Estella Rolls
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Friend in need part 2
🕑 Added 2018-12-22 10:32:59 +0000 UTCHer devotee friend told her these trolls are out there and that they give devotees in general a bad name. She tried to put it out of her head and he always knew to make her feel at ease when they chatted about these subjects. They could call each other virtual friends, after months chatting in this online chatroom. She asked for a picture of him because his profile was anonymous. He created a fake profile with a fake name and no pictures to be in contact with other devotees and women in a wheelchair. Like most other devotees that was the safest way to explore the internet without being vulnerable. He has a family and he is married but his interest in paraplegic women kept him awake many nights. Nobody knows about it except the few contacts online. For him it’s a secret life, he wishes he did not have these feelings but for years it’s been a secret obsession. It must be hard living like this she always said that to him. She recognizes the struggle of something you don’t choose to have. At the moment he is in contact with 3 women in online world. They are all paraplegic and he chats with them about their struggles and he enjoys watching their pictures on social media. Especially when the feet are visible.
He hopes one day to meet one of them. Just meeting for a drink like friends, that is already enough. She asked him ‘what if that meeting would cause you to want more?’. Then what?
She has an open mind and she is not afraid to ask direct questions. Sometimes he doesn’t want to talk about it. He often struggles with what he really wants.
So one day he opened his account and thought, I want to meet one of these women. I want to see in real life what it’s like. In his mind he created this set up for a meeting. He felt nervous and exited thinking about it. So he decided to ask one of the women, this first attempt felt strange.
He started the conversation as usual and after an hour he typed.. Would you like to meet me?. He waited for reply. His heartbeat went so fast, his hands were getting sweaty. In the meanwhile his wife was out of the house with his kids while he had a afternoon for himself. It felt wrong but he also wanted to experience this so badly.
He did not get a reply, not even after 30 minutes. He logged off, a bit disappointed and just wondering if he scared this woman off. This woman he tried asking was in her mid 30. She is also married and they have been in contact for almost 3 years. Her husband knows about her chatting to him online. He never told his wife, she would never understand it. He loved her and just knows it will hurt her so bad. So he have been keeping it to himself all his life.
A week went by and he logged in on the platform. He had one message. He hopes it is a reaction to his question but its not. It’s his new favorite contact, they have been chatting now for four months. She is young and in the pictures she looks beautiful. They start a conversation and after a while he just feels to get this weight of his chest. He just decided to ask her what she thinks about his situation that’s been keeping him busy for days now. She tells him to don’t worry and that this woman in probably busy or overwhelmed. He thinks she is probably right and maybe it just needs time. Some how he feels 10 times better and then after chatting for an hour she tells him about this situation she is in. She tells him she has got an offer from another devotee. This devotee wants to meet her for two hours and he would pay generously. He feels a little jealous while reading this. ‘And will you meet him?’ he asks. She says; ‘No, I don’t know’.
It is scary to meet with a stranger and the money is interesting but she is just confused by what she will have to do in those 2 hours.
She says; ‘What does this guy expect from me? I told him it has to be in public and non-sexual. This guy he seemed to agree but had one request.. he wants to take me to a shoe store and help me to try on shoes. I know he will be turned on by this’. She adds some emojis, one crying and one is confused.
He reads it twice and before he can reply, his wife enters the room. He quickly clicks on some documents he is pretending to be working on.
A few hours later this chat with this girl is inside his head. She is thinking about going to meet this guy and while he didn’t even got a reply from the “friend” he was asking a week ago.
Later that night when he is over-thinking in bed while everybody is asleep, he sneaks out of bed into his study room and goes on his laptop to reply on this conversation from earlier that day.
He says; ‘I wish I could meet a girl like you. I think you should only meet if you feel comfortable meeting this guy and be careful. Maybe bring a friend and make sure he gives you the money beforehand’.
It is 1 o’clock at night and he doesn’t expect an answer at that time at night, but sees she is online. After 2 minutes she replies; ‘Hey you! you were gone this afternoon and we didn’t finished the conversation!! I also thought to bring a friend with me but still I don’t know because I don’t feel comfortable with this guy somehow. With you I wouldn’t mind meeting up. Btw Why are you still up?’.
He is exited sitting in the dark at night curious about this message. Why would say that? His mind is blown for a few seconds. He feels a rush and a lot of questions pop-up in his mind.
He responds; ‘Yes, sorry my wife needed me. I had to go. What do you mean with you don’t mind meeting up with me? I’m still awake because I cant keep thinking about our conversation’.
