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Dealer's Choice - Ah My Goddess WG - 02
🕑 Added 2021-04-20 14:00:00 +0000 UTCPeople often pray to a god or goddess prior to a group interview for success, but in truth the only thing that matters is standing out from the others with your own style.
Belldandy's was to be the biggest girl in the room by at least fifty pounds.
Every group panel was comprised of three interviewers whose only job was to sip coffee and snack while evaluating each applicant's slightest moves.
"So, um, Mrs Morisato, was it? Could you please introduce yourself."
The Goddess' exaggerated curves seemed to strain the buttons of her suit as she stood before the panel. The chair beneath her, pushed to its limits barely let out a creak as every molecule of its structure held itself in place to support her divine proportions.
"Oh most certainly! I'm Belldandy Morisato, Goddess First Class, Category Two, Unlimited License and it is a pleasure to meet you!"
Like the chair before it, so too did her buttons try with their absolute hardest to keep her holiness contained. Such purity was a sight for her husband alone but the prospect did not go unnoticed by panel. An older man coughed while another adjusted her glasses while attempting to avert her gaze.
Normally being a larger candidate would have been a prominent negative feature; a sign of a woman who couldn't control her appetite or her life was a clear liability. However, there was something oddly alluring and calming about her presence which seemed to draw in everyone around her and that wasn't even meant to be a jab at her size.
"Every office needs a larger girl," one female interviewer whispered to her collogue. "She's got a good sense of humor to introduce herself with a joke too."
"Yes, we have been receiving a lot of pressure to diversify our hiring policies..."
Even out of the corners of their eyes, they felt drawn back towards Belldandy's simple but radiant smile. An incredible pang of guilt simultaneously shot through the interviewers for having even risked missing a moment of her presence.
"Okay, moving on....Have you had any experience before? If so, what would you say is your greatest strength?"
Belldandy considered her answer.
"Well, I have done a lot of things to help people in need."
"Oh, she's a volunteer! That sounds great for public relations!"
The interviewers found themselves leaning in closer, enraptured by her smile.
"As for strengths, I have often been told that I am quite forgiving!"
There was conviction in those words. Normally applicants would lie or embellish things to further their goals to impress others but this woman did not appear to have even the slightest shadow of doubt upon her.
And then it clicked.
Those rounded cheeks and that double chin, coupled with that all seeing yet merciful smile was like staring into the face of one who had achieved enlightenment beyond the years capable of a human lifespan.
"I-I see," agreed the two interviewers shakily, unsure of what to make of such a broad statement. They turned to the third member on the panel. "Um, w-would you like to ask Mrs Morisato anything more?"
The third interviewer who had yet to say anything to her collogues buckled. She was a chubby woman, roughly Belldandy's size, with thick glasses that hid her expression. The sound of a chair screeched across the floor, much to the surprise of the others as she immediately sunk to her knees with her hands clasped in obedient prayer.
"I'M SO SORRY!"
The other two members of the panel reeled back in shock. The other female interviewer attempted to console her stricken collogue.
"I-is now really the time? W-w-what are you sa-?"
"THIS MORNING! I WAS THE ONE WHO TOOK THAT EXTRA CHEESE DANNISH FROM THE BREAKFAST TRAY! I KNEW THAT IT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE AND I WANTED EVERYONE TO BLAME YOU BECAUSE THEY WOULD THINK THAT I WAS A PIG FOR EATING MORE THAN MY FAIR SHARE."
The third interviewer began to sob loudly and uncontrollably.
"WORKING HERE IS SO STRESSFUL! I COME HOME LATE EVERY DAY AND I NEVER GET TO SEE MY HUSBAND OR MY CHILDREN! EATING IS THE ONLY THING I CAN DO FOR FUN BUT I'M SO WORRIED THAT I'LL BE CALLED FAT! THEY ONLY PUT ME ON THIS PANEL BECUASE THEY WANT ME TO FIND MY OWN REPLACEMENT SO I TRIED TO TAKE CANDIDATES FATTER THAN ME BUT I JUST CANT LIE TO THAT FACE!"
Belldandy could not abide by any sort of suffering. She approached the desk and bowed low, placing a chubby hand on the woman's shoulder.
"The important part is you said you're sorry. Everything will be fine now, since your forgiveness has been approved!"
Calm washed over the room as a golden light bathed both applicants and interviewers alike. Happy memories flooded the minds of everyone's collective consciousness, causing all fatigue or distress to evaporate from the very hearts of those who bathed in her radiance.
The interviewer turned back to her collogues, wiping away her tears as she stared at them with the utmost conviction. She knew what she had to do.
"Give her my job. Effective immediately."
"B-but madam vice-president! You run this company's public relations! We need full board approval in order to do that! Where are you going to go?!"
The woman looked towards Belldandy who only continued to smile benevolently.
"I'm going to have a large lunch and then spend time with my family like I always wanted to."
With the rustling of a hastily gathered coat and bag and the sound slamming of the door, she was gone. The two remaining interviewers simple sat and stared at the chubby goddess who did not seem in the least bit perturbed by the events they had all just witnessed.
"So....I guess you're hired?"
