jmclarke
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Chapter 802: Closure
🕑 Added 2024-03-12 23:04:24 +0000 UTC“Professor!” Alex called, waving his hand clutching the papers. “Do you have a moment or do you have a class or office hours right now?”
The force magic professor paused, looking at Alex sternly. An air of reluctance passed over his face before he exhaled then squared his shoulders. “I have twenty minutes before I have to be in my next class. What do you need from me, Mr. Roth?”
“I just wanted to…talk for a second,” Alex said.
Ram’s natural arm gripped the strap of his bag. “You are no student of mine, what do you need from me?”
“Just to talk.” The General of Thameland said, adjusting his body language to appear as non threatening as possible.
“Being enigmatic is overrated. Say what you mean,” Ram said. “But if you need to speak to me, then come along, my office is nearby.”
Ram marched forward with military—or even mathematical—precision, leading Alex down the hall to an office with an iron door. The force professor dug a key from his bag and unlocked the door.
Alex’s eyebrows rose. “You don't use your identification card?”
“I am a bit old-fashioned.” Ram opened the door, gesturing for Alex to follow him. “I enjoy the physical feedback of actually turning a key. The sensations in this force arm are not as sensitive as they are in my natural one: every sensation on my fingers is precious.”
“Oh…uh, sorry about that, sir.” Alex said.
“Nothing to apologise for, now walk with me.”
Together the two men entered Ram’s office.
Like the force professor himself, the office was neat and severe. The decoration was sparse, the atmosphere almost brutal. No paintings lined the walls, no statuary adorned any shelf. The bookcase, desk, and chairs were all straight lines and hard, sharp corners.
The window behind his desk was of clear glass free of adornments, most surfaces in the room were either black, white, or black trimmed with white.
A series of weapons—both ranged and melee—hung from the wall across from his bookcase. Several model engines and other machines—windmills, watermills and cranks—sat on a shelf beneath the weapons. An obsidian board— covered in physics formulae neatly written in chalk—stood near the desk.
“I would offer you a beverage,” Ram said. “But I do not permit liquids in my office. The potential for spillage is much too high.”
“Understandable,” Alex said.
Ram gestured to one of the seats in front of his desk.
The General of Thameland sat, and Ram joined him.
There was silence for a time before the force professor broke it. “Well, you said you wished to talk to me, but you’re not talking.”
“I guess I wasn't,” Alex said. “Listen…professor, I just wanted to say that I can't tell you that I'm sorry…wait, do you know about me having this Mark called the Mark of the Fool?”
The force professor pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don't think you could live in this city and not know. Word of you has spread far and wide.”
“Good,” Alex said. “That makes this easier. I can't really apologise, for not telling you that I had the Mark. But I will say that I regret not being able to tell you. The reason I'm not saying I'm sorry, is because if I had to go through that situation again…I still wouldn't tell you.”
Ram nodded.
“The thing is,” Alex said. “Back then, I didn't know who to trust. But…the problem with that is that you really tried to help me in class. You really did work as hard as you could to try to make sure that I got the best grade I could, and master as much force magic as I could in your class. But I wasn't able to.”
“Right,” Ram said.
“I regret that you ended up wasting your efforts,” Alex said. “I can't know what you thought or felt at the time, but if it was me, I would've been damn frustrated. It would've looked like a student just didn't care what I had to say, even though I was trying so hard to reach him. And if that was your experience, I regret it.”
“The effort was not wasted,” Ram said suddenly.
“Wait, what now?” Alex asked.
“You’ve made an assumption. You didn’t look at all the variables and reactions involved,” Ram said. “Did you learn anything from my class?”
“Uh, yeah I did. I learned a lot from your class,” Alex said.
“And what did you learn?” Ram asked him. “Be specific. Is there anything that you learned in my class that you apply to your life even now?”
“Well, I still use Wizard’s Hands, Greater Force Armour, Forceshield, and Protective Force Weapon,” Alex said. “But, especially Wizard’s Hands. I use that spell every day, for combat, for business, for cooking…”
“It is a very useful and often underrated spell,” Ram said. “The spells you learned kept you alive thus far, and still improve your daily life to this day?”
“Yeah, that’s absolutely true,” Alex said, thinking about his defensive spells.
They had saved him many times when he had the Mark of the Fool. These days, he didn’t need them as much.
Most spells he’d learned in Ram’s force magic class weren’t able to protect him any longer, not from powerful enemies, like the Stalker. Not sufficiently, anyway.
But, back in those early days, they’d served him well, things would have turned out much worse without them.
“I honestly don't think I'd be here without them, professor,” Alex admitted.
“Then my efforts did not go to waste,” Ram said. “Do you remember a strong conversation that I had with you after one of your classes one day?”
Alex's eyes widened. “You mean when you told me to try harder? Yeah…I’m surprised you remember that.”
“I never forget important conversations I have with my students,” Ram said. “Especially with students who are struggling. During that conversation, I used rather harsh language. The purpose of that was to keep you alive. And now here you are, alive. The spells and my efforts were not wasted.”
“Still!” Alex countered. “You didn't know that I had the Mark of the Fool then. You didn't know that there were certain spells that I wasn’t able to cast back then. And you spent a lot of time, and energy trying to get me to cast them.”
“There are rumours going around that you can cast ninth-tier spells now.” Ram’s expression was impassive. “Are they true?”
“Yes…” Alex said after a moment.
“Does that mean you overcame some of the barriers that you were struggling with?” the force magic professor asked.
“Yeah, I did,” Alex said.
“And can you cast force missile now?”
“Yeah, actually, I can.”
“Then, once again, my efforts were not wasted. You learned that spell in my class, and—now that you have overcome some of your difficulties—you are able to cast it.” Ram looked at Alex intently. “The knowledge that I imprinted on you, did not simply turn to smoke and blow away. You kept it, you carried it forward. And now you're able to take advantage of it.”
“I—”
“Do you know anything about parenthood, Alex?”
The young archwizard froze, then his mind turned to Claygon. “Yeah, yeah I do.”
“An aspect of parenthood is learning that what you teach your children never expires. Parents share wisdom with their growing progeny, often when the child is not ready to hear that wisdom. But as that child ages, they can always turn to their parent’s teachings, no matter how old they are, or how much they may have strayed in their lives. As long as the parent was a good teacher.”
Alex thought about how he and Selina used to talk to, and read to Claygon before the golem could speak. He was now mighty, loyal, brilliant, honourable, and had his own thoughts, feelings and wisdoms.
“You're right,” Alex said. “Even if that knowledge isn't helpful at the time—or doesn't seem to be—it can be helpful later.”
“Precisely,” Ram said. “My knowledge couldn't help you at that time in your life. But, now it can. It means my efforts were not wasted. Do not waste your regret on me, Mr. Roth. I do not regret any effort that I spare for any of my students. If I did, then I should not be here.”
The young archwizard paused. Maybe he didn’t need closure after all. “Maybe…now I feel a bit sil—”
“I am sorry that you had to deal with your burdens,” Ram said. “With that Mark you carried. I learned more about it recently, and it seems that you were walking a very difficult path at that time. It sounds like you would have had a much easier life if you had chosen to abandon your dreams of wizardry, and became a merchant, or the leader of some town somewhere. Instead, you chose to force the issue. I can admire that, and acknowledge that you had a difficult burden to carry on your own. I am sorry that you needed to carry it.”
“Thanks—”
“I am not sorry for the skills you developed because of it—because life's harshness forces us to be the strongest versions of ourselves—and I am not sorry for my harsh words to you. It is my way, and if I apologise for being the way I am, I would be apologising with every waking moment of my life.”
“Right…” Alex said. “I have to disagree with you on some of that. I think sometimes life's burdens don't make it easier, sometimes they just break us.”
“That is true,” Ram said. “But life, with no harshness, would make us all soft.”
“I…don’t know anything about that,” Alex admitted. “I don't think I've lived long enough to say whether you’re right or wrong.”
Ram’s eyebrows rose. “You have a great gift, Mr. Roth: the ability to admit whether or not you don't know what you don't know. You don't suffer from the overconfidence of youth or the uncompromising surety of old age. That is a good trait, make sure not to lose it as you go through life.” He looked at the time. “Was there anything else?”
Alex paused, then decided to ask him a question. “Actually, yes. What made you decide that you wanted to be a force magic user?”
“It is in my nature,” Ram said. “Where and when I grew up, force was the deciding factor in life. I used force to combat my enemies, and to avenge my loved ones. Force is an underlying, fundamental truth in creation. Force accomplishes: it has been both my most reliable tool, and makes me who I am.”
“You seem very sure of yourself,” Alex said.
“I suffered the overconfidence of youth and now I have the uncompromising surety of old age. It is a gift, and a curse,” he admitted, his expression softening slightly. “When I walk, I take the straightest path forward. Yours seems more winding. That is not the way I do things, but I've taught enough students to know that the straightest path is not the correct path for everyone. Do with that what you will.”
Alex lowered his head. “Thank you, Professor. Oh, there's something I would like to show you.”
With a twitch of his brow, Alex conjured a set of Wizard’s Hands.
Ram’s breath stopped for a moment. “Nonverbal casting?”
“I learned it recently,” Alex smiled at him.
“It is a very difficult art,” Ram said. “And I can only do it with force magic because I am so close to it. Well done. Congratulations to you.”
“You inspired me,” Alex said. “I only tried it, because I remembered what you used to do in class.”
“Then—once again—my efforts did not go to waste,” Ram said.
“You know…” Alex paused. “Maybe, I could help you out. I think you really tried hard for me, and maybe I could help you in return. I know you're working on fixing the spell that creates Prime: maybe I could help you with that?”
“That would put you out of business,” Ram said, almost smiling.
Alex smiled, shaking his head. “I think there's room for both your force construct, and my golems to co-exist while fulfilling different purposes.”
“Perhaps you're right. However, I do not need help. Or at least…it doesn't appear that I do, so, I will continue working on eliminating the flaws in the spell on my own.”
“Right,” Alex said, almost disappointed.
“However,” Ram continued. “I would appreciate a rematch between us and you and Claygon when I do finish the next iteration. That will be the perfect test for how much I've developed Prime.”
Alex smiled at that. “You’re on.”
Ram did not smile back, but there was a softening of his face. “Perfect. Well, I must be on my way to my next class then, and I am sure you have things to do.”
“Yeah, I have to go to the lab,” Alex took a deep breath and said. “Thank you professor. I want you to know that I appreciate what your class taught me because it forced me to learn how to adapt the methods you were teaching us to let me protect myself as much as I could. And because of that, I can now say that I’m glad I took your class.”
“You were an adequate student who has grown into a masterful wizard,” Ram said, rising from his chair. “Walk your path forward. It is all we can ever do.”
###
Author's Note
Hello forty-four cool fools, almighty chosen, wise sages, and mighty champions! Thank you for your support!
Closure's an odd thing. Sometimes you get, and sometimes you don't. Some professors I got closure with, some I did not. It's a melancholic thing, just like Alex and Ram's relationship.
Sometimes we don't realise that people mean well until long after our relationship finishes with them.
Sometimes that well meaning doesn't matter. Life is funny.
Cya tomorrow!
Comments
Jeremy
He’s becoming my favorite professor : “Right…” Alex said. “I have to disagree with you on some of that. I think sometimes life's burdens don't make it easier, sometimes they just break us.” “That is true,” Ram said. “But life, with no harshness, would make us all soft.” This hits home to me so much harder than I ever thought.
Meredith
This is so underhearted haha
BelligerentGnu
In which we learn that Ram really was just a pompous ass.
Joshua Little
Thanks for the chapter.
Logan
I still think the Force-Construct spell would be better used as a personal Mecha /
TwoMoreYears
I liked this chapter, it was a quieter chapter but a good one.
Kanyau
Ram: "I said what I said."
Julien Fellegara
Thanks, bittersweet chapter.
Pekularity
Sounds better than my 8th grade science teacher. Unfair, unreasonable, unlikable, and couldn't even teach. The only closure I needed was that they were fired two years later.
Patrick Brennan
Guess Professor Ram doesn't Dodge any questions
Vorquel
A very satisfying chapter
wallytjr256
I know this is the last book. But it feels like all the open little stories and coming to closure. I guess nothing can go on forever. Except maybe Baelin. Maybe before this is all over we will know more about him.
mhaj58
Unexpected but still a very entertaining conversation. My 3rd grade teacher was a lot like Ram. A complete hardass who was unfair and unreasonable but did all that he did to make his students better l
Trevor Mergen
Thanks!
