Lithier
patreon
Side-Write: Night Confession
🕑 Added 2022-06-01 06:04:10 +0000 UTCI've been thinking more about what the story of Project Wild One needs to be, to support its strengths and its goals. I'm still learning about what's possible in this game and where the final version will actually go, but things are starting to fall into place a little at a time, and at this point, I feel like one big thing is kinda missing from the "world" building up around PWO.
It feels very wild and hedonistic, but that's never really suited my writing style or interests very well, and it's not really what I'm known for. I don't want to lose that side of things while getting caught up in all the technical challenges of making naughty bits collide in interesting ways, and some of the big ideas and goals I have laid out point in that direction, so I want to make sure that this is a world that feels emotionally grounded, where people can have serious stories and emotional development. I thought some about how I can work more of that into the game in the future while still being very open and free-flowing, and today I decided to ground some of that with a more detailed exploration of one encounter the Wild One might have. I think I'm feeling better about it now, though I still need to work on working in more happy emotional situations later, maybe...
As usual, nothing specifically canon so much as an exploration of what may be to come! Hope you enjoy!
~~~
"I've spent four winters with Gran, now. You can barely tell it's the same cottage, he... I think he was embarrassed, I said something about it being small when I saw it. I just meant, you know, he's a big guy, and it was such a small place... He'd lived here with his parents until they passed, and now he brought me here, and I said some little thing in passing... I hadn't meant anything by it, but he added those rooms, and the... the garden. All this. He works hard."
"I just... I wish he'd talk to me. Or at least..." She sighed. "...He gets grouchy when I talk too much. I don't know. He can be gone two or three days at a time, especially lately, with the wolves getting worse, and by the time he comes back, I'm going crazy just for someone to talk to. I mean, look at me." She laughed faintly. "I'm talking to a monster."
The dark figure hunched in the middle of her home still gave no reaction... no sign it even understood her. But those eyes were fixed on her, luminous in the light of her lantern, and something in the way it looked at her... Maybe she was talking just to fight back the fear, the confusion, the absurdity of it. Her laughter wasn't forced, it escaped her before she even knew it was there.
"I'm sure you noticed the traps out there. The whole place is choked with them. He tries to keep me safe, and he made sure I know how to kill, and how to get killed." She gestured to the spear she'd snatched up on noticing the beast, now leaned against the wall. Those eyes didn't move away from her. "And when he holds me, I know that... that he needs me. That I'm what keeps him going, day after day, out there in that chaos. When he comes back, he doesn't really relax until he sees I'm happy with whatever he's managed to find." Again, unsteady laughter bubbled up in her throat. "Sometimes I'm almost afraid that if I weren't happy with it, he'd just march right back out there." She started wiping at her eyes. "I think h-he's been trying to... fatten me up lately. We might be trying for a child again soon. And I mean, I... I--!"
She hiccuped, fumbling for words and scrubbing at her face. "I sh-should be happy... He's not perfect, but he's... I know there are far worse guys out there, and he's...!" Ugly things were boiling up out of her and making her mouth move and say things. She never should have started talking to a monster, now she couldn't stop...! "I can't stand it! I don't even know why I'm here, it was SO stupid to leave the village with a complete s-stranger just because he w-was..." She tried to form the words, but the sheer absurdity reduced it to a gibberish of wincing and smirking. "I was still a stupid child, and I thought this was my chance to finally get away from..." She waved her hand vaguely in the air. "Stupid things. Arguments and rivalries and... jealousy. I... I had no idea how much I'd...!" Shoulders drawn in, she pulled herself up straight, trying to contain little sobs. "I miss it! I miss Jen and her stupid fucking smug face, and I miss those brats that were always stealing things, and I miss..." Finally, she crumpled inward again. "I miss my parents..."
She couldn't manage anything meaningful for a while after that. Elbows on the table, she let it all finally pour out of her, the years of hiding from it and pretending to just... be the perfect little wife Gran had seen in her. She'd held out so long, she'd done such a good job fooling herself, and now... some sort of creature had crept into her home as silently as the night itself, and she just...? Why...?
Finally, she managed to wipe her eyes clear and focus on the creature again. Had it moved? It was still sitting in the same spot where she'd first noticed it, but it might have... sat back more? Relaxed a little? She squinted at it.
At first she'd thought it was one of those damn werewolves that had started coming through the area and making things harder for Gran, and it did look a little wolfish, but... it also had parts that looked like other kinds of fur, and maybe even bits of something like scales? It looked like a strange sort of patchwork creature, like nothing she'd even heard of before. But... she was pretty sure it was one of the smart ones. One of the ones that thinks, even if it doesn't speak your tongue. None of the animal ones acted anything like this. Hell, nothing acted like this.
She sighed. "You know what it is." She looked the creature in the eyes. "You scared me at first, but you could have attacked me before I had a weapon ready. And for a minute, I..." She forced herself to meet that silent gaze. "I was... excited to think that maybe you were here for me. That you... wanted me." That was the stupid, ugly creature she really was, deep down. "None of them ever made it in here before, you know. You're the first. I don't know what you want, but... I get the feeling that if it were me, I couldn't stop you." Maybe... maybe that was what had really shaken her. Not just the excitement that this creature might want her, but the way that four years of feeling surprisingly safe and secure in such a secluded place... shattered, and... the way it had sent an incredible thrill through her body. An electric chill shuddering just under the surface. She'd never felt anything like it before, and... it made her wonder if she belonged in such a safe place.
She swallowed. "...I can't just... leave him. Not after everything he's done for me. And I'm... I'm happy with him, too. Sometimes. I..." She didn't even know how to engage with the muddle of feelings she was facing. There was an entire world out there, looming in the great, flickering shadow this beast cast behind it. What would she be out there? What would she do? Would she ever feel safe again? Was this exciting because she actually wanted a different life, or because she realized that... that she was safe, but felt just in enough danger to get her heart going?
...Okay, it was probably that. Even just sleeping outside sounded miserable when she was so used to their comfy bed. She just...?
Slowly, she stood again, facing the beast. It was almost silent, but she could pick up the faint rumble of its breathing, and that was enough to convince her she wasn't just talking to a shadow on the wall or something. "So what do you want, then? I'm the only food here, we're not stupid enough to keep stockpiles lying around."
It did move its head, watching her rise... then move closer. Even sitting down on the floor, it wasn't much shorter than her. How had this thing snuck up on her? "If you can talk, hurry up and say something. I'm not sleeping with you here, so..." She huffed, not even sure what to say. She'd already tried threatening it with the spear, and it just... watched. She couldn't bring herself to actually stab it when it was just sitting there.
This close... staring into its eyes... she was sure, now. Another little tingle chased through her as she suddenly became quite certain that... there wasn't just an animal in her home uninvited, but... a stranger. A person. It... he... was simply choosing to watch her.
And... he hadn't really shown any interest in anything else. Not her weapon, or the cottage, or anything else in it... besides her.
Her breathing was a little shaky. "Are you... here for me?"
The silence drew long between them, standing half-cast in reddish light, half in shadow, together.
Slowly, she pulled off her clothes. Maybe if--?
He stirred, and rose, and a dizzying whiff of... maleness... welcomed her. She dropped her clothes, mouth working, but she couldn't find any words now.
Her voice did echo many times across the inside of the cozy cottage, however, before he finally disappeared back into the night. And as she lay in the cooling mess, she found herself... confused, among many other things. He hadn't even...?
She thought about the creature many times after that. She thought too about whether she ought to go back to the village, and sometimes she almost convinced herself the whole thing had been a bizarre dream, but... cleaning up the mess after had been clear enough. In the long silences, it was hard not to think about... all of it.
But Gran finally came back, and that made it easier to forget for a while. At least... until the creature came back again.
Gran actually noticed it while it was still outside-- she hadn't heard a thing, but he just lurched to his feet without a word and rushed out into the night, readying a blade. And there it was, picking its way between their traps the same way Gran did. It stopped, staring at both of them, and Gran charged it, yelling for her to go back inside.
"GRAN!" She screamed before she could stop herself. He paused a moment, only a moment, looking quickly between her and the beast. It was easing back now, back through the traps and away. She spluttered for words. "I-it's dark! It's too dangerous fighting in all those traps, just... scare it off!"
He was already moving to chase after it again, but it had managed enough of a lead that it could spring one of the traps behind it and get away while Gran was getting around it. It disappeared once more into the shadows, leaving her husband to reset the trap and come back inside, grumbling that he'd have to work on some new traps.
She stared out the window at those shadows long after all trace of their visitor was gone. She hadn't wanted either of them to be hurt. She felt like she finally understood why the creature had come to her, why it had just sat and stared at her for so long. She'd been thinking about it ever since, and... she was starting to think all three of them were really just in the same boat. Maybe everyone out there was in the same boat, too.
