C. C. Hill
patreon
Longing From Afar-Barlow (Shorts)
🕑 Added 2024-03-27 02:23:24 +0000 UTCI'm sitting in my car, gripping the steering wheel tight. The familiar taste of jealousy rises like bile in my throat as I watch MC and Green through the coffee shop window. They look so...close. It's like a punch to the gut, and I can't help but feel that I'm losing MC to Green.
Damn it! Are they even together?
I have no idea, but the two of them seem so effortlessly connected, and so happy together.
I watch MC smile, handing a coffee to Green. Green thanks them, and their fingers brush against each other for a second too long. A pang of envy surges through me. That used to be us, sharing small moments like that, before I messed everything up.
"Come on, Barlow, get a grip," I mutter to myself, shaking my head.
But I can't tear my eyes away from the scene unfolding before me. My heart feels like it's being squeezed in a vice. Despite the pain of seeing them together, I keep looking. It's a good thing they can't see me from where I am; the windows of my truck are tainted.
MC leans in closer to Green, laughing at something Green said. They look happy, carefree—the way they used to be with me. I can't help but wonder if they still think about me; if there's even a place for me in their life anymore. After all, I cheated on them; how could they ever forgive me for that?
My mind drifts back to when we were young, when we were together: movie nights spent cuddled up on the couch, long walks holding hands, and inside jokes shared between just the two of us. I want that back more than anything. But is it too late?
Who am I kidding? It's clearly too late. What MC and I shared was years ago, and there's no doubt they've moved on. But hey, at least I still get to see them every day and work alongside them, so it's not a complete loss, right?
I steal another glance at them, unable to shake the tightening grip on my heart as I witness their laughter, the twinkle in their eyes, and the apparent connection they share. How I envy Green, sitting across from MC, sharing those moments of joy. I wish it were me, having the chance to win MC's heart, to be the one they laugh with.
Does MC ever think about getting married? Exchanging vows under the stars or maybe during a beautiful sunset? Do they see themselves living with a partner, facing life's ups and downs as a team? And what about the idea of having another kid, someone for Nugget to grow up with, sharing in all the fun and love at home?
The thoughts keep swirling in my head, each one filling me with both hope and doubt. I can't help but imagine the talks I'd have with MC, dreaming about the future we might have built together. But they're just dreams, aren't they? And here I am, feeling like an idiot sitting alone, drowning in self-pity and regret.
"What kinda ex does that make you, Barlow?" I shake my head again, trying to clear my thoughts.
Taking a deep breath, I remind myself that MC deserves happiness, whether it's with me or without me. They deserve someone who won't break their heart, someone who won't betray their trust. And as much as it pains me to admit it, that someone might not be me anymore.
I start the engine and drive away from the coffee shop, feeling like a coward for running away from a sight that cuts me so deeply. Maybe it's for the best; maybe this distance will give me the clarity I need to let go.
"Fuck it. I know I will never let go."
No matter how hard I try to push them away, thoughts of MC will always linger like an unwelcome guest in my mind. I can't escape the memories we shared, the love we once had, and the one that I still feel for them deep within me. And as much as I want to move on, a part of me still clings to the hope that maybe, just maybe, there's a chance for redemption.
Although I've left the coffee shop miles behind, I glance at the rearview mirror, hoping to catch a glimpse, only to find trees and empty roads reflected back at me.
Sigh.
"People say love is a complicated thing," I mutter to myself as I navigate the quiet suburban roads of Lemontown toward my apartment. Hell, they weren't kidding.
