jmclarke
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Chapter 814: The Mentor and the Student
🕑 Added 2024-03-28 20:07:00 +0000 UTC“Does everything have to be a puzzle, Baelin?” Alex sighed. He remembered Professor Jules’ words about old beings turning everything into a riddle. At this moment, he found himself agreeing with her complaints.
Strongly.
“To make a point, it often does, though for my own amusement can also be a side benefit, but more to the point…” the chancellor smiled. “Let us say I outright give you the answer, just tell you how I chose what to do with my life. Since I am well aware that you respect me a great deal, Alex, I would be concerned with the possibility that you would take my information to heart without examining it too thoroughly for yourself. You are very thorough in many ways, but when it comes to choosing what you wish to do with your future, you might—out of fear for what comes next—simply grasp onto the first piece of advice that you find fits you.”
“You mean like a drowning man finding and desperately clinging onto a piece of driftwood,” the General of Thameland offered. “You're worried I'll just take an answer from you and use it for my own life because I’m scared?”
“Indeed,” Baelin said. “Better, that you lead yourself to a conclusion about my life, and your own, rather than me simply providing you with an easy answer. In that way, you can choose to accept what I say, or reject it. If you accept it, it will be because you have thought it over for yourself and will then know how or even if, to apply it for your own life. To make it your own. Furthermore, it has been over a year since we have had one of these discussions. And I am having fun, so permit an old man his amusement.”
Alex smiled, and rolled his eyes. “This is like when you made me figure out a way to power Claygon’s golem core. I remember you didn't want to just give me an answer because you felt that would have been too easy. You wanted me to think my way to my own solution.”
Baelin smiled warmly. “And you harvested a mana vampire to empower your golem. Ah, simpler times. Now you have the might to facilitate the mana production of a dozen golem cores with ease.”
“That’s true…” Alex winced, remembering the mana vampire encounter. “They were simpler times weren't they? But, then again, they weren't really all that simple. I had to come up with all kinds of different workarounds and strategies just to live my life back then. Now the challenges ahead of me are a lot bigger than any mana vampire—but, at least I don’t have to come up with a bunch of fixes just to get things done.”
“Things have truly changed for you, haven't they?” Baelin said.
“They have…” Alex said. “And I accomplished almost everything I wanted to since I left Alric…the one goal I have left is to get rid of the Ravener. I keep asking myself what I should do after that.” He nodded to Baelin. “I’d like to be like you, Baelin, old, very powerful and very content.”
“Indeed,” the chancellor said. “Keep going.”
“Well, I don’t know how to get there, what getting there even looks like for me.” Alex said. “You asked me what makes an old person content? But, each time I suggested something, you countered it with facts: some people would be content with a life of accomplishments, family, conquering and victory, knowledge, inner understanding and so on…but others wouldn't find contentment in those things. I’m wondering if the right answer is that an older person feels content when they've lived a life well; but there are different definitions of what a ‘life lived well’ looks like.” He pressed his fingers to his temples, shaking his head.
“Keep going.” Baelin encouraged him.
Alex got up and began pacing. “Everyone I’ve talked to has had a different way of choosing a path for their life. And what one person found satisfying, another found terrible. Isolde is happy taking the same path she and her grandfather had talked about a long time ago; Khalik would find that path pretty dull. Professor Jules wants to spend her life in the lab, making alchemical discoveries, and keeping people safe; while you would probably find that really boring.”
“Ah, I believe you’re trying to trick an answer out of me aren’t you?” Baelin said smoothly. “I will not say either way for myself, but I can say that there are plenty of adventurers who would find that path to be incredibly dreary. Unfulfilling.”
Alex thought about Professor Jules’ friend who’d been an adventurer until a trap brought her life to an end; Professor Ram sounded like he’d done a lot of adventuring early in life, but now seemed quite content teaching at the university, and keeping to a quieter path.
“Yeah, you're right, and damn you for not giving me a straight answer when I mentioned Professor Jules,” Alex glowered at Baelin, who laughed. “The point is that different lifepaths suit different people. And…different people gain contentment from different lifepaths.”
Alex thought about how Uldar’s Marks chose people best suited to their role…though some didn’t embrace the role. Cedric seemed to love being the Chosen, but Drestra would’ve been happier not being the Sage of Thameland.
The Mark of the Fool had chosen him, though he would have been better suited to the General, but—still—he didn't only want to be the General of Thameland. He wanted to be much more.
But what, exactly?
What path would let him be as content as Baelin in ten, a hundred, or a thousand years? Everyone he’d spoken to seemed so sure.
But how could they be?
How did they know that the lifepath they were content with now, wouldn’t be unsatisfying later. Merzhin had lived his entire life dedicated to his faith in Uldar, and when he’d learned the truth about him, he’d come close to breaking. In his whole life he’d never doubted that following Uldar’s teachings was what he wanted, his belief had been that deep. He’d thought he was content…but everything he’d thought, he’d believed had turned out to be wrong. Then, everything changed.
In many ways, Merzhin was still lost and likely quite broken. Where would he turn now?
The First Apostle had been completely broken, but in ways that were different from Merzhin. The holy man had blindly walked a path of lies for centuries, but when he’d been faced with the undeniable truth, though his mind had broken in his final moments, he’d been even more dedicated and committed to his path than ever.
Tobias Jay, like Gabrian, was also old and dedicated to Uldar—but when he’d learned about and seen Uldar’s treachery, he did not hesitate to denounce and turn away from him, and was soon open to embracing a different deity. Of the three holy men, if anyone should've been broken forever, it should've been the high priest of Thameland; the First Apostle was old, but life enforcement would have kept him youthful for centuries. Maybe longer.
He would've had time to find a different path for his life.
Tobias Jay was nearing the final days of his natural life. His body was old, and—sooner rather than later—would give out. There weren’t enough years left ahead of him to live a full lifetime dedicated to a new path.
‘Maybe that's one of the reasons why he changed his position so quickly,’ Alex thought. ‘His options were few, since he didn't have decades to spend nursing his pain and tossing around looking for a new life path. He was also pragmatic, which was easy to see when he talked about what he’d done to reach his position as head of the church. And there was also the threat of the Ravener looming over Thameland to consider. And being pragmatic, he adjusted quickly. Maybe, he would've reacted differently, like Merzhin or Gabrian, if he’d had another lifetime to live…to choose…a different…path…’
An answer struck Alex like a thunderbolt.
The answer he’d been searching for.
“You’ve thought of it haven’t you? Baelin smiled.
“Maybe…” Alex looked at the ancient archwizard: his teacher and mentor, a warrior, a mage, a leader…he was all of those things and more. “You said you never made an explicit choice.”
“In a manner of speaking, yes,” the chancellor encouraged him.
“You said that when you first awoke to magic, you couldn’t imagine that this would eventually be your life,” Alex said.
“You are correct.” A twinkle had entered the ancient goatman’s eyes.
“Then I have a question for you.”
“And what would that be, my young friend?”
“Are you going to be the university’s chancellor forever, for the rest of your life?” Alex asked.
Baelin beamed in anticipation. “I will not.”
“Then that's the answer!” Alex slapped his forehead. “You never chose a single life path…because you have infinite—or near-infinite—lifetimes ahead and behind you! You could choose to be whatever you wanted, decade by decade, century by century! You could live hundreds of different lives, make different choices whenever you wanted to!
The chancellor began clapping. “Yes! Very good! And what does that tell you about yourself?”
Alex reflected on his own wants and needs, his past and his future. “There's a lot of different things I want. I want to be an alchemist, I want to run my businesses and gain wealth, I want to see the world, I want to adventure, I want to raise a family, I want to learn more powerful spells, research magic…I want to do all of it. And I understand that I don't have to choose just one! In a century, I could take a different path if I wanted to! I could return to a previous choice anytime I wanted. I’m capable of lots of different things, so why would I choose just one, especially over a long lifetime?”
Baelin looked proudly at Alex, then at his trophies. “You have reached an understanding, I believe. Since you turned eighteen, your life has been one where your decisions and actions were hampered by the Fool’s Mark. While other young wizards were free to think about and plan for futures that were without forced restrictions, you obviously didn’t have such freedom. In many ways, you were bound by what the Mark prevented you from doing. Since you were so limited, that is perhaps one reason why you gave no conscious thought to making a long term plan for your life, Alex. If the Fool had never constrained you, you would have lived your life freely, not ever considering not being allowed to do certain things, but many of your decisions were made with the restrictions you were under in the back of your mind. Your choices came mostly with limitations, and this is the first time since coming to Generasi that you’ve been unencumbered, and now, like your friends, you're free to decide your future without restrictions controlling your actions. Things you couldn’t think about before, you can now. You’ll have to get used to that. Congratulations! I’ve been many things in my very, very long life: a hunter, a magician, an apprentice, a warrior, an advisor, a mercenary, a ruler, a sage, and now…a chancellor. I have lived entire lifetimes in one of those roles and then taken on another as easily as one would switch one's cloak. I did not choose my life path, Alex, because—by the time I had such high thoughts about my own future—I had successfully found a way to extend my life. I knew I would not have to choose. And neither do you, in my opinion. Does this answer satisfy you?”
“Yes, it does…” Alex beamed. “The difference is that I want to do certain things that you wouldn’t. I want to spread the word about Hannah, for example, and help her grow in power.”
Baelin’s smile faded a bit. “Oh my, that is truly a much different choice than I would make.”
“You and I look at deities differently,” Alex said. “You see them as leeches, as you once said. You said they weren’t necessary, and just took power from mortals.”
“And I was quite right when it came to Uldar, was I not?” Baelin raised an eyebrow.
“You were,” Alex said. “But I don't think you're right about every deity. I don't think you're right about Hannah; she's using her power to help people, to protect them. That's not different from how I use my power to protect people, and how you use yours to protect your students.”
“Ah, but the power is mine,” Baelin said. “And your power is yours. Your might is not derived from syphoning faith from others, it is gained through your own spells, your sharp mind, and your other strengths. The same applies to me.”
“Yes, but if there's one thing I've learned from having the Mark of the Fool stamped on me, it's that power also comes from others,” Alex said. “My knowledge and strength came from you, my other teachers, and my cabal. A lot of my victories were because my friends were there. And I don't mean in some esoteric, ‘I gained the power of friendship’ kinda way, I mean they were physically there to help me make the discoveries that made me more powerful. They were there to finish off enemies that were trying to kill me when I couldn't fight back properly. And even if you take them out of it—take you, and all the professors that helped give me the knowledge to make me who I am—what about mana? It comes from my mana pool, but my mana pool probably formed because of some mana vent elsewhere in the world. Same with yours, and that of every other wizard, as far as we know. And where does that mana come from? Nobody knows.”
Alex walked toward Baelin, spreading his hands. “Hannah and different deities might gain their strength from faith, but we gain our strength from the effort of those that came before us—” Alex thought about Kelda. “ —and then we become the strength for those who come after us.” He thought of Selina. “A Proper Wizard can handle a lot of things on their own, but you said that a Proper Wizard gets a good entourage. That’s gaining power from others, isn't it?”
“That is often reciprocal, and is different from the parasitic behaviour of deities,” Baelin said impassively. “And I must admit, I look at the power gained a little differently than you. It is true that many do gain strength and knowledge from those who came before, but I was without a doubt a bona fide pioneer. Much of what I learned about magic I had to gain through my own experimentation. There was very little knowledge of wizardry that came before me, because there were very few wizards that came before me on this world.”
“I can see your perspective,” Alex said. “But, I still think, you gained your mana from somewhere, right? It might not be quite the same as a deity using the power of faith, but if that deity then uses their divinity to protect their followers…isn't that reciprocal too?”
“I do believe that a difference lies in the fact that faith can be utilised without a deity,” Baelin countered. “And if that is the case—take Thameland for example—what use is a deity? Your kingdom and priesthood function quite well without one.”
“Good point…” Alex said. “But I still think they can be helpful. Maybe you’re biased?”
“Ugh, now you sound like my cabal-members.” Baelin rolled his goat-like eyes, then looked at Alex thoughtfully.
“What is it?” the young archwizard asked.
“I am proud of you, Alex,” the chancellor said. “More than I can ever convey. And I am truly fortunate to have been your teacher up to this point, although missing this past year, a time so important in your journey, has left me more sorry than you will ever know.”
###
Author's Note
Hello FORTY-FIVE cool fools, almighty chosen, wise sages, and mighty champions! Thank you for your support!
Nearly at the end of the month.
It's interesting. Often a big part of mentoring someone is letting them become their own academic, person or professional. They will have disagreements with you, and honestly-when they can fully articulate those disagreements and defend them...you know you've done your job, in many cases.
Deleted scene:
"Are ya winnin', son?" Baelin asked.
"Yes, I am, dad-I MEAN, BAELIN," Alex quickly scrambled.
Comments
Clark Price
Pretty good chapter, but the dialogue with Alex and Baelin can we weird. Sometimes it feels like Alex is repeating things to make sure the reader gets it and less about him working through things. The conversations are pretty straightforward and aren't that hard to grasp so it can be kind of irksome.
David Tawater
Should have left that deleted scene in. I am all for the bailen dad vibe. I wish my dad allowed me to discover a life journey like I just witnessed in this chapter. I'm reminiscing about my grandpa now.....this chapter pulled at my childhood more that I was prepared for.
Joshua Little
Thanks for the chapter.
Phoenix Of Eclipse
I would unironically love alex to slip up and accidentally call Baelin 'dad' in canon. I'd never stop laughing- and neither would Alex's cabal!
Blightdad
felt like baelin didn’t finish the statement he was making at the end there. TFTC
Code Reed
Finally he gets it. I guess it makes sense he has this realization while talking with Baelin.
Trevor Mergen
Thanks!
