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Fates Parallel Chapter 98 - Resolve
🕑 Added 2021-07-12 20:32:08 +0000 UTCYoshika sat on Jia’s bed in quiet meditation. With her domain restored, she no longer needed Eui and Jia to sit face to face to meditate, but it was a habit at this point and it just felt right. She wasn’t really focusing on anything in particular—just reviewing the lessons she had learned and internalizing the improvements she had made. Beyond that, she was also gathering essence in order to advance her cultivation. She’d been extremely focused on technique training for the last few months in order to catch up, but that was no excuse to let her cultivation fall behind.
Dae and Hayakawa were already looking towards their third stage breakthroughs, and Eunae was slowly catching up with her own balanced training. Even factoring in the large amounts of essence that went towards constructing her soulscape, Yoshika could take in essence at an incredible pace, but she had to remind herself that it wasn’t enough to simply be unique or talented—she had to work hard to make the most of every advantage she had.
Her eyebrows twitched at that thought, and her cultivation speed slowed down a bit from the distraction. It was a reminder of the harsh ‘advice’ that Hayakawa had given her earlier. Jia and Eui had both been upset about it, but for different reasons. Now that disagreement was distracting, as Yoshika’s mind wandered towards some of the other minor and major disagreements that Jia and Eui had.
Her cultivation ground to a halt as the cognitive dissonance threatened to break her link. Yoshika took a deep breath and centered herself. All cultivators had to deal with distractions, personal problems, bad moods, and any number of other issues which could hamper their meditation, but Yoshika had an additional factor that was entirely unique to her. The less unified Jia and Eui were, the slower her cultivation would become.
She’d had enough of it. It was difficult to decide whether she should simply think things through, or split up and have a conversation with herself about it—another disagreement between Jia and Eui—but in this case, she was already linked and thinking about it, so she opted for the path of least resistance.
Starting simple—Hayakawa’s not-so-gentle prodding about being overly merciful, showing weakness, and holding back against potentially dangerous foes. Jia was upset about the message—Jia wanted to rise above the kind of oppression that she had grown up under, and it seemed like Hayakawa was insisting that the only options were to oppress or be oppressed. Jia hated that.
Eui, on the other hand, mostly agreed with Hayakawa’s message. She was all for protecting the weak, uplifting the oppressed, and even showing mercy to the defeated, but she wouldn’t hesitate to meet any aggression with full force. What upset Eui was the way in which the message had been delivered.
Jia had been building trust with Hayakawa, slowly opening up, and generally making overtures of friendship. Not only had Hayakawa Kaede refused to reciprocate with even the smallest gesture of trust, she had abused Jia’s trust—taking advantage of it to attack her just to get a point across. To Eui, that alone was enough to place Hayakawa permanently as an enemy.
Yoshika furrowed her brows and tried to focus through the fuzzy feeling in her mind—the disagreement was almost physically uncomfortable. She could feel the two halves of herself trying to pull away from each other in a way that was disturbingly reminiscent of the time that she had been forcibly separated by Yue.
She took another deep breath. They were her thoughts—her feelings. It wasn’t unusual for a person to be of two minds on a subject—even if it wasn’t generally so literal. Besides, the more she considered it, the feelings weren’t entirely irreconcilable.
Yoshika could have her ideals, but she needed to protect them more fiercely. If something threatened her or her friends, then that threat had to be destroyed quickly and decisively. She couldn’t afford to hesitate if that meant killing someone in cold blood. Conversely, it wouldn’t do to hold extreme, eternal grudges over every little slight. Killing Sun Jaehwa, or even Yan Yue when they had been threats might have been acceptable, but once the threat had passed, a continued grudge was a waste of potential.
Yoshika wasn’t ever going to forgive Yue for what she had done, and with the repeated betrayals, she didn’t think she’d ever be able to fully trust her, either. That said, Yue had clearly been making an earnest effort at redemption, and her knowledge and talent made her a powerful ally. Yoshika didn’t have to like her to cooperate peacefully.
Perhaps the same could be said of Hayakawa. Her stark refusal to accept anything more than a strict, business-like relationship was troubling, and her betrayal of Jia’s trust hurt, but was it worth holding a grudge over forever? Perhaps not, but it was clear that their relationship couldn’t continue as it was. Yoshika would have to make her intentions clear, and place strict boundaries. She was not a resource to be exploited, she was a peer—a potential friend and ally, but only if Hayakawa was prepared to give back in more than simply a transactional manner.
Yoshika let out a sigh of relief as her thoughts once again became synchronized. Already she could feel the essence within her domain beginning to stir as her cultivation speed picked up. As she thought, resolving major disagreements like this was crucial to her cultivation. The core tenet of her domain was unity, and the more true to her domain—and herself—she was, the more effective her cultivation would be. No wonder Elder Qin was so particular about keeping his oaths.
She wasn’t looking forward to resolving the other problem that was pulling her apart, but there was no time like the present, and she had been putting it off for far too long. It was time to make up her mind about Hyeong Daesung. Yoshika’s first thought had been that it was a problem for Jia to solve on her own, but the more she thought about it, that had been naive.
Jia and Eui had become two parts of one whole—Yoshika. While there were still parts of her that were distinctly Jia and parts that were distinctly Eui, the line between them had been growing increasingly blurry. Even when she was separated, those distinct parts had become intermingled between her two halves. Jia would always be Jia, and Eui would always be Eui, but both of them were Yoshika, just as Yoshika was both of them.
As such, Jia’s feelings for Dae weren’t just Jia’s, they were also Yoshika’s, and therefore also Eui’s. That was a horribly complicated tangle of thoughts and emotions that threatened to shake Yoshika apart at her very foundation. There were several contradictions that were painful to even think about, but Yoshika grit her teeth in concentration, determined to get through it without splitting apart.
She started with something simple—surface level emotions. Yoshika liked Dae, he was a trusted friend and ally, and not even the Eui parts of her could disagree with that. She was also jealous of him—over her own feelings for him which was...weird to think about. Everything about this was weird to think about. The jealousy made her want to hate him, but ultimately, Yoshika still liked Dae.
Which of course brought her to the question of how she liked Dae. Jia didn’t know the answer to that question—didn’t even really know how to answer it. As a friend, certainly—but as something more? The Jia part of Yoshika drew a complete blank there, while the Eui part of her...was far less conflicted.
Unlike Jia, Eui was completely and unflinchingly confident in her sexuality. She liked girls, and she liked them exclusively. She could appreciate Dae as a friend, teammate, and ally, but that was where it ended. Eui and Jia loved each other, but while Jia was still confused about what exactly that meant, Eui was not. Eui was attracted to Jia in every sense of the word, and while she was happy to have her as a best friend and life-long partner, it was no secret that she wanted more.
Awkwardly, Yoshika realized that she had a type. Jia hadn’t even considered the fact that she resembled Sun Jaehwa—they were both short, fair-haired girls with visible expressions of their spiritual heritage. Jaehwa was lighter-skinned and bustier, but the similarities were there and Eui had definitely noticed.
Yoshika sighed. Her cultivation had halted entirely now, and she was getting nowhere—and also a bit flustered. She tried shifting to a more practical approach to the situation. What kind of relationships could Yoshika even have? A romantic relationship between Jia and Eui was—probably fine. In fact, it might even be a necessity in order for Yoshika to have any other romantic relationship.
By definition, any relationship that Yoshika was in would have to include both Jia and Eui. Neither had really considered it when they committed to this path, but sharing everything meant romantic partners as well. Yoshika paused to think about it for a moment, and realized that she was entirely okay with that. In fact, it resolved more problems than it created in the most immediate sense. She had been uncertain whether or not Jia was capable of having a romantic relationship, but now she had an obvious and safe place to find out.
If Jia couldn’t handle a romantic relationship with Eui, then there was no point in pursuing any others. She still had some concern about what exactly another relationship would look like or how to pursue it, but there was no point in thinking about it until Yoshika had met the first prerequisite. Yoshika could live without romance, but she couldn’t live without Jia and Eui.
With her mind made up, Yoshika could finally relax. Her two halves weren’t perfectly in tune, but they were more aligned than she could ever remember them being. She hadn’t even realized just how much of a constant strain on her it had been until she had been relieved of the burden. Now, the essence within her domain seemed almost eager to be absorbed—all she had to do was reach out for it, and with the slightest thought, every last mote of it was almost instantly pulled in through her domain.
She could have kept cultivating, but it would take some time for the mana to return to a normal density, and she had something important she needed to do anyway—the excitement was distracting. She smiled to herself, nearly giggling as she thought about it. Her hearts were racing, and she was almost too nervous to separate. She had to, though—this wasn’t something she could do while linked.
Yoshika closed her eyes, and a moment later she opened them to see Eui’s brilliant red eyes staring back at her, grinning with excitement. Jia blushed brighter than she ever had and averted her eyes. She wasn’t sure that she could do it. The fluttering in her stomach was so intense that it felt as though she would be sick. She had felt so confident about it just a moment ago!
Jia swallowed nervously, and forced herself to meet Eui’s eyes, steeling her resolve. It didn’t help that Eui was still staring at her with that stupid, cheeky grin—she knew exactly what Jia was going to say, but she was still going to make her say it, damn her.
“E-Eui...”
“Yes, Jia?”
Eui’s voice had a sickly sweet tone as she unconvincingly feigned innocence. Jia gave her an annoyed look—this was difficult enough without Eui making fun of her. Though strangely, Eui making light of the situation did help her relax a little bit. She took a deep breath and started over.
“Eui, would—would you, um, g—go out with me?”
Jia couldn’t quite keep her voice from squeaking at the end, but she managed to say it. Eui’s smile widened until it was ear to ear—then she fell over laughing.
“Pffhahahaha, oh my ancestors, Jia your face! Hahaha!”
Jia crossed her arms and puffed out her cheeks irritably.
“It’s not funny! I’m trying to be serious.”
“I know! I’m so—haha—sorry! You’re just so—haha—so cute!”
Jia let out an exasperated sigh.
“A-are you going to answer me or not?”
Eui sobered up and nearly bowled Jia over with a sudden embrace.
“Of course I will! I love you, Jia!”
Jia returned the embrace, blushing deeply.
“I—I love you too, Eui. Just—is it ok if we take things really slow?”
“Absolutely! Oh, ancestors, I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy!”
Jia could help but giggle at Eui’s uncharacteristic exuberance—it was infectious. Jia had never dated before, and she had no idea what to expect, but for the first time in her life, she was looking forward to finding out.
---
The next day, as Jia and Eui were heading out to Hwang’s lab, they walked hand-in-hand and Eui stood a bit closer than usual, practically glowing. Not much had changed, really. They walked together all the time, and it wasn’t like it was the first time they’d held hands while doing so. It felt different, though. Just the idea that they weren’t just together—they were together. It was a pleasant feeling, only slightly spoiled by the realization that Dae would be waiting for them at the lab.
“Ugh, I’m going to have to turn down Dae, aren’t I?”
Eui glanced over at Jia and pulled her a little closer, so that their shoulders were touching. They got a few sidelong glances from other students, but neither of them paid it any mind.
“Yes, you are. At least for now—Eunae was right about that. You probably should have done it ages ago, before he had time to get his hopes up.”
Jia groaned, but Eui was right—she’d put it off for too long, and after thinking about it so much she realized that it was probably because she’d gotten her own hopes up. Eui seemed to have read her mind, because she squeezed Jia’s hand reassuringly.
“It’s okay, Jia. We both thought things through last night, remember? I know you like him, and I don’t really hate him either—it’s hard to be jealous when you know for certain you’re irreplaceable.”
“Wow.”
Eui elbowed Jia and they both giggled.
“Shut up! You know what I mean! If and when you decide you’re comfortable with dating, then we can...revisit the idea. This is all weird and new, but I’m open to trying—for you.”
That meant a lot, coming from Eui. Right now, Jia was still confused about her feelings, but testing the waters seemed like the best way to figure them out. For all she knew, she might discover that she had no interest in dating after all—though she was rapidly warming up to the idea—or she might find that she was only interested in girls, like Eui. If she only liked men—well, then she’d probably just give up. It wouldn’t be fair to Eui.
“What about you? What if another short, white-haired lady catches your eye?”
Eui blushed and grunted awkwardly.
“Geh, ancestors, that’s embarrassing. I was mostly just teasing when I said that earlier. I don’t think I’ve got it in me to love more than one person. The only reason I’m even entertaining the idea is out of consideration for you and Yoshika.”
Jia frowned—that felt a bit unfair to her.
“I don’t want to force you. Besides, I don’t even know if I am ready to handle one relationship yet. I need to take things as slow as possible—test the waters carefully, not dive head first into the ocean.”
Eui nodded sagely.
“Right, right. Which is why you have to let Dae down—gently. No sense breaking the poor guy’s heart. Firmly, though—don’t string him along, either. It’s fine if you wait, but making him wait for something that might never happen is just cruel.”
Jia sighed. It all sounded so complicated.
“Are you sure you can’t just do it for me? You sound like you know what to say way better than I do.”
Eui scoffed and flicked Jia in the forehead.
“No, dummy! This is a life lesson—turning people down gently is an important skill. You’re going to need to learn to say no without pissing people off. This is just a trial run—Hayakawa’s the real test.”
Jia gulped nervously. She was really not looking forward to that conversation. Still, things couldn’t continue as they were with Hayakawa. She just wished she still had Yoshika’s confidence.
“Speaking of confidence—”
Jia’s eyes widened in alarm as her head whipped around to stare at Eui. Was she actually reading her mind!?
“No, you’re just very predictable. Anyway, I think we need to be more firm with the magi as well. They keep yanking us around without giving anything in return. I know Hwang said it’s a slow process—and I believe him—but we need to make it clear that if we don’t get something, we’re done.”
Jia nodded solemnly. She was realizing that Hayakawa wasn’t completely wrong—she’d been too much of a pushover in the past.
As they came up to the lab, Jia spotted Dae chatting with a pair of students and waved. He waved back when he noticed her, which prompted the two students to turn around to look at her. She felt her blood turn to ice as she recognized the two students—Tae In-Su and Sun Jaehwa.
She wanted to cry out—why them!? Why were they both here? Why couldn’t they just disappear from her life forever? The sour looks on their faces indicated that they were of the same mind. Well, fine then. She had just reaffirmed her ideals—she wouldn’t hold a grudge against them for what they had done, as long as they weren’t threats.
She’d also strengthened her resolve to protect those ideals, and she wouldn’t hesitate to crush them with absolute finality the moment they were threats.
Comments
Robert Mullins
Eui vs Sun jaewha colorized. https://youtu.be/6OWq38TikzU
Robert Mullins
First time I've seen a character ask themselves out. Well done.
