expulse
patreon
Stopping Patreon, kinda
🕑 Added 2019-01-14 23:05:32 +0000 UTCHeyooo,
TLDR; To clarify, I'll be getting rid of all tiers and will be keeping my patreon up just to keep it as something like a tip jar. I'll only have the $1 tier up and it's up to each patron's discretion on what they decide to do.
I am very thankful for your support thus far and I'm glad you were moved by what I was creating to go and want to support me <3
Long story, and I mean, it's p long:
2018 was probably one of the most tiring years for me, mentally, emotionally and physically. It was both from things going on irl and the online life I had. I lost sight of a lot of things, depression hit me real hard(it's hard to actually admit that ngl) and overall things just got really crazy.
Things winded down by now but of course not everything is all pretty rainbows and ish. But the whole "new year new me" is a good time to reflect on some of it, and to actually put actions to work. So to deal with some of the stress factors, the first thing I want to confront is my online life. I've been thinking more about what I want to accomplish with my art and it hit me, I don't want to be featured on Webtoon or wherever it was. I never did. But I let the good-willed words of others get to me and started to think that, maybe I did want to. Maybe I did want to be featured like my friends are, maybe I really do want to make a living off my art, maybe one of my stories are worthy enough for me to do so. And guess what? I got an offer to make this come true but turned it down.
My online life(meaning my art, friends online, "responsibilities" etc) is different from IRL by a landslide. I neglected a lot of my irl when I got into art in 2016 and tbh it was because art became an escape for me. So during the process of creating an online life for myself, it was quite a rollercoaster with it's ups and downs in how it affected me. It was hard maintaining a proper schedule while working, balancing health, socializing both online and irl, and keeping up fairly regular updates/content. So unless I sacrificed a thing or two it wasn't possible, aaaaand I didn't make the best choices. But I need to balance it out and focus on what's best for me. I'm never going to stop creating art. It's a part of me. But I am not going to throw myself into it like I have been. I'll be taking it at my own pace, not letting external factors sway me.
I feel guilty keeping my patreon up since I won't be able to deliver much from now on, that's why I'm ending all the tiers. But each time I create something I'd still like to share psd's or little things here and there to those who still want to be here, for those who really want to learn my drawing processes and whatnot. I haven't quite figured that out yet but I would still like to have these things available moving on.
Now to break down what I have intended for FOUR QUARTERS since it has something to do with all of this(I'm just laying it all out at this point haha). Like I said earlier, I started it as an escape/self-healing or whatever you can call it and it's been good for me although taxing, but it's been good. I say this so many times, it's just to reassure that I'm not going to stop this comic but I need to see my story till the end no matter how long it's going to take, and I'm happy for those who are willing to wait and keep up with it. I'm not going to promise "x updates every month" anymore because I'm going to work on it when I'm free and feel like it. I am not going to be bound by any non-existent obligation, that could make me dread working on it. After all, I'm not paid to create it and don't expect compensation either. I just want to be happy doing what I want in my spare time.
Moving on to illustrations, I have a goal of one day producing an artbook based on what I've written during my darker times. I want it to go alongside with 4Q in how it's an outlet for me, so that I can express things through my art. Hopefully reaching out to others who have been through the same things, felt the same way. This again is going to take a long time considering all that I've said so far. But I'm working on it. I was doing too much at once before and tbh although I still have a lot I want to do, this time I'll be doing everything without feeling like I have deadlines. I won't have the feeling of being pressured to make a name for myself, to try and gain popularity or whatnot. I still want to do fanart, originals >insert eveything_under_the_sun.png and eventually try out tabling at cons. Bottom line, I want to have fun with my art again. Keep it as a hobby and if in the future it is able to take me places, I want to be at a point where I see it as something I enjoy, not a burden.
After having all this out and off my shoulders, I'm not going to disappear (lowkey but high already am dead in most places loool) but I'm definitely going to keep a low profile from now on. I'm always glad to receive messages and to interact with people via social media as well. Thank you again for being here with me so far <3
Your average poteto,
Kurisustinah
