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Outrun - Chapter 224

🕑 Added 2025-03-17 22:04:01 +0000 UTC

Comments

ZJAY 1

Dammit i need more. This story is like a drug and I need my fix

Lost Rain

Thank you! I’ll rewrite those bits. All five of the Drop Chutes were apart of her backpack. I’ll go back and reread when I originally went over the Drop Chute design to make sure though

Lost Rain

I’ll go back and rewrite a bit so she mentions the tracker more. It’s gone, I just didn’t explicitly type it out.

Gardor

"There were a plethora of things she could want to talk about privately. The least of which was Vulpes personally hanging out with me or the magical tracker in my neck." I assume this what you're talking about? Pretty sure this is referencing the tracker that WAS in her neck, until it was removed at the shrine. The tense actually looks alright to me, but maybe it should be past tense.

Halycon404

Can answer to that one. It tries to end near word count break points. The actual chapters for this story in particular would have extreme variability in length. That's fine for a printed novel. Not so good for a serialized story. Ideally a serialized story should have chapters be equal length. Some types of stories just do not lend themselves to it. So. The compromise.

lenkite

Warning! [Story Error] detected. She was supposed to remove the tracker at the shrine. She even said so twice - once in a previous chapter and even made reference to it now. Yet she still has a foreign tracker embedded in her neck. Yet she just leaves with a "HERE IS SHIRO" advertisement broadcasted to every cultist in the city.

Gardor

"everything except my clothes and ballistic vest which were supposedly sent to the Crusade’s cleaners. "-> I know she checks over the drop chutes, but weren't they spread over her body? Like a main one in her backpack, and then smaller ones on her legs and arms? Wouldn't those be attached to her clothes? “Take the stairs all the way down to the bottom when you’re down.”-> done "My gauntlets and wrist pad were in a rough shape." -> gauntlet? Her hand got blown off, pretty sure she should only have one gauntlet, although she could just be referring to them in the weird singular plural. Like how "a pair of scissors" is one thing. "my money… I felt tears at the back of my eyes" -> eye, and maybe some mention of pain in her empty socket.

Hillbilly Legion

It seems to me that you're releasing a chapter a week, in three parts. Why not just release a chapter once a week?

Lost Rain

The jump from 11>12 is supposed to be big and take a long time. It’s like a breakpoint. And story wise it’ll wind up after the Circle major arc finishes in the next 10-20 chapters. Also, still waiting for it to hit twelve, yes.

Findell

One of her skills probbaly hit 12 during all that right? Is that box still out there to upgrade the interface skills past 12?


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