Lithier
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Lith's Diary - June
🕑 Added 2020-07-01 06:28:52 +0000 UTCDear Diary,
It's... kinda hard to believe, but... it looks like this is my last entry in-- er, to... you. We finally found an ending for my story. A whole bunch of them, really. And you know what? I think they turned out pretty well. Maybe not exactly what I expected, or hoped for, but... pretty good. I think we can be happy like this, finally. Fingers crossed, things will get nice and boring and problem-free. That's how it's supposed to go after the story ends, right? You meet the heroes when they're dealing with a lot of problems, and... the story is about how they tackle those problems, overcome them, and what they learned in the process. That's what makes a good story, right?
In a way, I guess we learned a few different lessons from all this, depending on... which way you took me down that strange road. But it was all stuff I think I needed to learn... and I hope that maybe it did you a little good, too. I know that it meant the world for us, in there.
After this... it looks like you probably won't be hearing much more from me, or about me. That doesn't mean I'm gone, though. Maybe the best thing about getting this chance to talk to you, to confess to you, is that I get the chance to... well. To say goodbye properly, I guess. To make sure you understand that though we part ways, you'll be in my heart. I'll keep you with me wherever I go. I'll remember you, and everything you've done to help me, and all the... wonderful and terrible things we shared. I think it was more accident than anything that brought us together, that got me all this... attention, and support, and I still don't...
...I took a little time to flip all the way back to the very first diary entries I ever made, and even then, I was embarrassed you'd go to so much trouble to help me out. Confused. Didn't feel like I was worth it. And... I'm doing better these days, about feeling like I'm at least worth something. Most days, I am. But I still feel like you've helped me far, far more than I deserve. You've been a huge help to Lithier making all of this possible to begin with, and you've been so sweet, listening to all of my problems and nerdy ramblings, and... you've walked with me through every strange twist and turn in the path from two confused, lonely people on a blank page to... well. Something much better.
Your kindness is what brought us here. You believed in him, and you believed in me, and you were steadfast in good times and bad. And I just... It feels like it's too much. Like anything I've given you, anything I've done for you hasn't been enough even just to say thanks, and like it never could be. I'll... never be able to repay all the good you've done for me, and it makes me feel so helpless when all I can do is... say, thank you. I'll... I'll try to be a good person, to live up to the faith you've shown in me, and try to pay it forward every day. I was talking about gratitude last time, gratitude for all the good in the world, all the little things, but I've got plenty to be grateful for right here.
...I've changed a lot, too, over the years. I make all these big, dramatic claims these days, don't I? I try to talk about philosophy and all that. Well... I guess I did philosophize back then too, but I was also... It was kinda funny seeing how different my first entries were. And funny seeing how much is the same. How some things that scared me, some things I struggled with all the way back then, still haunt me today. Maybe we struggle with some things all our lives? Or maybe this strange timeline of ours has kinda... held things in stasis a little, and now... I'll be free to grow, and age, and change. What will I be like when I'm old? Will I have my own kids someday? It's... hard to imagine, but I'm finally ready to... move forward and live out my life.
Maybe that sounds a little strange. I've technically been... pretty much the same age for something like eight years now. Still working through these problems, getting lost and confused and needing your help to keep going. I'm happy with how it turned out in the end, and I'm happy to have shared it with you, but... well. I know Lithier is relieved to finally move on, and I feel a little something similar. Things move strangely when you're part of a story, and I'm ready to go back to normal, boring life. Even if it's in as strange a place as that.
I guess what I'm saying is... even though I'm sad to say goodbye, I also feel like it's... a happy occasion. Kinda like... graduation? We've achieved everything we set out to do, and now... it's time we go our separate ways, to tackle this strange beast called life. Sad, but happy. Change hurts... and farewells hurt... but at least with this one, we can be proud, and have a lot of hope for what comes next. That's... the very last gift you gave me. So, thank you.
Thank you for joining me, for holding me up, for holding me down (also sometimes needed), for walking with me and talking with me, for suffering with me, and crying with me, and helping me find something worth smiling about again. Thank you for being you, and thank you for showing me that you like me being me. Thank you for refusing to let me go.
And... thank you for letting me go.
I'll be happy to share some happy and sad moments with you again if you ever want to revisit the adventure we've had. I don't even have a game to go back to, all I'll have is the memories, so I'm a little jealous there. Just a little. But um, until then, it looks like... it's time to say farewell.
I do hope you fare well, and that you find happiness out there in the world, and inside yourself, and that you can give others happiness like you've given it to me. I hope that you can find a life that's comfortable for you, with less suffering and fewer really stupid, miserable mistakes than we made. I hope that whatever Lithier's up to after this, he can keep giving you something special to enjoy in your life. I'm glad he's done messing with me, though.
...Thank you for everything. Be well, and fare well, and live well.
Let's make this ending a happy, new beginning.
-Lith
