ddwebb
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Hard reset
🕑 Added 2024-04-05 02:54:31 +0000 UTCThis just does not get any less frustrating no matter how many times it happens...
I'm sure everyone has noticed the lack of content for the last week...actually I believe it's been more than a week. Those who are on my discord server and reading my updates will already be aware of how things have been going for me. In short: not good, for brain reasons.
It's always brain reasons with me. Mine is just plain defective.
Since moving to my new "whenever, whatever" publication schedule I have not taken any of my scheduled writing breaks, because honestly, I haven't felt the need. I kind of still don't; despite how much mental stress I'm suffering at the moment, it doesn't feel like the same burnout that previously required me to take time off.
However, it has now accumulated in a vicious cycle where the longer I go without managing to finish this chapter I've been haplessly staring at for the last week, the more stressed about it I get, and the harder it is to make any headway.
So, to my immense displeasure, I'm going to do the only thing that has worked to solve this problem in the past: I'm calling a break. Gonna remove the source of stress and give myself permission to un-tense without a deadline looming, until this ingrained fight-or-flight state I've wound myself into retreats and I can focus again.
As always, my intellectual awareness that this is what I need to do is at odds with my deep aversion to not working. As a compromise between then I am setting two potential return dates. Best case, I will be back on Monday, if taking tomorrow and the weekend off suffices to still the waters and let me recover enough to resume work. I'm really gonna hope for that outcome. If my attempts to write are still not going anywhere on Monday, I will move the goal back a week to the next Monday, which is the 15th. Surely that'll be enough time and rest; if it's not, then there's something very seriously wrong and I don't know what I'll do then.
But I will keep in touch about developments.
I'm really sorry about this; I guarantee I hate it more than anyone. This is just the annoying thing I have to do from time to time to jostle my head back into working order so I can write again.
See you all soon, hopefully. Ideally as soon as possible. I really appreciate how patient everyone is with my nonsense and I dearly hope the stories will continue to entertain.
Comments
Jim Henry
No hurry; take your time and take care of yourself.
Unwillingmainer
Hey man, don't worry about us. Take whatever time you need. As someone who has had his own fights with a misbehaving brain, I get it. Somedays you just have to admit defeat and try again latter.
jthrr
All fine; I just want to add that an actual "whenever, whatever" schedule is also okay! I thought that was the new plan, and thus am surprised at the distressed self recrimination that a strict schedule is slipping and a scant few days of rest will get it back on track — that sounds just as unhealthy as the pre-"whatever, whenever" days, if not worse. I hope sharing this helps a bit! Get a break first, reset a bit, then please aim for something where you pause as the brain needs (it honestly doesn't seem so unreasonable) without apologies and guilt.
Dominic Corbin
I hope you feel better. I think taking the long break is fine, and I encourage you to consider taking planned breaks even on the current schedule.
AllenR
We'll be here, Webb.
