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Very early WIP - Chapter 14 v2

🕑 Added 2025-08-22 00:28:19 +0000 UTC

Comments

James MacMillan

I'd tried to write the scene as starting from the end of his 2nd trip to the room. I'll have another pass at it and see if I can clear that up. Thanks!

Christopher.g

Looking good! One thing looks a little off - as Calum returns to the bedroom it reads as if he ought to be carrying the sandwich but the sandwich is described as ‘still’ sitting on the bed uneaten when he’s only just been given it for Nicole by Mira

Tygre137

I really enjoy that each author is able to tweak thier story while still staying true to the basis, I'm quite interested in where the trip is headed, drive on!


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