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Wearing Power Armor to a Magic School (118/?) Revised Version

🕑 Added 2025-03-01 20:54:39 +0000 UTC

Comments

TheEagerReader

I agree. That last line is an awkward cliff hanger

ANTIcarrot

> “This. Is. UNACCEPTABLE!” The Vunerian screamed. Having seen the opening of 119... This sentence makes no sense, and doesn't serve any useful purpose, and is a bit confusing in context of what follows. Illunor being unhappy isn't even a good cliff hanger. I think it would be far better to tell us what Illunor is upset about. Or at least tell us what he's not... "I am perfectly calm Cadet Emma Booker. And that is not the cause of my current righteous fuming. The Library understands the value of rules of decorum, however esoteric its own are. No, my current disapproval is reserved for those who very clearly do not. This situation is unacceptable! And we are going to fix it!" Or something like that.

Michael Halpern

yeah saving the exposition on the dexterity check for conversation helps the flow

King Jerkera

Lizard she can’t control of this situation on the fly.


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