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Outrun - Chapter 160

🕑 Added 2024-10-18 22:04:01 +0000 UTC

Comments

Gardor

Alright just be sure to tell me to fuck off at some point, otherwise I'll feel like I'm taking advantage of you

Lost Rain

It works out anyway. No need to feel too guilty. Show is always better then tell

Gardor

Whenever I get into my hyper specific fantasy versions of what I WANT to read, I always start feeling guilty. Like I'm just being hard to please, to no one's benefit. So, sorry for all that. But, the redone intros for Red 6 did conform to my subjective personal tastes, thank you.

Lost Rain

Okay, I rewrote the entire first chunk of it including introductions to be a bit more dynamic. Slipped into Tell not Show this chapter, and that should help it out.

Findell

Its like she is trying to get herself killed. Why is she trusting these people.

Gardor

Seems pretty dumb to try to ram a barricade during a suspected ambush, mining the road would be like, bandit tactics 102. Guess they had a lot of faith in the trucks armor, or in Shiro's ability to fix it after it blew up. I was actually kind of looking forward to her fixing the vehicle from the end of last chapter, it'd give us a bit of context for how tech savvy she is, beyond just a number on her status. Or at least, show people reacting to a teenager (?) fixing the problem, we know she's good at building stuff from all the stuff she's built, but not the impression that'd leave on the world's inhabitants. Plus, it'd be a chance for a more dynamic introduction to the squad than her just listing their characteristics one after the other. Sorry about the back seat driving again, I liked the chapter.


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