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Backup Girl - Ch. 03 (8.5k words)
🕑 Added 2024-09-24 02:42:05 +0000 UTCFour years after prom night, Eddie is moving out. Jason is there to help.
hello babes new BUG for you!!! hope you enjoy. not much to say about this one except sorry for the wait!!
cw: sex scenes, dysphoria, ed/body dysmorphia hinted at?? and of course my beloved internalised transphobia and f-slurs <3 i'm in my angst era ig sorry!!!
Eddie should’ve been all moved in by 8:30, but it’s almost midnight by the time he dumps the last box – KITCHEN: APPLIANCES – onto his kitchen counter. That’s the downside of asking Jason for help. Yes, he’s strong, and he was able to borrow his uncle’s pickup so Eddie didn’t have to rent a Uhaul, but somehow everything takes three times as long. It’s not a bad thing, though. Four years out of high school, they’re still best friends, and an hour of goofing around with Jason feels like five minutes. It’s fun. That’s all it is. They’re friends, and they have fun together, and Eddie can let his guard down and be himself and joke around without worrying about, for example, people making fun of the way he laughs.
Sometimes Jason gets a little too flirty, but that’s easy enough to shut down.
“Great work, buddy,” says Jason. He smacks Eddie on the butt as he passes, flashing him a cheeky grin like he didn't mean anything by it. He hops up on the counter next to the box of kitchen appliances.
God, whatever. Eddie’s too tired to tell him off, and it doesn't really matter now anyway. From now on he’ll be living under a different roof to Jason for the first time since high school, and that sends a clearer message than words ever could.
Besides, Jason spent all day helping him move when he could've been out chasing tail. Let him flirt a little. He’d probably explode otherwise.
“Thanks, dude,” says Eddie, “I really appreciate you helping out like this.”
“No sweat. I mean, y'know, some sweat,” Jason shrugs and picks at his t-shirt. It’s a little damp from all the exertion , “But what's a little sweat between friends, right?”
“Uh-huh,” Eddie raises an eyebrow. That was pushing it.
Jason grins and leans against the box, like he's totally unaware of how it makes his shirt ride up and show off a sliver of his abs. Eddie blushes and looks away. Not tonight! New place. New start.
“Couple of beers would probably hit the spot right now,” says Jason.
“Oh, right!” says Eddie. That was the deal, after all. Jason would've helped him for free, but Eddie wanted to make things clear. Jason was being paid in beer, not in anything else.
The minifridge is one of the first things they brought in (it’ll do until Eddie can properly furnish this place), and Eddie made sure to load some beers in there while they were moving everything else. They're frosty cold now, and he tosses one to Jason with the pride of a good host. Jason catches it and looks around.
“You got a bottle opener?” he asks.
“Oh, shit,” says Eddie, “Okay, it's in one of these boxes…”
It would be the one marked KITCHEN: CUTLERY, which has got to be around here somewhere. While he's searching for it, Jason pops the box next to him and looks inside.
“Hey, you little bitch!” he laughs, “You took the waffle iron?”
Eddie snaps upright, “It's mine, isn't it?”
“No way!” Jason says, “When's the last time you ate a waffle?”
“I don't know,” Eddie says, “Maybe I'll start.”
“Eddie, c'mon,” Jason pouts, “Waffles are the only thing I know how to cook. I'm gonna starve to death.”
“Maybe Nick can cook for you,” Eddie offers.
Jason throws his hands up in despair, “Not only do I lose my waffle iron, now I gotta eat Nick's bum-ass cooking?”
Eddie giggles. Honestly, it's probably better to lay off the waffles anyway. And he shudders to think what sort of nightmare creation Nick and Jason would make if they actually tried to cook.
“Okay, fine,” he says, “You can keep the waffle iron. I'm pretty sure that was a gift from my mom, though.”
“Your mom always liked me,” Jason smirks. Eddie bursts out at that, because it is very much not the case.
Oh, there it is. He spots the cutlery box over Jason's shoulder. Jason left it with the other boxes piled up in the living room, for some reason. The boy just cannot follow instructions.
Eddie goes to the box and searches through it for the bottle opener. Jason calls out over his shoulder.
“You know what I'm really gonna miss?” he says.
“What?”
“Your bed, dude. It's way more comfortable than mine, I swear.”
Eddie's smile drops. He keeps searching in silence, finds the bottle opener, and walks back to Jason with a stony face.
Jason smiles at him innocently. He's still sitting on the counter, legs spread casually. He props out his beer at waist height, angled towards Eddie’s face.
Eddie snaps off the lid.
“Thanks,” says Jason. Eddie glares at him as he takes a sip. He tilts his head like a curious dog, “You're not having one?”
“No,” Eddie says bluntly.
“You don't wanna christen this place?”
“No, Jason.”
“Okay, okay,” Jason laughs, “I get it. It's been a long day.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Yeah, I just…” his smile slips a bit, “Y'know, end of an era. You got your new job. New place. It's like, are we still gonna hang out?”
“Aw, Jason,” Eddie almost reaches out for him, but catches himself just in time. Still, he gives Jason an encouraging look, “We’re still gonna be, you know…”
“Best friends,” Jason offers.
“Exactly,” says Eddie, “But, you know. Friends. Just friends. Normal guy friends.”
“Oh, dude,” Jason says, “Is that what this is about? Shit, Eddie, if you wanted to stop messing around like that, you coulda just told me. I woulda stopped.”
Eddie scoffs. Like he never tried that before.
“Yeah, that's what you say,” he says, “And then your girlfriend dumps you, or a date falls through, and suddenly you're in my bed, and I'm wearing panties, and your dick is in my mouth. So.”
Jason laughs, “Okay, it does seem to happen a lot.”
“I just think it's better for me to have my own place,” Eddie presses on, “So we don't get… confused. I mean all that stuff, it's not me, you know?”
“Right,” Jason nods slowly, “I get it.”
He rubs the neck of his beer with his thumb. He hasn't had a second sip yet. Eddie’s heart is racing. He really wasn’t expecting to have that conversation tonight. But it went well! He said everything he wanted to say, and he didn't make too much of a fool of himself, and he didn't let himself get… distracted.
Jason takes a slow sip of his beer, eyes downcast. Oh, god. It feels illegal for someone that handsome to be sad. Eddie knows this is the right thing, and he knows, honestly, Jason is probably playing him right now. But still, part of him feels awful. Like not wanting to dress up like a girl and suck Jason's dick is somehow selfish.
“But we’re still best friends, right?” says Eddie, and this time he does reach out, but Jason's busy drinking, so he awkwardly rests his hands on Jason's thighs. He squeezes softly, comforting, his fingertips way too close to Jason's crotch.
Jason lowers the bottle and smiles.
“That's all I wanted, man,” he says, then smirks, “I mean, I'm not gonna pretend I won't miss it.”
“Yeah, well!” Eddie smacks Jason's thighs briskly, “That's life, buddy. End of an era. Not doing that anymore.”
“Got it,” says Jason.
“Good,” says Eddie. He withdraws his hands and fidgets nervously, “So, y'know, thanks again for helping me move, and, uh, you know, help yourself to the rest of the beers, and…”
“Yeah, thanks,” Jason hops down off the counter, “Sorry it went so late.”
“That's fine,” Eddie sighs, “But, yeah, I should…”
“You sure you're not gonna have one?”
“No, yeah, I'm good,” Eddie says quickly. God, the longer this conversation goes on the more flustered he feels. And Jason can tell, they've known each other too long. He doesn't even need to say anything, he just looks at Eddie all cool and confident, and it makes everything a hundred times worse. Suddenly Eddie’s aware of how much he's been sweating, and not all of it is from lifting boxes. He just needs Jason out, out, out. “I'm gonna have a shower and get some sleep.”
“Yeah, cool,” Jason tilts his beer, “I’ll just finish this.”
“And head home,” Eddie finishes.
“Yeah,” says Jason. He opens his arms. Eddie hesitates for a second, but no, it's weirder not to hug him, right? He steps forward and Jason wraps his arms around him, folding Eddie against his chest. He's so warm, musky, firm. Eddie feels lightheaded, and for a moment he takes a deep breath and just sinks into the hug. But then he pulls himself together and steps back, giving Jason a brotherly clap on the shoulder.
“Okay!” he says, “Shower time. See you later, dude.”
“Yeah,” says Jason, “See you real soon.”
.....
Eddie stays in the shower long enough to be sure Jason has left. It gives him time to think.
This really is for the best. Things are going well at the new job, where he's just an accounts clerk, not the owner’s nephew's friend from high school. He's making a name for himself. Independent. It's been a long time coming. Even in high school, most people knew him as Jason’s friend.
And he's still Jason's friend! He remembers the hurt on Jason's face and feels a little sick. But they can be friends without doing all that. That was never part of their friendship at all until senior year, and honestly, what happened on prom night should've ended it for good.
Well, now it's over. Fresh start. If Jason needs someone to cheer him up there are plenty of girls who would leap at the chance.
Eddie hears a distant clanking, which must be Jason gathering his beers. Good. That's good. Eddie bites his lip.
Showering seemed like such a smart idea. The scalding hot water was meant to distract him, was meant to drown out the thoughts of Jason along with the sound of his voice and the smell of his sweat. But now Eddie can't get it out of his head just how naked he is, just how close Jason still is, only a single thin wall separating the bathroom from the kitchen. Jason's right there in the other room, pent up, horny, muscles pumped from moving boxes, and Eddie is here, exposed and wet and waiting…
Eddie whimpers softly. He's not supposed to be having these thoughts. God! If Jason had just kept to the schedule he would be in bed by now. The thought makes his heart quicken and he whines in frustration. Alone! He would be in bed, alone!
A door slams in the other room. Jason is gone.
Eddie moans with humiliated defeat as his hand dives for his raging dick. He shouldn't do this, he shouldn't! What he does with Jason is bad enough, but at least it feels amazing in the moment. Jerking off to the fantasy never hits the same, it always leaves him feeling sick and pathetic and empty. But god, isn't he already? Doesn't he need Jason to fill him up?
Eddie gasps into the steaming rainfall of the shower. He moves his hand faster and faster, in tight, desperate, greedy little strokes. With his other hand he fumbles for body wash – BATHROOM: TOILETRIES made it to the right destination, at least – and clutches the bottle to his chest. pumps out a messy load, letting it drip down his tummy, down his shaved-smooth crotch, running in slippery rivulets though his needy fingers.
God, there would be no explanation if Jason walked in right now. Of course, in his mind's eye, Jason is already here.
Eddie shuts his eyes tight, whimpering as he imagines it. Jason, just outside the shower, watching him with that knowing smile. Only Eddie’s not the hopeless loser jerking off in the shower right now. She's beautiful, petite and rail-thin with soft perky breasts. Jason is just Jason, of course, already perfect. He's naked now too, and he joins her in the shower, cupping her cheeks with his hands to kiss her like he did the first time, all those years ago.
“Jason…” Eddie whines softly.
It feels wrong to say his name out loud. It's so desperate. Obsessed. But somehow that makes it hotter. In her head Jason scoops her up, pressing her tiny body against the wall, crushing her breasts against his manly chest. She wraps her legs around him and moans – in real life, too, leaning back against the cool tiled wall – as she feels his hard cock pressing against her.
“Fuck me, Jason!” she gasps
Jason’s strong hand grips her dainty thigh, spreading her apart further, lining her up for him. Her own hand slows. She's already close to the edge but she wants to picture this moment, wants to feel him entering her. Her other hand dips into the slippery mess between her legs, coating her fingers in slick lubrication, then draws back, behind her, slipping between her cheeks. She teases at her own eager hole, gasping at the sensation. It's so wrong. So dirty. Jason's cock presses tightly against her, and she moans and slides a finger into herself, and he thrusts his cock into her, and when he tells her she's beautiful she cums hard, crying out his name.
“Jason, Jason!”
Her hips jab helplessly into empty space, and she pumps her finger deeper, deeper, until the trembling stops and the image of Jason fades away, and Eddie is alone in the shower again, pathetic and sticky and male.
Fuck. Fuck! Why did he do that?
The shame is overwhelming, like a spear of cold iron in his belly. He knew this was a bad idea, he knew it would leave him feeling like a disgusting faggot. Except that's not even fair. If Eddie was gay that would be one thing, but what kind of freak needs to imagine himself in a woman's body to get off? He can blame Jason all he wants, but if this is what he gets up to when he's alone it's pretty clear which one of them is the real problem. He blasts the cold water and finishes washing up in silence.
He towels himself dry – BATHROOM: TOWELS made it too – and eyes himself in the mirror with revulsion. It's a far cry from the petite girl from his sick fantasy. His body is pudgy and shapeless. His shaggy hair hangs limply around his face. It always looks longer when it's wet, but at best it’s a pathetic imitation of femininity. Not for the first time, he considers just cutting it off. Instead, he wraps it up, brushes his teeth, and puts on his robe. His clothes are all out there in the pile of boxes, so he has room in the bedroom to put together his bedframe. Ugh. That's exactly what he’s in the mood for right now.
He sighs and opens the door, turning the corner into the kitchen, and his blood runs cold.
Jason is still sitting on the counter, drinking another beer.
“Hey,” he grins, “That was a long shower.”
Jason's so casual, so at ease, that for a second Eddie thinks there's no way he could have heard him in the shower. But then, when has Jason ever not been at ease? He’s casual, yes, but Jason’s been casual with his cock down Eddie's throat.
God, not the time to think about that.
Eddie pulls his robe tighter and gives Jason a stern look.
“What are you still doing here?” he says.
“Check it out,” Jason thumbs over his shoulder. In the living room, Eddie’s bookcase stands, newly assembled, against the wall. “Ta-da.”
Eddie looks warily at the bookcase, then back at Jason, who takes an unworried sip of his beer. The bookcase is nothing special, just something cheap from IKEA. Eddie could've assembled it himself, and Jason knows this, which suggests he was just looking for an excuse to hang around. But then, it's not unlike Jason to get distracted by some random idea. It's entirely possible he really was just in the mood to put together furniture.
“Thanks,” says Eddie.
“No problem,” says Jason, “I'm surprised you didn't hear me when I was nailing on the backboard.”
Shit. Was that the slamming door Eddie had heard? And, wait, shit. Eddie can see his little rubber mallet sitting on a shelf, his toolbox open on the floor by the bookcase.
“Jason, where did you find my toolbox?” he asks.
Jason shrugs, “One of the boxes.”
“Oh,” Eddie says numbly, “That's… good.”
Jason doesn't specify a box. He certainly doesn't specify LIVING ROOM: ADMIN / MISC, which Eddie knows is where the toolbox was. Jason isn't great with reading labels. How many other boxes did he check first?
There's one box Eddie needs Jason to not have looked inside, a box whose contents would drastically undercut the statement he's trying to make by moving. Eddie knows exactly where it is, has been tracking it, paranoid, throughout the move. It's on the second layer of the pile, so there's no reason Jason should have seen it before he found the toolbox. But if he did hear Eddie in the shower, maybe he would’ve looked for it.
“I should get dressed,” says Eddie.
Jason laughs, “Hey, it's your apartment. If you wanna hang dong, feel free.”
Eddie ignores him and crosses to the pile of boxes. BEDROOM: CLOTHES is right on top and he grabs a pair of boxers and a baggy tee. The boxers are plaid and the shirt has a screaming Eric Cartman on the front. It couldn't be a less suggestive outfit.
“This place is great,” says Jason, “Good bones in these walls.”
“What?” says Eddie.
“I dunno. That's something people say, right?” says Jason.
He hops off the counter and joins Eddie in the living room, running a finger idly over the top of the boxes.
Eddie turns his back to Jason, so his robe hides his body as he steps into his shorts. He can still hear Jason pacing behind him, on the other side of the pile. He tugs his shorts up quickly, before Jason can get too bored and start searching through boxes. If he hasn't already…
“You gonna start bringing girls around?” says Jason.
“Maybe,” says Eddie, trying to keep his voice steady, inject it with some false swagger. “Now I don't have to worry about you tryna steal them from me.”
Jason laughs, “I wouldn't do that, man.”
“Sure,” says Eddie.
He slips his arms out of his sleeves, letting the robe hang from his shoulders before he yanks the shirt over his head. No part of his naked body is exposed for more than a fraction of a second. Four years of sharing a locker room with the rest of the basketball team taught him that, if nothing else.
“You’re not dating anyone, right?” Jason muses, like he doesn't already know. “It's been a while.”
Eddie gathers his robe and turns around. He feels safer now that he's clothed. Less exposed, physically and emotionally.
“Yeah, maybe seeing your relationships crash and burn so much warned me off it,” he says.
Jason clasps a hand to his chest, mock-wounded. But he's smiling. Eddie smiles back. Normal. So normal. If there was any sexual tension, it's gone now. Eddie was probably imagining it in the first place, still confused and horny after his regretful little session in the shower.
“How about you?” he says, “You said the new girl at work was pretty hot. You gonna ask her out?”
Jason chuckles ruefully, “That ship has sailed, my friend.”
“Already?” Eddie groans. “You're the worst.”
He oh-so-casually shifts the pile of boxes, exposing the top of BEDROOM: MISC.
The tape is torn.
It's been opened.
Eddie’s eyes dart up to Jason, but he's looking away, sipping his beer again. Okay. Just because he opened it, doesn't mean he found the bag.
As surreptitiously as possible, Eddie slips his hand into the box, feeling around between picture frames and extension cords. There should be a bag in here, a soft black bag full of secrets. But he can't find it. He gives up and flips open the lid to look inside.
Jason whistles, “Over here.”
Eddie looks up. Jason is holding up a black tote bag, the bag with all his girl stuff in it. He has the most infuriating smirk on his face.
Eddie's shoulders slump. Jason laughs, “That was so cute, Eddie. You were acting so cool about it.”
“It's not what it looks like,” Eddie mutters hopelessly. He can feel a sick pit opening up in his stomach.
“Hey, it's all good, dude,” Jason says. He leans across the boxes, smiling warmly at Eddie. “I’m glad you're not throwing this stuff out. You're so pretty when you get dressed up.”
“Jason…” Eddie protests.
“I know, I know,” Jason holds his hands up in surrender, “Just normal guy friends. But I'm serious, Eddie, if you wanna keep, y'know, experimenting on your own…”
“That's not what this is!” Eddie snaps. He steps back, clutching his bunched up robe to his chest. “It's just… I didn't want to be wasteful, okay? I don't like throwing stuff out. I was going to donate it, or something. I don't know. You know how expensive makeup is?”
Jason's brow wrinkles, “I didn't know you wore makeup.”
Eddie stares, “What?”
“You never wore makeup for me,” Jason says, looking a little hurt.
That’s dumb enough that for a second Eddie forgets to feel ashamed.
“Are you serious?” he says, “I wore makeup every time. What did you think I was doing in the bathroom?”
Jason thinks about it, “Hyping yourself up?”
“Did you think, what, my lashes just got thicker when I dressed up?”
“I dunno,” Jason says, “I guess you look a little different, but I thought it was just attitude.”
“Oh my god,” Eddie mutters, “I don't know how women put up with you.”
Jason shrugs, “Usually not for long.”
“Right,” says Eddie.
Jason's smiling at him again, his eyes all wide and guileless. Eddie's stomach begins to settle. Jason's not teasing him, or calling him names, and even though Eddie suspects he knows why Jason is playing nice, it's still a relief.
“So…” Jason says, “Can I see you put it on?”
“What?” says Eddie.
“Your makeup,” Jason digs through the tote and pulls out Eddie's makeup bag. He holds it up with a grin, “To see the difference, y'know? So I can appreciate all the hard work you do. I mean, did. Past tense, obviously.”
Eddie narrows his eyes. Even for Jason, this is a transparent ruse. But for some sick reason, the idea is a little enticing. He did work hard on his makeup skills, after all. Doesn't he deserve some appreciation for it?
Jason looks at Eddie with those stupid puppy dog eyes.
“I'm not getting dressed up,” Eddie warns.
“Of course.”
“And we’re not, you know,” Eddie shifts uncomfortably, “Doing anything.”
“Scout’s honor,” Jason says solemnly, “My dick will stay in my pants. I swear.”
Eddie rolls his eyes. He's going to regret this, he knows.
“Fuck, okay,” he says, “Come on.”
.....
“So, um. This is primer,” Eddie explains, holding up the tube in the mirror.
“Uh-huh,” Jason nods.
They're back in the bathroom. Eddie’s taken his towel off, and instead he’s using a headband to hold his damp hair off of his face. He's set all his makeup stuff out on the edge of the sink, and Jason is sitting on the side of the tub, watching him. It's not a huge bathroom – the new job doesn't pay that well – so as Eddie leans over the sink to watch himself in the mirror, his butt gets concerningly close to Jason's face. He tries to ignore it. Just put your makeup on, educate the ignorant douche you call a best friend, take it off again, kick him out and go to sleep. No kinky girly sex required.
“What does it do?” says Jason.
“It helps the rest of the makeup adhere to your face,” Eddie says, “So. If you need to wear it all day, it doesn't rub off as much.”
Jason tilts his head, “You been wearing makeup all day, Eddie?”
“No,” Eddie frowns, “But it also helps with…”
He trails off, blushing.
“Ohh,” Jason grins, “Yeah, I can see why you’d need that.”
“But not tonight,” Eddie says frostily.
Jason laughs, “I get it, I swear. But c’mon, I wanna see how it all works.”
Eddie sighs but dutifully rubs the primer into his face, moving his fingers in soft, delicate circles. He owes this to all the women Jason has slept with, apparently believing their faces just looked like that naturally. This is a public service.
It's warm in the bathroom. There's no fan, so the air is still a little steamy from Eddie’s long, hot shower. That's fine. They're fine.
Jason glances around the room, like he's searching for something, then looks up at Eddie.
“So is your face all sticky, now?” he asks innocently. Eddie glares at him in the mirror and he laughs, “Honest question!”
“It's not,” says Eddie.
“Not sticky?”
“Not honest. This was a bad idea, Jason. I have work tomorrow.”
“You always have work tomorrow,” Jason holds up one hand and reaches for his back pocket with the other. “Okay look, how about this. Check it. I keep one condom in my wallet, alright?”
“Jason,” Eddie says testily.
“Just hang on,” says Jason. He flips open his wallet and withdraws the condom, holding it up so Eddie can see. “Look, here it is. And to prove I'm being sincere about not trying anything tonight, I'm gonna throw it in the trash, right now.”
Eddie squints at him. Jason’s eyes are wide and innocent again. Like that means anything. But they're also bright and beautiful, deep brown scattered with flecks of green and gold.
“Fine,” says Eddie.
Jason looks around the bathroom, “You got a trash can?”
“Oh,” Eddie hesitates, “Um.”
Jason shakes his head wryly, “No trash can in the bathroom, Eddie? It's a good thing you're not having girls over. Tell you what, I'm just gonna put this… right here.”
Jason stands up and leans over, his body pressing up against Eddie’s back. Eddie stiffens, but Jason keeps his hands to himself and places the condom on the sink by Eddie's side. He pulls away, holding up his hands, like he’s showing he's unarmed.
Eddie looks at the condom in its little foil wrapper, sitting on the sink next to his brushes.
It's insane. On the surface it's insane. It's a ridiculous thing to do to anyone, and if Jason has pulled this move on other girls he’s more despicable than Eddie ever imagined. But what makes it even worse is that Eddie and Jason have never used condoms. They've only ever done hand and mouth stuff, and although their 9th grade health teacher might disagree, using protection never seemed necessary. There's no reason they would need a condom, unless Jason was hoping to take things further tonight.
Eddie turns back to him. Jason's perched on the side of the tub again, looking cozy and comfortable and almost hiding his smugness.
“You're an idiot, you know that?” Eddie says.
Jason laughs.
“I'm not letting you fuck me,” Eddie says, “Seriously.”
“Well, yeah,” Jason shrugs, “I couldn't if I wanted to. I don't have a condom. I'm just here for makeup lessons.”
Eddie grits his teeth and turns back to the mirror. He fumbles for his foundation.
It's fine. It doesn't make a difference. He's not hooking up with Jason tonight, or ever again, so Jason's actual intentions are irrelevant. And the fact that, maybe, Jason wanted to fuck Eddie in the ass… Eddie shivers. It doesn't matter.
“S-so…” he stutters, “This is foundation.”
Jason nods.
Eddie talks Jason through foundation, and concealer, and the rest of it, and the whole time Jason watches politely and doesn't make a move. It's infuriating. Every time Eddie reaches for something his hand hovers over the condom and he has to hold back from flinching, like there's a fucking static charge coming out of it, zapping his fingers as they pass by. And Jason just sits there, like he didn't basically tell Eddie he wants to fuck him. Like he’s not here in Eddie's bathroom in the middle of the night, watching him turn himself into a girl for him.
And that's exactly what he's doing, of course. Duh. Eddie can make whatever excuses he wants but they both know the truth. Eddie isn't doing this for any reason other than the fact that Jason wants him this way.
He keeps going, running mascara through his lashes, explaining the process as he goes. Jason smiles appreciatively, but his gaze keeps slipping down to Eddie’s ass. The condom sits there on the sink, crackling at Eddie’s hand as he puts down the mascara and reaches for his powder brush. Jason locks eyes with him in the mirror and a chill runs down Eddie’s spine.
“I get what you mean,” Jason says, “it makes a big difference.”
“I told you,” says Eddie, fighting to keep his voice even as he dabs powder gently over his cheeks.
“I would've fucked you before, but now I really want to.”
Eddie almost drops the brush, “Jason!”
“Hey, I'm just saying!” Jason grins, “I know it's not gonna happen, okay? I'm just being honest. I do wanna fuck you. I can't help wanting stuff.”
“You… god!” Eddie slams the brush down on the edge of the sink. His heart is fluttering, his lips curling stupidly. His fingers brush the condom wrapper and he lets them linger for a moment before he snatches his hand to his chest.
He looks in the mirror and realizes he's done too good of a job. He didn't need so much mascara, didn't need such a bold lip. It's a statement, a very different statement to the one he intended tonight to be. The baggy shirt doesn't make him look masculine anymore. If anything, he looks like a girl wearing her boyfriend's clothes, like she's just come home from the club and gotten changed for a sleepover. And Jason, sitting behind her, looks like her boyfriend. In the mirror, Cartman demands that Eddie respect his authoritah, but Eddie feels like she’s lost all authoritah of her own – of her apartment, of her evening, of her body.
Jason locks eyes with her reflection and she feels her knees go weak. Her resolve goes with them. Jason gets what he wants. He always does. Her eyes stay hooked on his, dark and intense and waiting, and she reaches down and tears open the condom wrapper.
Instantly Jason is on her, his arms around her body, his hands sliding possessively up her shirt. She gasps and closes her eyes, surrendering herself to him.
“Lube?” he says.
She gestures vaguely towards the box, “Bathroom: Toiletries.”
Jason’s body slips off her for a moment, and suddenly she's cold and exposed. But it's just for a moment, and then he's back, pressed tight against her back, bending her over the sink, slipping her boxers down. He leans over her shoulder and kisses her cheek.
“You're so sexy, baby,” he murmurs, “You were fucking killing me with the makeup thing, you little tease.”
Eddie keeps her eyes squeezed shut as Jason kisses her neck. She moans softly. Part of her wants to protest, to tell Jason she wasn't trying to tease him. But she's too tired to argue anymore. Instead she whispers, “Thank you.”
“Mm,” Jason’s breath is warm against her ear. His hand slips up under her shirt again, caressing her flat chest. Goosebumps run up and down Eddie's arms as Jason keeps talking, his voice low and husky, “I've been going crazy since I heard you in the shower.”
Eddie laughs bitterly. Of course he heard her. God, she must have looked like such an idiot, trying to act like nothing was going on.
“Don't worry,” Jason says, and she can hear the smile in his voice, “I think about you when I jack off, too.”
“Really,” Eddie says, “Not, like, Megan Fox?”
Jason laughs, “Her too, yeah. Both of you together if I'm feeling kinky.”
“You're such a douche,” Eddie smirks. She opens her eyes and watches Jason in the mirror. He has her pinned against the sink, hemmed in by his firm chest and strong arms. She can feel his cock pressing into her soft ass through the rough denim of his jeans, and she sighs with pleasure. He's so hard for her. So turned on. It makes it almost possible to believe all his syrupy compliments, to believe that she really is a beautiful woman. After all her complaining about Jason hanging around, she's suddenly grateful that he didn't have anyone better to do tonight.
“So sexy,” Jason murmurs, “I could never give this up.”
It's a weird thing to say but Eddie has more important things on her mind. She reaches up behind her, snaking her arm back, twining her fingers into his thick dark hair, and clumsily pulls him into a kiss. She can taste bitter beer on his tongue as he kisses her softly, caressing her lips gently with his own. After years of illicit hookups Jason knows just how she likes it, and his tongue dances softly with hers, instead of his old technique of plunging into her mouth as deep as he can go. But right now, Jason plunging deep inside her doesn't sound so bad.
Jason's hand is still questing inside her shirt. He squeezes her nipple and she gasps out of the kiss. She can't wait any longer. She needs this. Needs him. His other hand is on her hip, and she reaches for it and slips the condom packet between his fingers.
“You sure?” says Jason.
Eddie pulls off her headband and tosses it aside, letting her hair fall loose and free around her face. Her smokey eyes lock on Jason's curious reflection.
“Fuck me, Jason,” she purrs.
Jason grins and pulls his hand out of her shirt, tweaking her nipple roughly as he goes. Eddie giggles. She can't help herself. He's going to fuck her!
Jason drops his pants and busies himself with the condom, and she hears the liquidy crinkling as he rolls it out over his cock. Her face is getting hot and flushed. Jason squeezes lube into his hand and slips his wet, slippery fingers between her cheeks. She gasps. Her boxers are gone now, not even down around her ankles. When did that happen? Besides her t-shirt, which Jason lifts gently out of the way with his other hand, she's totally naked. Exposed. Nothing stopping Jason from taking what he wants.
He presses two fingers slowly into her.
She moans at the familiar, filling sensation. They've never gone all the way before, but this part isn't new, and it feels as good as ever. Jason's fingers are so thick, so strong, so talented, seeking out and stroking that special spot deep inside her. Eddie lets out a throaty groan as Jason presses deep, smoothly, fluidly, working her ass like a professional. She searches for his face in the mirror and has to giggle at just how focused he looks. His tongue is even sticking out a little. It's very cute.
Jason locks eyes with her and smiles ruefully. It's probably rude to giggle at someone during sex, Eddie reflects. But Jason takes it in stride.
“Does that feel good, baby?” he asks.
“Mhmm,” Eddie purrs, arching her back for him.
“Good,” Jason smirks, “Gotta get your little pussy all ready for my cock.”
Eddie moans and Jason grins, back on top. He starts spreading his fingers as he pulls back, stretching Eddie’s tight little ring every time. It hurts a little, a low ache, but it also feels strangely good. Jason's right. Her pussy needs to be ready for him.
“Fuck me, Jason,” she whispers again, “Please fuck me.”
Jason withdraws his hand and kisses her softly on the cheek. He rubs her hip, fingers still wet with warm lube.
“Deep breaths, baby,” he says. Eddie nods and obeys. He's the expert, after all.
Jason tightens his grip on her and guides his cock into place between her smooth, slippery cheeks. Eddie shivers. She can feel his head against her little hole, and it feels hard and hot and terrifyingly thick. But Jason's done this a hundred times before, she's sure. If he thinks she can take his cock, she trusts him.
“Easy, baby,” Jason says, and kisses her cheek. Eddie takes a deep breath and exhales slowly as he presses into her. God, so big, so thick, and getting bigger with every fraction of an inch, stretching her tight little pussy more and more as the fat rubbery head presses slowly deeper…
And then it pops through her ring and her ass sucks it in another inch, two inches all in one go, and Eddie lets out an embarrassing, unladylike “Ough!”
“Fuuuck, Eddie,” Jason hisses, “You're so fucking tight, fuck.”
“So big…” Eddie whimpers. She never thought Jason’s cock was all that incredibly large, but that was before it was inside her. She can barely breathe. It feels like it's up in her throat.
“Feels so fucking good, baby,” Jason strokes her side soothingly, "I'm nearly halfway in.”
“Nearly?” she chokes.
Jason laughs, “You got this, baby. It's okay.”
“Fuck, Jason,” she whimpers. He draws back a bit and his cock tugs at her. She gasps, “Fuck! More lube, please!”
“You got it, pretty lady,” says Jason. He slops more lube onto his cock, works it in around her hole with his gentle fingers, then presses slowly forward again.
Eddie lets out a long groan. It's probably not a very attractive sound but god, Jason is in her, he's fucking her, and he's filling her up so good. She's wrapped around him so tight, she swears she can feel every vein on his cock, even through the condom. He presses in slowly again and she moans, and Jason kisses her cheek and whispers sweet nothings in her ears until she can feel his body pressed tight against her back.
“Good girl,” murmurs Jason. Eddie turns her head and he kisses her softly on the lips. “You took it all.”
“Mhm,” she mumbles, still a little overwhelmed.
“You’re doing really good, Eddie,” says Jason, “You took it so well for a virgin.”
Eddie grimaces, “I've had sex, Jason.”
“With a guy?”
She sighs, “Jason...”
“I'm your first,” Jason breathes, nipping at her neck again.
“Alright,” Eddie groans, “Less talking, more fucking.”
Jason laughs and Eddie can't help but crack a strained smile. She can feel the rumble of his voice through his cock, vibrating inside her like a tuning fork. Now that she's had a moment to adjust, Jason’s cock doesn't seem so crazy big. He's molded her body to fit him. Changed her to suit his needs.
Jason pulls back and his cock rubs slow and deep against her insides. He presses back in again and she moans as he fills her.
“So hot, baby,” Jason murmurs, “So beautiful. Your sexy little moans.”
He pumps into her a few more times and Eddie lowers her head, shutting her eyes, focusing on the strange deep feeling in her ass. It's… nice. She could keep doing this for a long time.
“How does it feel, baby?” Jason asks.
“Good,” Eddie sighs, “Feels nice.”
“Hmm,” says Jason. He adjusts his angle and tries again. This time, when he pulls out, the ridge of his cock head catches something inside her, and it sends a spark through her. Her eyes snap open.
“Oh!” she gasps, “Oh fuck, Jason.”
“Yeah?” Jason grins.
“Y-yeah…” she breathes.
He does it again and that same spark goes through her, shooting up her legs, deep into her stomach, arcing down the length of her stiff little cock.
“Oh god,” she moans. Jason squeezes her hip, pulling himself back into her. She sighs long and deep as his thick cock presses that special spot again, and that's all the sign that Jason needs to pick up the pace.
“Oh god!” she gasps again. Jason pumps his cock into her, rubbing, grinding, sending tingles through her whole body. “Uhn, Jason that, uhn, uhn, fuck, th-that's so-o-o goo-oo-ood.”
“You like that, baby?” Jason gasps, “You like getting fucked?”
“Ye-essss,” Eddie moans, “Feels so, uhn, so fuck-ing…"
Her voice trails off into breathy whimpers as Jason's hand slips up under her shirt again, pinching her nipple between his fingers, rolling and squeezing. He fucks her harder, pounding her against the sink. The edge is digging into her waist but she doesn't care. All that matters is Jason’s hot cock pounding her tight wet hole, and the fierce look in his eyes as he takes what he wants.
He wants her so bad, Eddie thinks with a thrill. So many girls for him to choose from and he's here with her. Making excuses to stay with her. He heard her in the shower, humiliating herself, hating herself, and he was so turned on he just had to stick around.
She thrusts her soft ass back at Jason, urging his cock deeper and deeper. She reaches back, grabbing at his waist, trying to pull him in even more as he slams her against the sink.
“Cum. In. Me…” she pants.
Jason hisses, watching her painted lips gasp in the mirror.
“You close, baby?” he says.
Eddie shrugs, but her shoulders are shaking so much that it's hard to see. “I don't. Think. This position…”
Jason pulls out of her all a sudden, his cock tweaking her ass as it pops through her tight ring. She gasps and slumps over the sink, like a marionette that's had its strings cut. God… so empty…
“Let's go to bed, baby,” says Jason.
Eddie nods dimly and lets him take her hand and lead her to the bedroom. Her vision is spotted, like she just stood up too fast, and her heart is trying to batter its way out of her chest. Jason stops in the doorway and Eddie clings to his side, feeling wet and naked under her Cartman shirt.
“Shit,” Jason laughs, “No bed.”
Eddie sighs, “Just put the mattress down.”
“Good call,” says Jason. He lets go of her hand and crosses to the mattress. Eddie feels adrift and wobbly all of a sudden. Overwhelmed. But Jason flops the mattress to the floor and walks back to her, peeling his shirt off as he approaches. He's fully naked now, his bronzed skin gleaming. Well, not fully naked. The condom is still clinging to his cock, which hasn't deflated at all.
He wraps his hands around Eddie’s waist, smoldering into her eyes, “I’ll make the bedframe in the morning.”
“I can do it myself,” Eddie pouts, “I'm a man.”
Jason laughs, “Sure you are.”
“I am!”
“Okay,” Jason says. His hands slip down to Eddie's ass, squeezing her cheeks possessively, pulling them apart, making Eddie gasp at the cool air against her sloppy, tender hole. She drapes her arms daintily around Jason's shoulder and he smirks down at her. “Big strong man. Ready for more?”
Eddie nods, embarrassingly eager, and Jason hoists her up. She squeals and wraps her legs tight around his waist. “Jason!”
He laughs and moves to the mattress, kneeling down to lower her gently onto her back.
“This is better,” he murmurs, “Getting to see your beautiful face.”
Eddie blushes and looks away, but Jason turns her cheek back to face him. He smiles warmly and Eddie lets herself melt down into the mattress. He's so handsome. His deep brown eyes, his chiseled jaw, his gorgeous cheeky smile. That smile tweaks a little wider and Eddie narrows her eyes suspiciously.
“Normal guy friends,” Jason says. Eddie groans and covers her face. Jason laughs and pulls her hands away, kissing her on the forehead. “You love this, Eddie. You know you can't say no to me.”
“Okay, okay,” Eddie sighs, “Just… can we just have sex again, please?”
“Of course, beautiful girl,” says Jason, “Anything for you.”
Eddie’s lips curl happily and she wiggles her hips up, opening herself to him. Jason kisses her again and she sighs into his mouth as his cock presses hot and firm into her soft ass. It’s easier this time, and in a moment he's all the way in, his body joined with hers, and he begins to fuck her again with slow, languid thrusts.
God, she can't stop thinking it. He’s fucking her. Her best friend is fucking her. It feels insane. It feels impossible. It feels wonderful.
“Better?” asks Jason.
“Sooooo gooooood,” Eddie moans.
Jason smiles and lifts her shirt. She pulls it back down.
“Let me see you baby,” he murmurs.
“Mmf,” Eddie winces, “Nothing to see.”
“Come on baby. Let me see those little tits.”
Eddie glares at Jason and slaps his hand away. He slows his thrusting. He looks hurt. Puppy dog eyes. Poor thing.
Eddie’s heart softens and she relents. Her shirt is staying on, but she pulls Jason in for a kiss. His tongue is delicate, well trained, but she hums and pushes her tongue into his mouth, wet and sloppy, as far as it’ll go. He picks up his speed again, his hips smacking against the back of her thighs, and he reaches out with his own tongue, so aggressive, filling up her mouth. She giggles and sucks on it obligingly, and he does it again, licking at the inside of her cheeks. Such a bad kisser. But so much passion. She wraps her legs around his waist and squeezes him to her.
He breaks the kiss.
“You're so fucking perfect, baby,” he gasps, “Fuck. I can't believe you wanted to stop this.”
“Uh-huh,” Eddie moans. She's too exhausted for words now. Jason's fucking her tired and stupid.
Jason speeds up again, pounding her into the mattress. His cock pistons inside her, shooting hot sparks through her body. She clutches onto his back for dear life.
“We’re never stopping this,” Jason grunts, “You can move wherever you want, but you're never giving this up. Never. Right?”
Eddie frowns. Jason's never tried this type of dirty talk before, the whole possessive thing. But she knows he likes to test things out on her before he tries them with real girls.
“Say it,” Jason grunts, “Say you'll never leave me.”
“I'll, uh!” Eddie gasps, “Never leave, uhn, you.”
“Never,” Jason grunts.
“I'll never leave you, baby,” Eddie whimpers.
“Fuck!” Jason hisses, “Fuck, I'm…”
At first Eddie’s confused, and then she feels it. Jason's dick swelling inside her, pulsing, a surge of warmth barely held in by the condom. His whole body judders, his fingers grip hard into her shoulders, and then he groans, deep and satisfied, and his muscles go loose.
“Ohhh,” Eddie sighs, “You came.”
“Fuck.”
“You came in me,” Eddie murmurs to herself.
“My bad,” says Jason. His hips are still moving, but it's slower. Shaky. He looks ashamed. Eddie leans up and kisses him.
“It's okay,” she says, “It felt really good.”
“I can, uh,” Jason winces. His cock must feel tender now. “I can finish you off. Go down on you.”
Eddie crinkles her nose. “Ew.”
“I don't know,” Jason pulls out. His dick is shrinking, going limp inside the wet, heavy condom. “I could suck your dick?”
“No, faggot,” Eddie mutters. She rolls over on the mattress, looking at the far wall. Jason sighs and gets up, heading for the bathroom.
Now that she's alone, she can feel the euphoria fading. It's cold. Her stomach starts to twist. Fuck. Fuck. Why did he do that? Why did he let Jason talk him into that? He's such a fucking idiot, letting himself get carried away in his sick fantasies just because Jason needed a warm hole to dump a load in. How stupid is he? How easy is he to talk around?
Jason steps back into the room and Eddie tenses up. He can't bring himself to look at him. This is a step further than they've gone before. The other times were bad but this time Jason fucked him. How can he ever look at him again?
“Hey baby,” Jason murmurs. He kneels on the mattress, shifting Eddie’s weight towards him. “Let's get you cleaned up.”
Eddie doesn't say anything, doesn't move, but he lets Jason lift his leg up. His fingers are strong and warm against Eddie's thigh, moving him slow and gentle. He dabs between Eddie’s legs with a warm washcloth, wiping away the lube, cleaning up the mess between Eddie’s cheeks. He strokes gently against Eddie’s aching hole and she has to bite back a moan. He can feel his treacherous cock twitching.
Jason finishes up and kisses him on the cheek, “Good girl.”
“Don't,” Eddie whispers, too soft for him to hear.
Jason leaves the room again, and after a moment Eddie can hear him moving around in the living room. And then he's back, and he lays down behind Eddie and covers them both in a warm blanket. Eddie lifts his head begrudgingly and Jason eases a pillow underneath. He sighs and melts down into it, into the pillow, the bare mattress, Jason's warm body spooning him from behind.
“That was so nice, baby,” Jason murmurs.
Eddie says nothing. He’s not falling for this.
“You made me feel so good,” Jason says softly, “You're so hot. Your ass is so perfect.”
Nothing.
“You should move back in, I think,” Jason squeezes his tummy, “We’ll kick Nick out. Quit our jobs. We’ll just stay in bed and cuddle and fuck all day.”
Eddie giggles. Fuck! He can hear the smile in Jason’s voice as his hand slips down to her thigh, stroking gently up and down.
“We’ll throw out all our clothes,” he says, “Just stay naked all the time. Except you can keep this sexy South Park shirt.”
Eddie laughs out loud, and Jason takes her by the chin and turns her to face him. His eyes are warm and beautiful, and she gives in and kisses him.
Jason knows not to push it now, and his lips are soft, his tongue restrained. He pets her damp hair adoringly, then his hand drifts down, her face, her chest, lower...
“Let me take care of you,” he says, and Eddie sighs and nods.
He kisses her again as his hand wraps around her straining cock. She moans into his mouth, and it's not long before he brings her to a gentle climax, spurting weakly into his hand.
“Good girl,” he murmurs. He wipes his hand off on her shirt – poor Cartman – but she's too tired to care. It's been a long night. Eddie cuddles into his side and closes her eyes.
“I have work in the morning,” she murmurs.
“You'll be okay,” says Jason, “You're so smart. You can be late once or twice.”
“Just once.”
“Just once,” he kisses her forehead, “We’ll skip the makeup bit next time.”
She should really push back on next time, but she knows she’d be lying anyway. Instead she just squeezes his chest, snuggling tighter against him.
“Did you get the invite to Kiesha Readey’s wedding?” Jason asks.
“Mm-mm,” Eddie shakes her head. She was never as popular as Jason, despite his assholery.
“I need a plus one,” Jason murmurs, “Need to find a pretty girl to go with me.”
Eddie says nothing. Jason strokes her back softly.
“Someone to show off,” he says, “Dance with. Stop me hitting on bridesmaids.”
He plays his fingers in her hair, “Someone sexy. Who can do her makeup nice.”
“Jason?” Eddie looks up at him.
“Yes, baby?”
She hardens her eyes, “Stop being an asshole.”
Jason wilts.
“Sorry, baby,” he says.
Eddie buries her head in his chest. Jason did remind her of one thing, which is that she should've taken her makeup off. But it's fine. It's only for tonight.
They drift off to sleep, wrapped tightly around each other. In the morning, Eddie wakes up to the smell of burning waffles.
Comments
July
I haven't been able to stop thinking about this chapter since I read it—all the little bits that paint just how down bad Jason really is underneath his general dickishness make me need to know how much his thoughts here have changed since chapter two! Really want to see more of these two just being close, physically or not hehe.
Jane W.
Excellent angst, here's hoping the light is just around the corner for eddie!
Samantha Louise
Don't care inject that shit right into my metaphorical veins. I agree too no thanks!
goose
anyway thank you so much I'm glad you enjoyed!!!! and there are big life changes coming for Eddie soon....
goose
honestly I LOVE pronoun switches in the narration, it's such a cheesy technique cause it's not like we think about ourselves using third person pronouns in real life (at least I don't) but it's just such a vibe, it communicates stuff (like the dysphoric come down, and then euphoria of aftercare) so much more efficiently than words. I mean not that I've ever been particularly good at being efficient with my writing, but still. And also realistically am I going to write a sex scene from the perspective of a trans woman where I call her "he" the whole time? Uhhh no thanks.
Samantha Louise
I loved it when her internal pronoun usage switched. That dysphoria after the sex, oof poor girl needs some anticistamines and fast.
GG
This is good stuff! I hope it has a happy ending...but I'm glad we get to see the not-so-great stuff too.
July
Oh this is phenomenal again. I'm kinda obsessed with their dynamic, honestly... they're kinda obsessed with each other, too.
pho3
This chapter ignites a lot of things in me :33
