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Bermuda Chapter 93
🕑 Added 2024-05-09 11:20:05 +0000 UTCChapter 93
For a long time, Hugo remained silent, then faced Leonardo's golden eyes again with a slightly confused and complex gaze.
His mind was dominated by chaos, and his heart ached with regret. It was regret for him who had waited for him, and regret for the things he had judged and committed regarding "him" as a person.
Until now, while observing Leonardo, Hugo thought he had seen many hidden aspects of him, but through his words, he realized that it was arrogance. At the same time, the countless worries this young man in front of him must have thought about alone, and his heart that had agonized over his own responsibility, struck him suddenly and heavily.
Leonardo looked at Hugo's face, which seemed to be lost in thought after hearing his words, then lowered his eyes and hung his head.
Hugo carefully observed his appearance. Through the strands of golden hair, he could see his eyelashes, which had fatigue settled on them, trembling finely. As he took that weakness into his eyes, the words he had uttered echoed in his mind. Hugo repeated them and managed to open his mouth.
"You... waited for me."
Only after hearing his low, resonating voice did Leonardo realize what he had said, swept away by his emotions. Feeling extreme regret rushing in, he touched his lips. Then, he frowned with the same confusion and turned his head.
"No, I mean-."
However, he soon couldn't continue speaking and let out a small sigh.
Hugo waited for his next words for a moment, and when the silence continued, he continued speaking.
"Worrying about my responsibility."
"..."
"Doubting your own abilities."
Leonardo rubbed his face as he listened to what Hugo was listing. He was frustrated with himself for constantly leaning towards his emotions and saying unnecessary things.
How long had they been together?
Rather, it seemed like he would find this side of him strange. To Leonardo, Hugo Agrizendro was the only person here who said he would try to trust him, but to be truly objective, he was a person who had many things to worry about besides the existence of Leonardo Blaine.
So in fact, he had no obligation to trust him or consider his thoughts. In the first place, when looking at any one thing, their direction and magnitude of thoughts couldn't be the same from their positions.
Knowing that too well, Leonardo hated himself for constantly expecting something from this person.
Just because they had a conversation as human to human at night, he felt a sense of bond as if he had seen some pitiful side of him, which felt insanely foolish to him.
And while he found it uncomfortable and annoying that he kept worrying about him and trying to have a conversation, at the same time, he felt it was contradictory to feel some vague emotion that was the opposite of that.
Hugo looked at the other person with sunken eyes, filled with pity for him and a sense of doubt about himself, and said,
"...I didn't know you were thinking like that."
Leonardo couldn't raise his head due to his complicated feelings. He was probably just treating the pitiful-looking guy humanely to an appropriate extent.
Nothing was more tiring to the other person than one-sided expectations and trust. He had just gone ahead alone, by himself.
So, when Leonardo was thinking that he would be troubled, at that moment,
"I'm sorry."
Leonardo, who flinched at the low resonance brushing his ears, raised his head. It was to confirm if he had heard correctly. Agrizendro's eyes, which he looked at again, were mixed with emotions as complex as his own.
As the golden eyes turned towards him, Hugo gently caressed Leonardo's hand that he was holding. At that careful touch, Leonardo also placed his gaze on his hand, then stared directly into his eyes again.
He got the feeling that he was a little at a loss.
"I think I... no, I think I was thinking wrongly."
Hugo continued solemnly while maintaining eye contact.
"I didn't mean to burden you. Even more so, I didn't intend to use my responsibility as a hostage to restrict your judgment and actions."
"..."
"I didn't know you were thinking so deeply about my words and my responsibility."
Hugo recalled the moment when he faced Leonardo's unstable control when a Dermocas appeared near the base camp for the first time and mentioned it to him.
Seeing Leonardo enter the tent with an unpleasant expression at that time, he thought he was very hurt in his pride regarding this issue and considered it a flaw he didn't want to acknowledge. So he thought he might get angry if he directly mentioned it and imposed restrictions.
Because of that, he dismissed his words that he would handle this problem on his own as bravado, and when he continued to show unstable control, he wanted to test him silently before a real crisis occurred.
However, the moment he heard what Leonardo had been thinking, he thought, 'If only I had talked to him one more time without making assumptions.'
"My thoughts were short-sighted."
Of course, even now, he wasn't sure if Leonardo could really avoid hurting people or prevent danger even in the midst of his unstable control. In the first place, it was something that hadn't happened, so both Leonardo and he wouldn't know the answer to that.
It's just that if he had talked to him even once more, he wouldn't have chosen to test him to find the answer to that.
"I'm sorry for testing you."
Leonardo looked at each of Hugo's eyes as he spoke to him solemnly. As the shadowed eyelids slowly came down and went up over the blue eyes, a clear gaze was soon directed at him.
"You must have felt more anxious and reluctant because you doubted your own abilities and it was an underwater battle. Thank you for thinking of my responsibility and the safety of the members first even in the midst of that, and for jumping in and fighting in my stead. And-."
Hugo held Leonardo's hand with both of his hands.
"I'm sorry for making you wait, Leonardo. I apologize again."
At those words, Leonardo, who had been looking at Hugo's face, felt his mind going blank.
Did I try to receive an apology? No, I hadn't even thought about that.
Because he was the commander, and he wouldn't have made a wrong judgment.
The person in front of him belonged to the Council, but in the Imperial Army where Leonardo had been, it was impossible to comment on or raise an objection to a decision made by a superior. Having been in such an environment, when Leonardo heard the commander's words of apology, he felt like he had heard something he shouldn't have.
He was clearly pathetic and angry at himself for becoming an idiot caught between his trust in him and the responsibility he had, and he was annoyed by him who acted like the most rational being in the world. But now, it seemed like Hugo was blaming himself for his own actions, so Leonardo couldn't bring himself to say anything.
His mind was completely complicated and confused.
After a long silence, Leonardo pulled with a little force to remove his hand from Hugo's hand. This time, his hand easily slipped out thanks to the other person loosening his grip. Even more flustered by that, he quietly looked down at his hand, then soon turned his eyes somewhere else.
"No, no..."
Leonardo bit his lip at his constantly blocked words and let out an irritated sigh. Then, he frowned, swept back his hair, and retorted coldly with effort.
"It's fine, you don't have to apologize. I won't have to wait for you anymore anyway."
'Rather, it's better this way.'
He slightly closed his eyes to organize his thoughts, then opened them and gazed at Hugo clearly, saying,
"We'll part ways once the subjugation is over, so there's no need to try to resolve it like this. I don't really want to have conversations other than matters related to the subjugation from now on either. Once this job is over, you and I won't have any reason to meet again."
It was because of the peculiarity of the current situation that he himself had become soft, but there was nothing good for him in building personal affection with the people here anyway. At Leonardo's words drawing a line with such thoughts, Hugo's lips slightly parted, then closed again.
Hugo accepted Leonardo's words calmly.
Leonardo Blaine's role in the subjugation team was to hunt monsters, not to get along well with him or the members.
Protecting the members who went into the water wasn't something he had ordered either, so it wasn't an obligation. But he always protected people as if it were natural. Saying it was his job.
In the first place, if Leonardo had been someone who didn't care about the well-being of the members, could he have even tested him?
Hugo lowered his gaze for a moment to organize the numerous thoughts that came to mind. Then, he soon opened his mouth again.
"You were a much more mature person than I thought, but in the end, I wasn't."
Leonardo silently looked at Hugo.
"Thank you for telling me the things you had inside you. Rather than trying to resolve it, I just wanted to know your thoughts."
Hugo calmly continued speaking to him like that.
"As you said, you and I may not have any reason to meet again once this job is over. And even right now, as the commander, I may not be able to trust you as much as you hoped."
"..."
"However, I promise that from now on, I won't make assumptions and judgments about you. Also, just as much as you took my responsibility heavily, and just as much as you acted after careful consideration, I promise to consider your position once more and listen to your words."
Leonardo just blinked as if it was a bit strange. It was because he thought he might not have understood his words about drawing a line.
Why would someone who was a commander care so much about an outsider who wasn't even a member, who was even further away and would soon part ways, and make so many promises? He could just ignore it and move on.
His words felt sincere enough to raise such curiosity. He wasn't someone who would lie either.
Leonardo had a dizzying gaze with various thoughts mixed together. Hugo told him in a slightly bitter tone,
"I know well that no matter what I say now, your mood won't easily improve. You don't need to forcibly improve your mood. But you don't need to keep it to yourself either. If you really don't want to talk, you don't have to. However, whenever you have something you want to say. Talk to me."
He seemed to hold back his words for a moment, then soon gazed at Leonardo with upright eyes.
"This time, I will wait for you."
Comments
Monmon
Thank you for saying this I feel the same way 😭
Bernie Jay
I’m keeping an eye on you, Hugo! However, for Hugo to give an inch is probably greater than we realize and I hope Leo takes a mile!!!
Jesse Gibson
Ah, I really don’t want him to soften against Hugo yet. He needs more improvement as a ML before that… ugh so frustrating. Don’t soften yet Leo! He needs to suffer a bit!
Mkslushi
They’ve started opening up to each other - honestly Leonardo has so many things we haven’t even seen yet and the way him and Hugo had this conversation is a step in the right direction. 🥹
