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Humans Don't Hibernate [Part 115/?]
🕑 Added 2024-10-08 22:25:34 +0000 UTC102 Hours After the First Round of Interloper Interrogations. UNAFS Perseverance (HSR) - Shuttlecraft - 01. On Final Approach to Shuttle Bay 1.
Lysara
“What’s… what’s even real anymore, Lysara?”
“We are.” I responded without hesitation, those two words emerging as abruptly as the reflexive thought that spawned them.
This was one of those rare few instances where my desire to act was able to overpower my tendencies to overthink.
“That’s the one thing they can’t take from us.” I continued. “I know I’ve mentioned it before, but it warrants mentioning again — I understand what you are currently going through Evina. I… empathize and sympathize intrinsically.” I took a moment to breathe, setting the navigation systems to autopilot, with Vir at the helm to correct for any minor deviations, allowing me to focus fully on the felinor’s plight. “I lived an entire life under their control, or at the very least, a life spent in varying states of manipulation; directly and indirectly. The very fabric of my society was artificially induced. My culture consisted of varying degrees of patchwork reformations all with the intent of control in mind. Which meant that for all intents and purposes… thousands upon thousands of years of my life was in some way part of the interloper’s malicious manipulations.”
I took another breath, steadying myself in my seat. “But that doesn’t take away from the person that emerged from that mess, the person who woke up from that sleepless slumber. What defines us isn’t just nature or nurture, or in this case, Vuarks and social control. Rather, what defines us, is something in between. The mere act of living, which generates unique instances beyond the mechanisms of control of either Vuark or social manipulation. Because as much as the interlopers desire it, they simply cannot overcome that which is the most basic fundamental force in the universe — uncertainty and unpredictability.” I practically sang out, as my eyes never once wavered in their connection with the felinor.
“These often overlooked elements of reality tug and pull at an otherwise well-oiled machine, causing it to twist and tear in ways perhaps unforeseen in any predictive models. This can be seen in everything, from the largest of paradigm-shifting events, to our own personal struggles. From humanity’s rise to prominence within the lull of a single hibernation cycle, to the cumulative effects of countless years' worth of independent decision making processes resulting in personalities distinct from interloper control — it’s clear that what seems to be control is simply just an illusion. Whilst there may be elements of your life that spawned as a direct result of their meddling, so too are there aspects of yourself completely divorced from it, Evina. This means we ultimately have a choice, to either dwell in uncertainty, or to retake control and ownership of those aspects of our lives that are still our own.”
I took a moment to pause, to allow the felinor to catch up on what was effectively months’ worth of self reflection and introspection on the nature of my own being; a journey that I’d still yet to have completed myself.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, and I apologize if I’m broaching this much too quickly.” I resumed, as the darkness of space around us grew more pronounced, given the nature of our position in the front of the shuttle; away from the back views of the planet behind us. “But what I want you to understand is that we’re both now entirely removed from the two main mechanisms of interloper control. Your ability to inherit, from what we’ve gathered, seems to be entirely unlike the Vuark. So there’s no real danger as to direct interloper manipulation on that front. And now that we’ve uncovered the mysteries of your people’s past, you’re likewise unshackled and free to operate outside of the arbitrary limitations of interloper control.”
The felinor’s expressions… remained largely the same, though her eyes had clearly shifted in their disposition. From teetering dangerously close to the brink of existential panic, to now being firmly somewhere between exhaustion and doubt. Both of which were still a marked improvement in my book.
“Ultimately… what I’m trying to get at here is this — whilst everything around us may be the result of some grand conspiracy, we aren’t. We have the ability to set our own course, to ascribe meaning to things, and to determine through our own will what we choose to value as real. And ultimately, that’s what truly matters. Our own choice to decide for ourselves, what reality is.”
A sharp silence quickly formed following my last attempt to pull Evina from the brink.
Anxiousness grew as I worried whether or not my attempts had even worked, or whether it had simply exacerbated things.
The answer to my concerns came quickly enough though, as Evina took a moment to inhale deeply, before posing a simple question.
“Do you really believe that?”
That question, in contrast to my attempts at meandering my way towards my ultimate point, managed to strike deep into my very psyche in precious few words.
It didn’t cause me to waver, however.
If anything, it forced me to once more reevaluate my standing, before pressing on with a single, affirmative nod.
“It’s not a perfect answer. And I’ll admit, I don’t claim to have all the answers, nor the right ones at that. I… have yet to have even fully come to peace with the nature of my past. However, these are the conclusions I’ve come to following my awakening. This new perspective has ultimately given me a degree of peace, and I’m okay with that.”
That answer, far more concise than everything up to this point, seemed to elicit more of a reaction from Evina. As the felinor nodded once, scrunching her features as she did so, before letting out another sharp exhale.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life, it’s that the worst sort of doubt is the doubt in your own sense of self.” She offered, before opening her eyes once more, this time without any semblance of panic within them. “The interloper may have interfered with the direction of my people, and even my life… but so long as everything here is still my own.” She paused, pointing at her head. “Then that’s what matters.”
“From the scans and tests we’ve done, we can confirm that there’s nothing to worry about on that front.” I responded, garnering another small nod from the felinor. “As for everything else, in lieu of omnipotence, the best we can do is to trust the objective facts we have on hand.”
Silence once more descended over our conversation, as I took a moment to breathe after that exercise in de-escalation; allowing Evina to gather herself in the process.
“One thing’s for certain though…” Evina began once more, her eyes now shifting towards the main viewscreen, and the ship that seemingly grew larger by the second. “The most painful part of any journey is always the first few steps… and I feel like after having lived in the dark for all my life, I’m finally taking my first tentative steps into the light.”
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102 Hours After the First Round of Interloper Interrogations. UNAFS Perseverance. Tactical and Observation Lounge.
Vir
Part of me felt guilt, remorse, and an overwhelming sense of pain for having subjected Eslan to what was in effect, a deconstruction of his very being.
This was in spite of Eslan’s vocal reassurances where he confirmed his willingness to watch everything unfold.
Yet another part of me felt not only confident, but steadfast in my resolve for doing exactly that.
And whilst my emotions trended towards the former, I knew that practically, I should be feeling at least some of the latter.
This was because Eslan, above all else, deserved to know the truth.
Everyone had the right to understand the circumstances of their emergence, birth, or in this case — creation.
To be otherwise oblivious to it, especially in the case of Eslan whose future was so intrinsically tied to his past, would be a mistake of the highest order.
This was because in order to move forward, or to build anything resembling structure, you needed to have a solid foundation.
Eslan now had that.
Though I knew that this was at the cost of his current frame of reference, and the pain that came with it.
So I remained present, my primary platform never once leaving his side as we watched the live feed from the world below. My hand seemingly in constant contact with his own, as his grip grew tighter and tighter following every new development.
The felinor saw everything. From my entry into the clandestine facility-within-a-facility, to the discovery of Eslan-secondary, all the way to the admission of Eslan’s own origins… every single one of the reality shattering truths were made clear for Eslan to see.
He’d remained silent up until the final reveal… and he’d broken down following my dispatching of the cyberbeast’s fate.
I spent the next half hour or so consoling him, as he once more returned to a silent state of introspection following that breakdown.
Though as Lysara and Evina now returned, he finally broke his silence, turning towards my platform with sunken bloodshot eyes.
“Thank you for ending it.” He spoke under a hushed and strained breath.
“I only regret the fact I hadn’t done it sooner.” I responded confidently, reaching a hand towards the felinor’s back, and patting him gently. “Eslan… I’m sorry I showed you everything there was to see throughout the campaign. I—”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” The felinor interjected. “I was the one to agree to it, remember? I… wanted, no… needed to see. And I got exactly what I asked for — the truth.”
I allowed the felinor’s words to hang in the air for a moment, just for it to sink in, before responding.
“That alone makes you braver than at least half of all of the people I’ve met in my many years of uptime.” I responded tactfully and with a dip of my head.
“You don’t need to patronize me, you know.” Eslan rebutted.
“I’m not patronizing you, Eslan. I’m being serious.” I craned my head towards the felinor, my ‘features’ shifting to one of blank seriousness, with little room for misinterpretation. “There are… a surprising amount of people out there who would rather live in the dark with their heads buried in the sand, so long as it means they’re not exposed to inconvenient and painful truths. You had the opportunity to simply walk out, to turn off the screen, to slowly ease yourself into these truths or outright ignore them.” I once more paused, stopping at the elevator, and delaying its arrival; if only to allow the conversation the breathing room it needed.
DING!
“Yet you didn’t. Instead, you persevered, allowing yourself to see it all, the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. I admire your resolve, Eslan. I admire your strength to see things through to the end not just for the sake of curiosity, but for the sake of reaching that most noblest of goals — the truth. And if that’s not worthy of some genuine praise, then I don’t know what is.”
The felinor took an elevator ride to process that, and remained silent until we finally reached our destination.
“Thank you, Vir.” He finally spoke up, just as the shuttle was right about in visual range. “Thank you, for showing me the truth, and for being there for it every step of the way.”
I once more turned to face the felinor, a cheerful visage now dominating my entire screen-face. “Like I said, I’m a sapient of my word. I’d allocate any and all processing power at my disposal if it meant I can help. That’s just what friends are for, after all.” I responded with a cheerful chirp, garnering a nod and a squeeze of my hand from the felinor.
