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Outrun - Chapter 189

🕑 Added 2024-12-27 23:04:01 +0000 UTC

Comments

lenkite

Tie the robot up on the roof - it can easily take weather damage. Done this so many times myself - a bunch of experienced mercenaries would have no problems. The loot is sensitive manuscripts and artifacts that need to be stored inside the vehicles - it isn't heavy equipment that takes up load hauling capacity.

Gardor

Mentioning that the vehicles were overloaded with loot kinda implies that it'd be a bigger favor than you seem to think, if she asks them to bring an old robot back instead of whatever else would take up that space. Also, with her eidetic blueprint memory, she already basically knows everything about them, no need to have the physical medium. Also also, pretty sure this sentence is more referring to her not being able to keep any of the loot they're selling, like she didn't grab some magic book or something for herself.

Gardor

Athena, looking ever breathtaking, called over to us. -> breathtaking as ever makes more sense to me, but that's fully subjective and don't wanna impede your "voice" "Seemed military at a glance. I’d recognize them from anywhere after spending so much time with Uncle Ezra and Mira" -> I think it should be "recognize THAT anywhere", since she's not really recognizing them as individuals, more their general aesthetic or presence or demeanor or whatever. Splitting hairs. I forget, can she gain skills through effort, or can she only purchase them from the system store? Like, could she get a drawing skill if she practiced enough? Liked the arc, i liked how it was a heist but not really stealthy, so it focused more on her tech skills. And the character growth of recognizing that she can (and maybe should) function as part of a team. The ending was abrupt, but I liked it cuz I felt like the story had been told. It would have been a narrative de-escalation to focus on some two-bit bandit attack towards the end, imo. There aren't any more antagonists that could organically start shit, we'd already seen some scirmishes with the other group, no need to retread old ground. Not sure if the abrupt nature of the end could be called objectively "good", like literally i don't know enough about literature to know if you're breaking some author rule, but as a reader I preferred it.

lenkite

> It was a bit sad I didn’t get anything from the Theatre itself. Sorry, this makes no sense. There are both combat bots and turrets there. She could have asked the Captain for a bit of space on a vehicle roof and dragged at-least one bot or turret off. The bot would be useful for practising her coding skills if nothing else. Can also guard her stash area.

David Brims

A change of pace is good sometimes. Great arc I think. Ending was fine.

Alexander Belousov

I liked the fact that it was quick ending and wrapped up in a single chapter. The arc was very good, but it did drag a little toward the end. After reading countless stories, I got to appreciate when authors allow things to happen "off screen". Some sort of "time skip" is a necessity. I thought this one was handled well.

Findell

The wrapup/ending of the job was a bit quick but this has dragged for a bit you dont usually let jobs last this long except the whole school arc.


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