This is Suze
patreon
WhY I BecaMe A R3bel
🕑 Added 2022-09-29 09:29:22 +0000 UTCBeing here with my parents, especially my mother, I can see why I had to rebel. I had to find a way to relieve the tension, the fear, the stress, the constraint. My mothers life is all about control, having things her way. If things go her way she's "happy" barely, and things don't go her way she throws her toys out of the pram. My dad is there to make sure she is happy, pick the toys up, pacify her and avoid her tantrums. That is literally his job. My dad is the doormat to a control freak. I have been away for 5 years and I see how miserable my mother has got, which goes to show that controlling life, circumstances, people and yourself is not the key to happiness. It's just a survival strategy. I used to live that way, trying t control every minute experience of my existence, and it made me feel safe, it made me feel like I was on top of things, but then, if something or someone comes along to disrupt that strategy, then your whole world is blown apart, and that happened to me aged 16, and since then I felt like i was falling down a rabbit hole. But if we control everything we are announcing we don't trust the Universe, our ego is bigger than God. Maybe things need to fall apart in order for us to realise that it's our ego that is running the show.
