Tilted_Axis
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Chapter 42: Atop A Pile of Rubbish, A Step Is Taken
🕑 Added 2021-01-06 07:39:21 +0000 UTCI sit in a dim cave, atop a pile of rubbish. My negating membranes are closed, yet I can still detect the faintly glowing glass orb in my hands as well as the light that leaks into the cave from the outside.
As I have several times before, I read through the orb’s instructions. Reading it at this point is more habit than anything since I have nearly memorized it. Once finished, I move to the first step, focusing on either my belly, heart, or head. But seeing that the single solid piece of my body is the kiln, my only real choice is to focus on my belly where the kiln is. This has been one of the longer steps as one has to wait until a feeling of near drunkenness overtakes them.
A swaying similar to when I was on the ship to the New World manifests. This is the step that ruins half of my attempts. The disorienting sway makes me lightheaded, and it is always quite challenging to keep focus. It seems worse today, so I have to remove myself from the trance, place the glass orb to the side, stretch my arms wide, and plant my hands flat against the floor. Indeed it does not do much, but it is all I can do to ease my mind and make it seem like I am doing something to help.
I turn to check on Gentleman Ape to ensure he is fairing well. He is lying flat on his back, one of his legs kicking and a hand clawing the air.
‘He seems to dream a lot for some reason. I wonder if I shall ever dream again since I do not sleep? I suppose it does not matter. My dreams were always scattered and outlandish, anyway. A product of my own mind, I suppose.’
With my hands planted firmly against the ground, I once more enter a half-minded trance. Around the kiln, I can feel the haze around it slow to a crawl. The lightheadedness returns, yet, this time, I manage to struggle through. The sensation diminishes, and I make it to the next step.
For this step, depending on which part of the body I focused on, I am told to act as if I am trying to close or open a hand in that portion of the body. Essentially, for me, I am to pretend to tense or relax an imaginary fist in my stomach. Terra said it might sound vague, but for her, it felt as if there was a “literal hand constructed of static” in her head, and she truly despised the sensation. I have felt this feeling a few times now and discovered it is similar to what happens if one sits on their leg or hand for a while. The difference being, this feeling is somewhere in the body that one would have never encountered it before.
As if I had reached my own “static hand” into my kiln, a feeling gradually arises. Considering the kiln is where the bulk of my sense of touch resides, it feels more akin to my entire body being squeezed by my own hand. It burns, stings, and is simply plain painful. Pain can be one of the hardest of sensations for a normal person to deal with, but if there is one thing a person can learn to overcome with enough experience, it is pain. Needless to say, I have a lot of experience in that area. When the painful sensation has been amplified to its uppermost extent, it is time for the final step.
At this step, one might start to feel “swollen,” is how Terra described it. Others might feel malnourished; it varies between people, she wrote in her orb. As for me, I am certainly the former, as at this step, I feel as if the kiln is about to burst.
The message goes on to state that my goal is to either free or crush the Mana until I do not have the feeling of being “swollen” any longer. This sensation is a product of the “static hands” squeezing; as Terra puts it, the Mana is resisting being forced out of its inherent shape. Someone with overly compressed Mana would venture to pull it apart, while someone with expanded Mana endeavors to squish it. The more the Mana is molded, the easier this will be the next time.
I clutch the static hand around my kiln, at least, I think I am since the feeling of being “swollen” is worsening, so I presume it is working. This is only the third time I have been to this step, and it is here that Terra said most people would lose consciousness if they pushed themselves too hard. Except, I have only ever lost consciousness once, and that was when I used all my Mana weeks ago. Which makes me believe that I am unlikely to pass out even if I push myself. Since I seem to have an advantage for once, I am certainly going to use it.
Time passes, light from the outside enters and dims. My focus is worsening, and the feeling in my kiln is becoming more and more overpowering. When I think I cannot go much longer, I give one last firm squeeze of the static hand, and I feel something give a little. This almost causes me to lose focus. At first, I try to goad myself onward with determination, but when that fails, I resort to pure and unbridled stubbornness. Something within me collapses—a bang echoes. The pain vanishes, and the air around me seems to become almost lighter.
The appearance of the Cosmic System removes me from my daze. Studying the message, I leap up from the ground. ‘Huzzah! I thought I was simply learning to control the Mana leakage, not learning how to do Magic! I cannot wait to inform Terra! Whenever that shall be…’
I reread the message and start pacing around the cave. ‘Magic! If this is how Magic works, it is nothing like the Witches from the stories. The stories made it out to be things like rituals, sacrifices, contracting with demons, and such. Unless I am misunderstanding, I do not see any of that sort of thing.’
Hearing something moving around, I realize Gentleman Ape’s has awoken at some point. I look over to see him standing with his back against the cave wall, gawking at something and shaking as if he is freezing. I follow his gaze, which leads me to where I was sitting only a moment ago. The once flat ground, ceiling, and walls have fractured and pulled toward me; it resembles a broken apart dome. The rubbish I was sitting atop has now all been warped out of shape, leaving only the glass orb totally intact.
‘How did I not notice such a thing!? Was that the bang!? That did not happen the previous times!’
Picking up the glass orb, I try to go back through the information given to me by Terra. When I entreat the orb to show me the familiar wall, the orb becomes much brighter than it has on previous occasions and the wall that appears is not what I expected to see.
‘What does this mean?’ The small blue wall disappears, and the familiar information takes its place. I read through the steps she gave me, finding everything is the same. Except, at the bottom, I notice something in the lower corner in small letters that reads, “Make sure you read this, Constance! To go to the next page, press here.”
‘Next page…? A second wall perhaps!’ Lifting my little finger, I do as the message says.
A wall that I have not seen before appears. Tilting my head, I study it closely. ‘What!? Sent ten days ago; I am certain that was not there ten days ago! That was before she disappeared, and she said she would inform me of this, which I do not believe to be the case!’
Thinking back to the last time we met, I realize the reason we never had this discussion. ‘...I suppose since that Bishop interrupted our talks, she simply did not have the opportunity to inform me of this. She does usually tell me this kind of thing right before we separate.’
I press the wall once more. The orb glows radiantly, illuminating the entirety of the cave.
‘Is this what she meant? That the new wall would not appear until I was “stable.”’ Feeling a sting in my kiln, I try to remove my hands from the orb, finding I cannot. ‘Have I been tricked!’
I continue to try and remove my hands as a short, thin line of violet fire exits the kiln. It crawls up my chest and into my arms. I hit the orb against the wall but cannot produce the force to break it. When that fails, I seize it with the cattail and pull. My hands are torn from my arms, but the fire does not seem to mind this. Instead, it turns and moves away from my arms and into the cattail.
‘Release me!’
Hitting the cattail against the wall, I cannot force the orb to release it nor break it. The flame starts to move at a much faster speed once it enters the cattail. Finally, the fire shoots into the orb, and its color changes to a mix of purple and blue, and a wall of the same color develops.
When the wall returns to its former blue color just before vanishing, the orb releases the cattail and plops to the ground. I place a hand on my chest. ‘That was… concerning. I need to be more cautious when it comes to these sorts of things.’
Shaking my head, I shuffle toward the orb, poke it a few times, and then lift it in my hands once more. I return to the original message, finding a new line has been added to the end. It reads, “There have been rumors that after some people contracted or expanded their mana, it damaged the environment around them, so make sure you’re somewhere isolated that you don’t mind getting damaged.”
‘That would have been helpful a tad sooner! Gentleman Ape nearly fainted!’ My eyes move downward, and I notice something.
‘Another message telling me to ‘press here’ does that mean there is a second wall again?’ I hesitate, but seeing that it already had the chance to trick me a moment ago, I resolve to press it again. The wall changes, revealing a rather long list of detailed and drawn out instructions. My eyes glass over and drift back up to a note at the top.
‘So she already suspected something like this may happen; that she may disappear. To be honest, this message only makes me more concerned.’ Crossing my arms, my shoulders drop. ‘Terra, thy life seems far too complicated… I suppose that would ring hollow for someone such as me to say. My life was always complicated. I am just used to being the one who disappears and not the one who is disappeared on.’
Trying to read the fresh batch of instructions right now makes me desire to curl up in a ball after only just acquiring the new skill I worked so hard for. But, regardless, I can tell the goal of the instructions is to essentially help me learn how “write” in the messenger orb as if it is paper. The instructions state it takes a lot of concentration for a beginner to do so, and it is good practice.
I look toward Gentleman Ape, finding him sitting on the floor with his hand on his chest. ‘I must have scared him worse than I imagined… and I have never seen him do that before? Is he trying to imitate me? Perhaps it is just a coincidence.’
Setting the orb aside, I grab a pudding from our food supplies. I pretend not to notice all the rubbish and missing food items that he likely ate while I was working on my Mana. I toss the pudding to him, and without a second’s hesitation, he sits up, catches it, and rips it open. With his fear pacified, I move onto the next order of business. ‘I want to check on the seed, which reminds me I still have side tasks I need to complete. Also, I need to start thinking about new adaptations. Except, I have nary an idea of how to get more Essence. Mayhaps there is another “café” place somewhere in the park?’
I check the light at the cave’s entrance, discovering it seems to be some time in the middle of the night. This means I have been doing this for nearly a full day, much longer than I realized. Hearing Gentleman Ape grunt happily and lick the bottom of the pudding cup, I turn, point at him, and then at the ground. ‘I shall come back for thou at a later time. It is far too cold.’
Attempting to depart by myself, Gentleman Ape tosses the empty cup to the side and follows. When he does so, I stop him. I point at him and then at the ground, shaking my head while I do so. He slaps the ground, screeches at me.
When I repeat my action from a moment earlier, he slaps the ground once more and runs to the rubbish pile in the corner of the cave. Wrapping a rubbish bag around himself, he hits his chest and waits to see what I do next.
‘...His temperament grows more obstinate every day.’ Walking over to the pile of bags we scavenged, I take one, stuff it full of his bedding and flatten it. Carefully I wrap and tie it around him. ‘Come on, little hairy one, I have never been one to stop someone from making their own mistakes. Though be warned, any consequences of such choices are thy own to bear.’
Grabbing the rubbish sled, we exit the cave.
