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Chapter 636: Weep Not For Me
🕑 Added 2023-07-22 16:06:00 +0000 UTC
‘It is time for me to go.’
Those words hit Alex deep in his core.
Before him, Carey’s spirit was fading. Her voice was. Her image more indistinct. Soon, her spirit would be gone, gone to the after-world and there was nothing he could do. Nothing any of them could do to stop it.
Until now, he’d had no time to let the full gravity of her death sink in, no time to reflect on it.
Uldar sitting dead in his throne room had much to do with that.
Alex knew in his mind that Carey’s mortal life had ended, and what was left of her in this world was her unembodied soul, held to the material plane by the will and power of an emerging demigod.
But Hannah was by no means an almighty deity and—as far as Alex knew—not even the most powerful of gods and goddesses could defeat death. Not completely. Not without sacrifice of something precious, corruption, or transformation.
Carey’s sacrifice had bought her time…but now that time was spent.
And she would soon be truly gone.
Merzhin made a sound that said more than any words could say as he pulled away from Cedric and dropped to his knees, burying his face in his hands.
Tyris slid off of Vesuvius’ neck. Tears shone in her eyes. “There has to be something we can do, Carey. It can’t just end like this.”
“It has to,” Carey said, her voice wavering. “It always has to, for us mortals.”
“Bullshit!” Tyris snapped. “Baelin’s immortal. There’s other immortal wizards, there are liches, and there’s…there’s…”
“Tyris.” Carey smiled gently. “I lived as a mortal woman. I died as a mortal woman. I want to live, by the Traveller, I do…but I can’t. I know I can’t. And you know that as well. The life that was Carey London is over.”
“I…I can’t bear this…” Tyris turned away.
“I want to thank you, Tyris, for helping and protecting me. And you too, Vesuvius! Your power kept me alive when we fought Ravener-spawn. Your confidence made me smile when we stopped and camped. Your horrifying lust for Hart made me laugh—”
“Carey!” Tyris gasped.
“—what, it was obvious. Wasn’t it? You’re always so forward, Tyris, but you never went all the way with that one. Consider this my final gift to you: a little nudge, like all those little pushes you gave us all.”
Tyris’ face was as flaming red as her hair. “There…the right time…”
“Is now. Trust me, my friend, you can’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow,” Carey said softly. “I would know.”
She looked at the Champion. “I’m not so naive to say ‘you two take care of each other’ as though you’re destined lovers. I know what you two are about; so let me just say…have fun, alright?”
“O…okay.” Hart cleared his throat, turning away from the others. “Got something in my eye.”
Carey turned to Drestra. “Listen, I want to thank you for carrying this burden—of holding power over the dungeon cores—with Alex and me. The road was a lot less lonely knowing that you were walking it with me. Take care of yourself.”
The Sage swallowed, closing her eyes. “I will.”
Next, she looked at the Chosen. “I cannot think of a better man to be the Chosen of Uldar. You might not be as clean-cut as the Chosens I’d always imagined when I was a little girl, but you’re a better man than any I could have imagined. Don’t let Uldar’s death bring you down. Don’t let it distract you. Do what you’ve always done, Cedric: be a Hero. As you were meant to be.”
Cedric looked at her as though lightning had struck him. Then he sniffed back tears. “Aye…I’ll kill them bastards that did this to yous all good an’ thorough.”
“Thank you,” she said, turning to Alex’s cabal and Theresa. “I…would have liked to get to know you all better. I would have liked it if we could have become fast friends; I envy the friendship you all have, I must admit. Cherish yourselves and each other.”
“I…I’m sorry we did not get to know each other better,” Isolde said, teary-eyed.
“Me, as well. You are nothing like how Derek described you,” Carey said. “Graduate well, Isolde.”
She looked next to Grimloch. “You terrified me in life.”
“Good,” Grimloch said. “You died well.”
“Good.” She turned next to Watcher Hill. “Don’t blame yourself for any of this. What happened to me was not your fault. I know you will likely blame yourself for not protecting me, but what is done is done. You cannot change my death. I cannot change it, and I don’t think there was anything you could have done to stop it.”
“But—” the Watcher started.
“No buts. This is polite company,” Carey smiled at her, before turning to Alex.
Silence passed between them.
Then he sighed. “Look…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was the Fool. I won’t say that I was wrong for not telling you when we first met—I had my reasons—but after we found out about the dungeon cores, maybe…maybe I should have let you know.”
His head sank. “And…I’m sorry I didn’t get here in time. I’m sorry I didn’t find you fast enough. I’m sorry I failed you.”
“Alex…” Carey looked at him intently. “I truly do wish you had told me who you were when I was still alive. Not when we first met, of course—I was too much a part of Uldar’s flock, then—but perhaps after we learned of the dungeon cores’ secret. It makes me feel…a little lonely to know that you did not trust me with such a secret, but there is nothing to be done about that now. Instead, I ask that you find Uldar’s secrets. Reveal what our god hid away. For me. For Hannah. For Thameland. For all of us.”
Alex bowed to her. “I will, Carey. I swear.”
Finally, Carey turned to Merzhin, who was sobbing, sounding like his heart would break.
“Look at me, Merzhin,” she said.
The Saint buried his face deeper in his hands.
“Do not do that. You owe me that much, Merzhin,” she said.
With a sob, the Saint looked up. “I—I’m so sorry. For–forgive me for being so naive…for my stupidity…I’m about…my foolishness…I’m sorry Carey…I let you die. I let you di—”
“No, Merzhin,” Carey said. “You tried to save us all. I won’t lie to you: if you hadn’t let Eldin take me then—yes—I would likely be alive. But, we also wouldn’t have found the way to Uldar’s Rise. We wouldn’t have found his sanctum. Uldar was called the ‘prophet-god’...but I don’t know if he could read the future. I don’t know if anyone can see what lies ahead of us. At one time, I would have believed so…but now? I don’t know. But I do know this.”
She looked at him solemnly. “If there is such a thing as destiny and fate, then perhaps that was what brought us all to this place. Truly, without me being taken by Eldin, who knows when or even if we would have found it. In the end, that wretched priest bringing me to this valley is what led us to Uldar. And remember, my life was ended by my own hand to save us. It was my sacrifice to make. My choice.”
“But still!” the Saint cried. “I deserve punishment. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have died!”
Carey was silent for a time. “It is…true. If you hadn’t let Eldin take me, then I probably would be alive. I don’t know if what you did was for the greater good or not, but your actions did cause my death.”
Merzhin whimpered. “What…what can I do?”
“Do you want me to answer honestly?”
“Yes!” the Saint cried. “What can I do to make amends?”
“I will not ask you to renounce Uldar, as I did. But I want you to look at him and everything he’s done through your own two eyes. Not through the eyes of ‘The Saint of Uldar’ but through the eyes of ‘Merzhin’. Judge what he has done properly and determine whether or not he is worthy of your service…but no matter what you decide, I want you to focus on ending the cycles. Destroy the Ravener once and for all. Do not let my death be in vain.”
After a moment of silence, Merzhin nodded weakly. “I…I will try. With all my power, I will try.”
“Good. Thank you, my friend.”
The spirit of Carey London began to glow brighter even as her form grew more indistinct. She floated higher into the air, rising toward the ceiling of Uldar’s throne room. “Don’t weep for me, my friends; I wished to give everything to Thameland, and that is what I did. When my family asks after me, tell them that I gave everything for our home, and it was my choice. I would do it again.”
Radiance fanned outward as her form grew hazier. “Please tell Professor Jules and Baelin not to be too harsh on themselves. I came to Generasi to learn to be a wizard, so that I could free Thameland from the Ravenver. I knew wizardry was dangerous, and I burnt out my life trying to achieve my dream. Again, it was my choice: do not let them despair or fight among themselves. There is too much to do for that.”
“Wait!” Merzhin cried. “Will I see you in the after-world?”
By now, Carey’s form was an outline of light in the young woman’s shape.
But, her smile was still dazzling. “Sooner than that, I think.”
“What?” Alex asked. “What do you mean?”
“I feel the Traveller’s will,” Carey’s voice echoed through the throne room. “And I feel her power. She has a plan for me and she’s channelling her strength into me to accomplish it. I feel myself…changing…even now. Transforming.”
“Into what?” Merzhin asked.
“Into something wonderful, I do think.” Her light was dimming. Her voice, fading. “Carey London, the mortal is dead. Nothing can change that. But something will be born in her place. And I will help you all, again.”
Her voice was a whisper.
“Be…w…ell…”
Her light vanished.
The last echoes of her voice faded to nothingness.
And, at last, she was gone.
Never again, would Carey London, child of Uldar and Thameland walk the world.
Alex wiped his eyes. “Come on, then,” he said, his voice shaking. “She told us to look through Uldar’s things and find out what he was up to. Let’s get started. We’ll stay here and do what we can until morning. After that…”
He sighed. “...we’ll have to go back to Greymoor. Professor Jules needs to know.”
“Aye,” Cedric said, shaking his head. “An’ we gots t’bury our dead.”
“I wish we had something of Carey to bury,” Merzhin murmured.
“We all do,” Hart rumbled. “But, c’mon, we’d better get going. We’ve got final wishes to honour.”
He went to Tyris and placed his hand on the battlemage’s shoulder. She looked up at the giant of a man, laying her cheek on his hand as he gently caressed her face and nodded. Together, they began leading the way to the side doors of Uldar’s throne room to explore his sanctum.
One by one, in pairs and threes, what remained of the strike force followed the Champion and battlemage. Merzhin shuffled after them like a man still in anguish, his eyes moving between Uldar’s corpse, and the spot where Carey had last been.
As the others followed, Alex took a deep breath, swallowing the lump in his throat.
Carey was gone, and her death was likely the biggest reason they were still alive.
“I…evolved…thanks to Carey…” Claygon rumbled. “I didn’t…know what to say to her…when she was still here…I’ll let…what I do…speak for me.”
His metallic footsteps followed their companions.
Alex was left alone in the throne room with Vesuvius, who was too big to fit through the side doorway. They’d come back for him.
The young, Thameish wizard sighed, looking at Uldar.
“We’ll fix this, Carey. We’ll fix it.”
Silently, he pulled out the Traveller’s artefact, flipping through its captured images until he reached the one he was looking for: the image of a group of smiling people with the sea behind them as their backdrop.
It was taken at a celebratory dinner, right after the Games of Roal had ended.
Alex smiled bitterly; that dinner party was just a short while ago…although it felt like he’d aged a lifetime since then.
‘And there’s Carey,’ he thought, ‘this is the last image of—’
He paused squinting at it.
What was it?
Something about the image looked strange.
Alex squinted, zooming in on her.
Something was different. What was…
…then it came to him.
When Carey was with them, as they all clustered together, her neck had been bare.
But, now?
Carey London—smiling radiantly—was now wearing a delicate silver chain around her neck: the symbol of the Traveller hung from it.
Alex took a deep breath to steady himself, looking up at the corpse of Uldar. “We’ll end this, Carey. I promise you, we’ll end it.”
###
Author's Note
It's funny. When I write stories, I don't tend to write them with themes in mind.
This is for a couple of reasons.
First of all, I grew up on pulp and genre fantasy fiction. I read for fun. I write for fun. And I want my readers to enjoy themselves. Entertainment is how I interact with fiction, largely.
Especially fantasy.
That said, I keep myself open to themes that develop during the story. And for Mark of the Fool, I would say a theme that definitely developed is one of faith. How valuable is it? What should it be given to? How can it be used, right or wrong?
And I think few character evoked that theme more than Carey London. When she first started out, she resembled certain individuals I encountered in university. She was well-meaning, but tended to push people the wrong way.
Over the course of the story she embraced her faith, lost it, regained it, examined it...and now here she is.
I'm quite proud of her. :)
Let's see if we meet here again.
Cya Tuesday!
Comments
Serpentssnare
What a satisfying character arc. Thanks for making Carey into something more than an shallow, annoying zealot. Merzhin too.
Stephen
I honestly can’t wait to see Claygon in a fight now. Alex did say he felt like he had chaos essence and dungeon core essence coming from him. If that’s true with the chaos essence his fire gems might be evolved enough to cast hell fire now.
