For years, we have been accustomed to the notion that ‘the c..
🕑 Added 2021-06-02 15:19:39 +0000 UTC
For years, we have been accustomed to the notion that ‘the customer is always right’. While it may be true in some industries, the same does not go for the adult entertainment business - specifically, for the DIYers of the community like me.
I have only been in this industry for a little over a year, but I can tell you stories akin to a person who has spent years. I’m sure it is the same for everyone else, but I feel a great gratitude in talking about issues that I have because albeit - I do have somewhat of an agenda, be it bias or not.
I am not only in this for the money, throughout my life, I have thought many times about doing some type of sex related work, be it professional porn or stripping, etc. I have always been a sexual person naturally, I pay attention to detail, I’m educated on what I like, I am educated in art, I understand what other people like to an extent, and I think that sex is a performance art in it of itself. which I am very performative, even in my personal life.
Being in this industry,I consciously feel and know that at any point someone can take advantage of me. In knowing that, I try to resist. Every type of work is exploitative. More often than not, I see sellers being exploited by the buyer, and that is adding to the stereotype that sex work is not real work, it's adding to the [ever growing] stigmatization of this industry as a whole.
When I started my journey, I told myself I would not let others exploit me, I will not let you try to feed your pseudo-dominant tactics on me. I have policies, I have values. So many buyers come to me and complain that I don’t do m**tups, and then try to boast the money they have (or probably don’t have) thinking that their shiny dollar will make a difference.
When I talk about buyers, I am usually talking about men - because a woman who buys content would never do this. I’ve had plenty of female fans accept my professionalism and move on. The problem with men is that they don’t like to see a woman in power, be comfortable with her sexuality, they don’t like to be told ‘No.’
Another thing buyers love to do is ask demeaning and or ridiculous questions, just because of the simple fact that we are sex workers, so we are ''lower women'' to you. These men would not say this to a random woman on the street, they would not say this to someone they respect.
I
t sometimes isn’t always the buyers fault though. I will simply say that sex work is not for everyone, not because of their gender, race, body type, sexual orientation, etc. Its not for everyone because its REAL work, its not a hobby (at least to me, its not.) Another reason why I sadly think no one takes this industry seriously is because many sellers do not have their values in place. You have to be in a comfortable mindset, you have to think about things, you have to set up policies for yourself. This is a business and I wish people would understand on both spectrums. I refrain from saying ‘job’ because at a job you are usually controlled by other people.
This is art, this is business.
-April
