasant question."
"It's fine. It doesn't bother me anymore. But my feelings about not wanting to touch that magic stone again remain the same. Well, I suppose it doesn't matter now since you would have disposed of everything that was there anyway."
Kishiar smiled faintly.
"...Well, actually, that's not quite the case."
"Pardon?"
When Yuder asked in puzzlement, Kishiar raised his head.
"Your reaction at that time bothered me, so I disposed of all the other objects but kept that one magic stone. I traced the history of the magic stone afterward, but I couldn't find any significantly differentiating aspects compared to the other objects. But... I see. I finally have the answer now."
Yuder didn't know that. As he blinked in surprise, Kishiar let out a sigh-mixed laugh.
"Don't worry. I'll make sure to dispose of it properly this time. I'll ensure you never have to see it again."
"Ah... yes."
"Thank you for sharing that with me. If you hadn't, I might have kept that item indefinitely."
"No, of course... I would have done the same."
Although a bit surprised, Yuder understood why Kishiar had acted that way and wasn't overly concerned. As Yuder shook his head, Kishiar faintly smiled and changed the subject.
"Speaking of which, your birthday. The registration documents only list it as late May, did you deliberately not specify the exact date?"
Comments
Jesse Gibson
Yessssssssssss.. but also Yuder liked to punish himself, him keeping that staff was proof of his sin, he kept it to remind himself of what he had done, what he had lost and what he βgainedβ - just that stupid staff that was useless and powerless just like he felt- that staff was him and his sin. Andβ¦ it was proof that Kishiar had once lived even if everyone else was ready to move and forget, he never would. Never. Ugh these two π
Tgcf_fan
Red magic stone, kishiar Red eyes.. This is just my opinion I thought at that time while reading that chapter , I think Yuder subconsciously held on to that red magic stone because it's the last item that are connected to kishiar (in some twisted way).. On surface it was a gift from the emperor so he can't throw it away.. on deeper level (unconscious to Yuder himself perhaps) just like right now, Yuder will keep anything that's related to kishiar closer to him. like how he didn't change anything in the commander office when he took over the position. When he was lonely he will sat in front of that stone magic fireplace that kishiar had built in his office and drank the 'poison' wine alone. He kept the name Yudrain (he can changed the name back to Yuder after kishiar died, but he didn't), I think if Yuder didn't intentionally/unintentionally suppressed his memory of kishiar (remember he can't even look at kishiar body laid in the coffin. He just placed the flower and left) his mind might have broken beyond repair. In his last moments before he was executed, the person who appeared in his memory is kishiar. The cold feeling he always felt whenever kishiar is away from him..The feelings he tried to suppressed during early chapters (he was jealous when he sniff the woman perfume on kishiar), The nightmares (the forgotten memories)... It help that it took him awhile to understand his feelings for kishiar in previous game. If not I can't imagine how painful it must have been for him to keep on living. To love someone so deeply like this that even he himself didn't realised it, not until he was given 2nd chance to meet his beloved again. Truly heartbreaking π₯Ήπβ€οΈβπ©Ή
