The Conciege
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Chapter 68: Not A Laxative
🕑 Added 2023-08-07 23:19:00 +0000 UTCZed’s breathing was measured. Eyes closed, there was nothing in the room that escaped his attention. He let his aura seep gently out of him like slow mist from a smoke machine. He pushed his breathing consciously, making adjustments here and there, tweaking the few errors born of the subconscious until he felt a notification come alive.
· You have activated [Refine].
· Your [mana] flows better.
· [Raw mana] detected.
· You have 0 unallocated [Aptitude points].
When he felt the notification, reading it even in the darkness of closed eyes, a small satisfaction filled him.
Ever since he’d started getting the warning that he had too much [Exp], his stomach had begun hurting. He felt full, over-satiated, like a child who’d eating way too many chocolates and continued to eat more. Even now, with no threat in sight, the mana in his core was more than active.
When he pulled his mind to his core, he saw why. His mana core was stretched to bursting. His mana channels that usually carried just a touch of mana whenever he wasn’t actively using his core were full, his mana constantly flowing. Zed didn’t like the way it looked. It looked wrong and felt wrong. He feared it could be worse than he thought. The solution to this was easy, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to indulge it yet.
To advance would not be a problem, but the possible outcome of advancing could. And with Shanine beside him now, he was farther away from any willingness to take the chance. Fighting against monsters was one thing, but fighting against monsters while trying to protect someone that couldn’t protect themselves was another. So Zed sat there with his head against the wall and his eyes closed, and turned the mana in his core. It was a vibrant white, with a bluish hue and specks of a myriad of colors like sprinkles on ice cream.
He turned it with a force of will, stirring the cauldron like a chef with a massive spoon until it grew into a deep spiral. The process was harder than it had been once upon a time. The mana was thicker than it had once been, more violent also, and Zed pushed himself to execute the process. His core obeyed him, regardless, stirring into a facsimile of calmness. Slowly, the bluish hue reached beyond its confines until it pooled around it like blue steam, spilling from his core.
· You have learnt [Cycling].
Cycling.
Every mage understands the conscious control of mana, manipulating it to serve their needs. However, it takes a certain level of will power to make an art out of instinct. The art of cycling is to take the instinctual activation of the mana core and make it an art. This technique strengthens mana control and efficiency.
Sure, he thought, uncaring.
Whatever [Cycling] was doing, he didn’t need to know right now. What he needed was a way to ease the pain in his core so that he could go a little longer until he found a place he felt was safe enough to advance.
Zed was still pooling his concentration, the white of his mana growing deeper as the other myriad of colors that speckled it were slowly swallowed up when a hand hit him on the shoulder.
His eyes shot open and he found Shanine beating him on the shoulder with an open hand. She had a mild panic filling her eyes.
Zed leaned away from her, catching both her hands in his.
“Please tell me you haven’t decided to play pretend, too,” he said. “Because domestic violence isn’t one of the play pretends I subscribe to.”
Shanine stayed motionless, propped up on her knees with both her hands held in Zed’s. The panic in her eyes had dimmed and she looked at Zed with a small mix of relief and confusion.
“You were smoking,” she said without conviction.
“I was smoking,” Zed repeated slowly.
“Yes.”
“I try to make it a habit not to smoke,” Zed said, “that’s why I usually don’t carry cigarettes with me. Now, I take it that’s what you meant, because if you meant my body was smoking, that would insinuate that I was about to start burning and there’s little help beating me with your hands would’ve done, right?”
Shanine’s face tightened and Zed wasn’t sure if it was in embarrassment or annoyance.
“You were smoking,” she repeated, adamant this time, as if he’d called her a liar.
Zed nodded slowly. “Yes. Noted. And if what you’re saying is true, then there is a chance I will be going back to smoking very soon. Please desist from beating me up when I start smoking. Can you do that?”
Shanine’s nod was on the side of displeasure, reluctant.
“Or is there something else?” Zed asked, releasing her hands.
Shanine settled back down into a sitting position but said nothing. Despite her silence, the look on her face said she had something on her mind. She looked like a polite guest unwilling to intrude on the host’s hospitality even though Zed was meant to be the guest here.
“What’s it?” Zed asked.
Shanine shook her head, reluctant. “It’s nothing.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Then let me give you a small piece of information. Samuel, that’s me, has an ability that is used to strike fear in the hearts of people.”
“I thought your name’s Zed.”
“Yes, you did. But you’re focusing on the unimportant. Where was I? Oh yes, fear in the hearts of people. Now, sometimes it occurs without me knowing and has multiple effects I am not entirely sure about since it’s new. And since it’s designed to stop other mages, there’s always the possibility that it can do worse to people like you. That said, are you sure there’s nothing?”
Shanine stopped herself from nodding.
“Good,” Zed said. “Now what seems to be the issue?”
“When you were sleeping…”
“Playing pretend,” Zed corrected.
“When you were… playing pretend,” Shanine said, “it was getting kind of hard to breathe. Then you started smoking and I started suffocating, so I…”
“Decided that both were related and chose to wake me up so you don’t die from a lack of functioning lungs,” Zed finished for her. “Is that it?”
Shanine nodded sheepishly.
“I guess that makes sense,” Zed mused, wondering if [cycling] had something to do with it.
Well, you cycle and she starts choking, he thought. I’m not much of a rocket scientist but I think unless there’s a monster out there somewhere, that’s pretty much what happened.
There wasn’t much to it. Being a polite guest, Zed came to an easy conclusion.
“Alright then,” he said to Shanine. “No more play pretend.”
“Thank you,” she said.
“Instead,” Zed continued, “what we’re going to do is stay up all night doing nothing while I keep a look out for monsters.”
“Uhm,” Shanine raised her hand. “I don’t think I can stay up all night.”
Zed smacked his forehead. “Apologies for that. I completely forgot. I’ve been spending too much time around mages so it’s easy to forget that normal people actually need sleep.” He paused with a frown. “Most recently my company has been made up of monsters so that’s even worse. Come to think of it, I haven’t had a good night sleep in a while now.”
“Would you like to sleep while I keep watch?” Shanine asked softly.
Zed shook his head. “Nah, I’ll be fine. A few more sleepless nights won’t hurt. My destination isn’t far anymore so…”
He trailed off, realizing he wasn’t entirely correct. From here, another day’s journey would lead him to the forest where he’d woken up. Then he would find his way to route eight, before he’d crest a small portion of land with no name, then finally arrive at the town. Thoughtful, he wondered what benefit Shanine would add to the town if she were to join.
“What skills do you have?” he asked suddenly.
“Skills?” Shanine returned, confused.
“Yes, skills. What are you…” Zed made a vague gesture with his hand. “Good at.”
Shanine looked down at her messy clothes. Despite her current state she had no doubt of her beauty. She knew exactly what Zed was asking for: of what use was she to him? why should he keep her around?
She touched the thing strap of her gown, rested on her shoulder and slipped it to the side.
“Sorry, what’s going on?” Zed asked, confused.
“I don’t have much skills that I can call useful to a mage,” Shanine said. “But I’m good at helping with things like physical relief and appeasing mental stress.”
Zed watched her with narrowed eyes.
“Well,” he said, “unless you have a knowledge of pocket memories and taking off your shoulder strap seductively is going to solve my mana core problem… which I am just realizing you know nothing about, I remain confused as to why you’re taking it off. Also, what do you mean by physical relief? Are you like some kind of laxative? Will you make me want to poop?”
“Wait, what?” Shanine stared at Zed confused.
“Will. You. Make. Me. Want. To. Poop?”
“No?” Shanine answered.
“You don’t sound very confident about that answer.” Zed leaned forward, peering at her, and she was forced to lean back. “You sound like a child who just realized that trick their family has been clapping for them about might actually not be as good as they thought. You’re like a singing child who’s come to The Voice only to realize they actually don’t have the voice…” Zed frowned softly as his voice trailed off. “I have a question.”
Shanine opened her mouth but nothing came out. Her brain was still reeling from everything he’d just said.
“You look speechless,” Zed said. “So I’ll ask anyway. What’s The Voice?”
“I-I don’t know,” Shanine stammered. “You’re the one that mentioned it.”
Zed leaned away from her.
“Yea,” he said. “It sounded right when I said it, but I just realized I’m not entirely sure what it is. I’m talking about The Voice not the voice, if that makes sense to you. Still,” he rubbed his jaw and found it without stubbles. “You know what, never mind. I’ll deal with it myself.”
With that, he leaned back against the wall and rested the back of his head against it. He didn’t close his eyes. He kept them open and stared at nothing. A moment after, he realized the room had neither window nor a source of light, and while he could see clearly, Shanine wasn’t supposed to.
“How did you see me?” he asked.
Shanine’s answer was a very confused, “What?”
“To beat me,” Zed explained. “How did you see me to hit me? It’s pitch black in here.”
“Oh. You were smoking.”
“People don’t see smoke in the dark, love.”
“Yes, but you were smoking blue.”
Zed paused. “Oh. What of when I was looking at you?”
“Your green eyes are kind of bright in the dark.”
“Kind of?”
“It’s not that they glow,” Shanine explained. “But they’re just really there.”
“I see.” Zed nodded. “Well, try to get some sleep. In the morning we’ll find out what skills you have. If you have none besides helping me take a poop, then we’ll have one day to get you one.”
“I don’t help people take a shit,” Shanine said.
“You don’t? That’s a bit disappointing. I know mages don’t poop but I think it will be of help to a lot of them if they did. I know a few who walk around like they’ve got one hanging in there that they should’ve gotten rid of before they became mages. You know holding back a dump can make a person real cranky. As a matter of fact, I know two mages that might need to take a poop. Maybe I can introduce you to them sometime.”
“Zed.”
“What’s up?”
“I’m not a laxative.”
“Of course not. Why would anyone think you are? You’re a soon to be poop mage. Which is awesome because people need the help more than you think. Imagine being unable to poop. Sounds horrible, doesn’t it?”
“Please stop saying poop.”
“I don’t know,” Zed mused. “Poop sounds more family friendly than shit. And if I was being honest, I might be one of those mages that wish they could just take that one last poop. You know, like a final goodbye to pooping.”
Shanine had more to say on the subject but chose not to. Zed was too uncharacteristic of the mages she knew. He was nothing like any of the mages from Hillview. And while she had known this, suspecting he’d be friendly, she hadn’t expected him to be this friendly. He was free and jovial and fun. He was… nice.
But while a nice mage was the best thing for her, she was not ignorant of their situation. None of them knew what was waiting for them beyond the building. She found herself hoping he fought half as well as he talked.
Comments
TheLost
toilet humor gah it hurts
