Michael Clark
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Butcher of Gadobhra Chapter 474
🕑 Added 2025-01-21 03:46:40 +0000 UTCThere may be a second half to this chapter coming, or it might become 475 on the length, but here's this part for now.
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The Many-Drinks tribe of goblins had traveled for many weeks through the wilds to the North of Gadobhra, into the swamps where wyverns and giant leeches made travel difficult. Then into the old forests where the shaggy trees and towering treants debated points of theology and killed noisy things that disturbed them. Finally reaching the start of the Cold Lands where the ancient tribes had built their towers and cities on the rubble of older empires. Now the towers were crumbling ruins, just another layer of history.
The goblins loved this place. They dug for treasure and unearthed secret storehouses. The best places held barrels of unknown alcoholic liquids that had gained potency over the centuries since they were buried. The large noses of the treasure hunters could smell a drink or a gold crown from a quarter mile away. When a promising and large ruin was discovered, the tribe burrowed down, leaving no trace of their passing, and explored from beneath, tunneling and unearthing the old secrets, mostly free from wandering monsters and claim jumpers. Normally, it was only small excursions of twenty who came to these lands, but this time, Chief Manydrinks led the expedition himself, and three-hundred and forty-two goblins went North. They needed much treasure in the coming years and would be building a new place for the tribe to live. The small and comfortable village near Sedgewick was too full of players now. The tribe needed to grow and adapt or they would be overrun as the town and city grew. It was sad to leave the lands of the Red Wizard, but they could ferment nearly anything into alcohol and would find or make what they needed to distill the tasty beverages that healed their wounds and refreshed their power.
They had come to one of the old cities the day before and found hiding places in the ruins. Now, the treasure hunters, drink finders, and drunken seers were carefully exploring and looking for hints about what was hidden below. They lurked in the shadows, heeded the calls from the scouts, and did nothing to draw attention to themselves. There were monsters in these ruins that would see a goblin tribe as a tasty snack. So they were careful.
Until the Chief's Daughter, Mimosa, Drunken Seer, and White Witch of Sedgewick had one too many shots with her friends. They were playing the sacred drinking game from the Inn of the Red Dragon. Mimosa had won, but the last bottle of Red Wizard whiskey was empty. She went looking for more, singing songs as she went, tripping over toadstools, talking to ghosts, and laughing at their jokes. Two sad ghosts were standing by a perfectly normal section of ruined wall, leaning on their halberds and staring straight ahead. Mimosa skipped up to them and stuck out her tongue. "Cheer up! It's a party."
One ghost shrugged and ignored her, the other grew angry, screaming at her. To the other goblins, it sounded like a howling wind in winter. "Leave us to our sacred duty."
"Or what? Scream some more? I'm so drunk it sounds good. Add some drums and a melody and we can get a dance going."
The angry ghost swung his weapon through her. Normally, this caused mortals to shake in terror. Against the drunken Chief's daughter, it had less effect. "Ooh, spooky, sent a tingle down my spine. Do it again!"
The guard sighed and returned to staring ahead, but Mimosa wasn't done with him. "Watcha guarding?"
"Nothing."
"You sure? Looks like a blank wall, but a little thick."
"This is the wall of the inner sanctum of our liege. Of course, it was thick."
"Sort of silly place to guard...and that rock looks a little different from the others." The ghosts watched in horror as she pressed the stone and a hidden door opened in the wall. They swung at her, with no effect.
"Sorry guys, I'm a white witch, you can't scare me. And I think standing here for this long was a cruel thing to do to two nice guys like you. I release you, take a hike, and have a drink in Hades realm on me." She threw a silver coin at each and the shades departed, the spell holding their ghosts in place undone.
Mimosa waved to the tribe, and the tribe waved back, shouting and pointing. What saved her was the growing shadow on the ground. She looked up as the Great Shadowed Gyre Falcon was swooping down. "Oops, hope I remember this spell. FLAMBE!" A bolt of fire hit the bird, setting it alight. It crashed to the ground only feet from her. Her father came running up but slowed as he saw the threat had been dealt with.
"Great thinking. I'm starving." The chief pulled off a well-cooked wing and began plucking the feathers. "Would have been better with brandy."
"If I'd had the brandy to enhance the spell, I would have already drank the brandy. And, DAMMIT, I'm sober now! Cooking your snack took everything I had in me!"
"Well, let's go find something for you to drink. My nose is twitching and I see you found a hidden door." The king's large proboscis was legendary for sniffing out alcohol and hidden treasure, and one of the main reasons he was king. Looking inside, the stairs spiraled down four stories to a landing with three doors. The chief signaled the tribe and they quickly descended and shut the door behind them, leaving only a grease spot on the ground and the smell of roasted poultry. The creatures that had been attracted to the noise were disappointed and confused.
The ancient complex holding the Tombs of the Last Kings was well guarded, but not against the Many-Drinks tribe. Their Trap-Smiths dismantled the dangerous gadgets, found the pitfalls, and took apart the various traps they found. They'd be saved and used later in their new home. The witches and seers dispersed the curses and magical traps and sent the ghosts to their final rests. The undead bent their knees to the two Necromancers and then acted as tour guides, reciting the history of each ruler and pointing out places of interest.
Of the greatest interest was the tomb of King Hadradadzhalad, known for his lavish parties, high taxes, and ostentatious funeral procession. One of the specters was quite proud to have taken part in the king's last journey, "It was grand! He'd been dead and embalmed for thirty days while we worked day and night on the festivities. Then, after the traditional seven days of feasting, we marched around the city seven times before retiring to the Under Palace. Enough wine, brandy, and preserved food were stored here to last five hundred people for a year. Not that it was needed, all the servants and guards were poisoned immediately and placed in position to serve His Majestie's shade. We were terribly disappointed when he was dragged, kicking and screaming, into Hades' realm. It's so nice to have visitors after so long. Come right this way and I'll show you the poisoned wines so you can drink a toast and join us!"
Chief Many-Drinks and his tribe followed the specter down endless stone staircases and through hidden doors to the wine cellars. To the specter's glee, the Chief uncorked a bottle and chugged it down. He burned slightly afterward and considered the taste, "Heavy on the hemlock, but that might be from the aging process. The fruitier flavors of the young wine would have blended better. But if it was good enough for a King's retinue, it is good enough for my tribe!"
The goblins needed no other encouragement. Poisoned wine and enough dried dates to choke an ogre were consumed by the hungry and thirsty goblins. To the specter's dismay, no one died and joined the ghosts of the funeral retinue. But they did have one hell of a party, and King Hadradadzhalad would have been happy to see it if he wasn't so busy refining his taxes for eternity. How he would feel about his funeral party taking a long trip, no one would ever know. The goblins spent the next two weeks drinking continuously and raiding the tombs for golden trinkets, enchanted items, and interesting hats. Of special interest to Chief Many-Drinks was a large enchanted "funeral chariot'. The fancy, twelve-wheeled wagon was just the thing that the tribe needed to haul back their alcohol and loot. The bulk of the wine and dates would stay here, but the gold was going with them. A little gold could buy a lot of Red Wizard whiskey.
Three months after the tribe left Sedgewick, they left the ruined city, heading for their new home. The Chief was being cagey about just where they were headed, but the direction was generally to the South. By hidden paths the tribe traveled, sometimes staying with other goblin tribes. It was from them that they heard of the great mustering of tribes in the south. Many of the northern goblin tribes were planning on joining their larger cousins, intrigued with the new Warlord who had inspired so many to join him. Many-Drinks was thoughtful as the days passed and they traveled towards their new home. He could take the entire tribe south, but so many of his people were not prepared for war. Still, it would be rude not to send a few to represent the tribe, along with a suitable present.
They left behind the old forests and entered the swamps. The funeral chariot served just as well as a barge. Twice they were attacked by swarms of feral wyverns. Swollen with the power of more alcohol than they could drink, the warriors had no trouble killing a dozen before the wyverns found better places to be. The skins were kept to make armor for the war party heading to the South. Past the swamps, they came to an impenetrable forest that fought them for every foot of travel until the witches and seers pooled their power to force a pathway to the small clearing under the looming walls of an ancient city.
Mimosa looked at the imposing walls, "Hey, big Chief, isn't this where we started? That sort of looks like the towers of the castle."
The Chief laughed, "Perceptive of you, since you can't walk straight. These are the northern gates of Gadobhra. The old Baron sealed them when he fought the war with the druids. I explored them when I was young and still drinking light beer. The gatehouse fortress is still intact. A little dusty and spider-infested, but I've always been fond of spiderweb stew. We're out of the way here, and won't be easy prey for players. Once we clear the sewers out, we can travel easily into the city or on to Sedgewick."
"Good, because this wine is tasty, but it isn't Red Wizard."
Comments
Stefan Muntean
holy f...the goblins are OP in this reality lol
Engineer4God
Tank oo fur da chap!
Ender419
I am looking forward to them learning Suzette makes beer, wine, brandy and cider & teach her to how to make more potent things.
Felix H.
I see into my crystal ball and I sense good dealing between Baron William an his new village of many drinks goblins
MadRat
Thx for the chappie 👍👏👏
Douglas
So this concludes the daring and heroic tale of the many drinks goblin tribe and the oddeysy to the other side of the city, at least for now
wildwings
That's great news!
Michael Clark
The orcs drink beer the way football fans drink beer. (Or the small town I grew up in.) The Many-Drinks tribe are different from the fey goblins, and gain power and mana from their alcohol. Anyone trying to keep up with them is going to lose.
Findell
I wonder if billy can register them as a village under him.
Exrotes
Also side note considering the previous references to orcs/goblins all being drunks I hope it's one of those things where they are considered drunks by goblin standards.
Kensai
Happy the goblins haven’t moved far. I always thought they’d do well trying to make Damien’s brandy/armor cleaner in the Poisonworks. Never doubt the power of Goblin Alchemy/Brewing. No Killing Goblins.
Exrotes
While I was hoping at least one drunken fey goblin wandered off and joined the tribe after the market was still a very fun chapter. Can't wait to finally get a perspective from the greenskin war and see everyone give the drunken goblins a wide berth.
