Nemobrosus
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Chapter 37: Clearing the Air
🕑 Added 2025-02-13 06:41:48 +0000 UTCWillem walked into the cathedral very late into the night. When he did, green eyes turned to meet him.
“Didn’t think that you’d have the nerve to come,” Petronella said, walking forth back into the light. “Much less alone.”
“Funny. I didn’t think you’d have the nerve to stay around this long,” Willem said. “Unless you want problems, you should keep certain things to yourself. I don’t want to know, I don’t need to know. Because if I know…”
“You’ll have to be honest,” she finished, then laughed with a shake of her head. She studied him intently. “This condition of yours… utterly ridiculous. I’ve no idea how you’ve made it so long through any world, let alone this one, carrying that mandate around.”
“There’s a lot you can do by just keeping your mouth shut at the right time,” Willem said.
Petronella agreed with a curt nod, and silence settled in between them. “Why couldn’t you keep your mouth shut about this?” She stepped a little closer, but not enough to threaten. “Why did you have to uproot me so?”
“Don’t take it personally. You mentioned ‘invasion,’ I decided to appeal to a higher court. It’s that simple.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “If they were just coming after me, maybe I’d have played along. But war is bad for business. Most businesses, anyway. Some do great.”
“Yet what happened?” Petronella asked him pointedly. “Arend went berserk, apparently. Dorothea died. Now, you’ve got Galahad, who’s likely going to be sniffing into everything around you.”
“Yeah. It’s not… not what I had in mind. Bloody disaster, frankly.” He looked at her. “Almost as disastrous as your plan would’ve been. Involving Viviene? Killing Arend, revealing Dorothea? That would’ve been terrible for the Society of Assured Prosperity.”
“And this isn’t?” Petronella pointed out.
“It’s salvageable,” he said. “If only I’d seen the Dorothea thing coming, then…”
“Did you think Dorothea was going to simply go quietly into the inquisitor’s hands?” She stepped a little closer. “You should’ve taken measures to restrain them immediately.”
“But instead, she’s dead,” Willem said. “Arend killed seven. I know. I’ll have to wear that. It was my choice, my decision, and my responsibility. But enough about that.” He gestured her way. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”
“Of course.” Petronella nodded. “If Galahad is sticking around, I have to. I’m not naïve enough to try my hand against him. Against him, it wouldn’t be a glorious death. Just… a painful one.”
“Can’t blame you,” Willem admitted with a nod. “He is a scary little bastard. Scarier than that second form of yours, in some respects.”
Petronella walked right up to Willem, and stared right into his eyes. “Avaria won’t let this pass. If anything, they’re going to redouble attempts. Dorothea was one of many people able and willing to betray this kingdom for Avaria. Their reach is deeper than you know. They have a valuable tool to ensure compliance with the Fount of Avaria. Others won’t be as gullible as she was.”
“Will they let you pass?” He asked. “Will they overlook this?”
“I know how to twist my words a hell of a lot better than you do,” Petronella said. “And unlike you, I can actually lie. So yes, they’ll let me pass. My new assignment might not be as peachy as this one, but considering my talents, I think it’ll be fine.”
“I’m glad to hear of it,” Willem said. “Despite the fact that you probably eat people, you were decent company.”
“Decent company.” Petronella shifted on her feet. “This could be our last night together.”
Willem held up his hands. “I should give you a clear answer.” He shook his head. “I’ve tried to act like it’s something that I’d be interested in. That I’d be capable of doing what it is I did, way back when. Kept building excuses, erecting new ones…”
“Excuses?” Petronella tilted her head. “The fact that I’m not human isn’t sufficient to deter you?”
“Like I said, I’m open-minded,” Willem said. “You’re a nice lady, but I can’t just move on from the woman I knew.” He laughed. “I know. Sounds pathetic, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” Petronella agreed. “But… I suppose I can understand it. Once you’ve lost sufficiently, it’s difficult to convince yourself that anything really matters.”
“Funny how old people fed up with the world sound just like teenagers feeling the same,” Willem said, then walked around until he found a bench to sit on. “Before you go… got a question. From one old bastard to another.”
“Go on,” Petronella indulged.
“Let me do a little preamble ramble, first.” Willem rubbed his hands together. “I’ve started thinking this is all just one big distraction until the end. Something to pass the time.”
Petronella sat down beside him. “I know the feeling.”
“Yeah?” Willem looked over.
“Everything ends at some point,” Petronella said. “Sometimes I can’t help but feel… that I just want to see what happens. To cross that line. To walk to the other side.”
“Well…” Willem leaned back. “Suppose you cross it, and there’s just more life on the other side.” He looked at her. “What’d you do?”
“Asking a personal question?” She looked back at him.
“I can’t lie, so yeah.” Willem nodded. “I died. Damned sure of it. Had a strange feeling in my chest, knew something was wrong. Went to sleep, and… bam. New life.”
Petronella raised both her brows in surprise. “Just like that?”
“Just like that,” he confirmed, putting his arms back on the bench.
“Maybe I should get it over with, then.” Petronella looked down at her hands. “Well… I don’t know. The problems that I have in this life might not carry over to the others. And if I can shed some of the awful mess that I’m carrying around…” she looked out the window. “Why wouldn’t I try a little harder, carry on a little longer? If the problems that you had in your previous life are gone, why not stick around?”
Willem considered her words, staring off into space. “Got people trying to care. But they’re trying to care for Willem van Brugh, and I’m not him. Don’t want to pretend to be him, either. Feels wrong to let them in. I’m not so much different from you, in that way. Imagine if you had someone that thought you were their child.”
Petronella laughed at the thought.
“It’d be wrong, wouldn’t it? To enjoy the affection that should be Willem van Brugh’s. Act like him, talk like him, steal his name and face and everything in between.” He waved his hands in a tizzy. “But… I don’t know. Telling them? Telling them would be damned weird. ‘Hello, Viviene. I’m actually twice your age. Also, I killed the son that you were crying for.’” He puffed air out of his mouth. “I’m not immune to this. Sticks in my craw, bothers me like you wouldn’t believe.”
“And what if they ask?” Petronella said, looking at him squarely.
“There have been some close calls plenty of times,” Willem admitted easily. “A lot of conversations where I wondered if I’d have to admit I’ve been playing the part rather than being the part. Hell, I think one of them suspects. Apparently Suzanne was Willem van Brugh’s friend or something. Getting lots of weird looks, weird sentences.”
Petronella thought on it for a while in silence. After an eternity, she turned to Willem.
“That’s tough,” she said unsympathetically.
“Yeah. Tough.” He laughed for a little, then leaned his head back. “See, this is another reason I don’t tell lies. If you don’t tell lies, then you don’t have to worry like this. I tried to be open and honest at first, but no one believed me. Tielman thought I was making things up. I decided to go along with things, and I got back into the bad habits I’d had ages ago. The manipulation, the deception… lies by omission, lies by silence…” He crossed his arms. “I wonder if my promise would already be broken, in her eyes.”
“You said someone suspects?” Petronella asked.
“Yeah,” Willem said, looking at her.
“To hell with it,” Petronella said. “Why not tell her? At least it’ll be fun.”
“Hello, dear sister. I’m eighty-seven years old. I killed your brother. Got any problems?” He nodded. “Yeah. Maybe it’ll work. Maybe I’ll get a magic spike right to the eye.”
“Or maybe she’d try to revert things,” Petronella said. “Wizards love that sort of thing. Resurrection. They’ve tried it for centuries.”
“The scariest part for me, though…” Willem rubbed his hands together. “Would be coming to care for these people. I mean, I already like Viviene somewhat. The brothers, well… I could do without them. Tielman’s quite the bastard, but he’s a hard worker.” He stared into the distance for a long while—a thousand-yard stare. “If you care for someone… you have to care when they’re gone. And in a world like this, people go all of the time.”
“Naturally,” Petronella said.
“And all the people I ever care for? They’re gone,” Willem said. “They were gone long before I was. I can’t think that’s just coincidence.” He had a thousand-yard stare as he admitted, “I don’t think I’m good for people.”
Petronella stood up. “I’ll do what I want or die where I stand,” she said, repeating his words. “That was what you said, right? Stop overcomplicating things. Do what you feel.”
“Yeah… yeah, I guess you’re right.” He looked at her. “I guess you are a little older, a little wiser.”
Petronella walked away to the tree in the church formed into the shape of a woman. She ran her hand across its face. Despite her disdain for their faith and their superstitions… she had always liked this tree. She’d be sad to see it go.
“Something tells me we’ll meet again,” Petronella said.
“You a soothsayer?” Willem asked, sitting there casually.
“Goodbye, Willem,” she said, feeling strangely sad as she waved at him. She walked behind the tree, and let her magics whisk her elsewhere.
***
“Even in the middle of all of that stuff, you managed to work out a deal with Gustav?” Dirk asked him, in total surprise.
“Be quiet. The crisis isn’t quite over,” Willem said, holding up his finger. “I need to prepare something for some door-to-door talks. If I don’t explain what the hell it is that happened, we’re going to lose a hell of a lot of members to the Society of Assured Prosperity.” He sighed and shook his head. “Damn it all, man. The last thing that I needed was some fighting breaking out.”
Dirk walked around the room, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not sure that you can salvage this one.”
“Had so many things planned. Then this stuff comes out of nowhere, disrupts all of it.” He slapped his desk in frustration. “Still… still, provided my dinner with Gustav goes well… my god, Dirk. We’re well on our way to exponential growth.”
Dirk sat on the table. “You really think so?”
“Of course!” Willem stood up. “Do you have any idea how beneficial it would be to merge with Gustav’s operation at the point that it’s sitting at now? He’s positioned himself for explosive growth. I’ve already been in talks with Karel to work out a way to shift the industry substantially.”
Silence set in as Willem stared at Dirk for a long while. Dirk caught his gaze, then shrugged.
“Hey, I believe you,” Dirk said.
“Really?” Willem cocked his head back.
“Listen, I never thought we’d come this far,” Dirk admitted. “I told you as much, many times.”
“Many times,” Willem concurred.
“But here we stand,” he said, pointing to the ground. “We’re here. And you’re the one that brought us here.”
Willem sat down on the edge of his desk. “I have a non-business question, Dirk.”
Dirk brightened. “From you? That’s a damned rarity.”
“Would you believe me if I told you that I was eighty-seven years old?”
Dirk shook his head. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that.” He looked at Willem oddly. “What?”
“I’ve got a bit of a secret,” Willem admitted, walking around. “After a conversation with someone last night, I decided that I want to uproot it, reveal it to the light.”
“Okay…” Dirk nodded. “What’s the secret?”
“Well, that’s just the thing.” Willem leaned up against the door. “It’s the sort of secret that might get me killed, and that’s why I’ve been keeping it closer than most.”
“Should I repeat what I said earlier? Because I’m still thinking the same thing,” Dirk said, walking closer. “What’s wrong, Willem?”
Willem rubbed his hands together. “You have to believe me unilaterally. That’s the only way I’ll tell you. On top of that, you have to also help me with my problems.”
“Help?” Dirk repeated. “Something is seriously wrong.”
“Don’t be melodramatic,” Willem said. “It’s just… you, you’re normal. Me, I’m abnormal. I don’t know where else to turn.”
Dirk nodded. “Alright. That works for me.”
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Comments
NeoJungleLover
Noooo! The gilf :(
Noah
Yeah, not sure why he thinks he killed him. He had no power or say over what happened. He didn’t even want to reincarnate. At worst, some other power used Willem’s soul to take the original Willems life
WarStrider72
Dirk: I've always known you were crazy. Willem: Works as any good starting point.
Armo
Also, Willem thinks he ‘killed’ the original Willem. I’m not convinced. He should get in contact with a wizard or three.
Armo
Yessssss, Dirk knows! I’m looking forward to things clicking for him. Maybe he’ll be more interested in learning from Willem on commerce and economics. I wonder how he’ll react. More broadly, I really like this chapter. It gives us a genuine look into Willem the person - and moments like that really make your writing shine.
Michael Vonica
Petronella really gives off the vibe of someone who's been playing the "kill or be killed" game since she was born.
