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I try to always keep my posts positive and sexy, but my ment..
🕑 Added 2023-06-15 13:03:48 +0000 UTC I try to always keep my posts positive and sexy, but my mental health is deteriorating and I figured it's time to say something about it. π This is stuff I've been putting off saying for a long time and as much as I'd like to continue putting it off, I cant. Nothing said here is personal about any individuals, but a message that needs to be said to everyone here. Sorry for having to live in reality for a bit, I promise the normally sexy/fun posts will be back tomorrow. I'll start with this: I am losing subscribers rapidly. I can't seem to draw in new ones or get the ones who are here to stick around. It has become maddening for me to try to do so. It has me feeling very ugly, forgotten, and incredibly unappreciated. I keep crying myself to sleep, wondering what I've been doing wrong. I try so hard every single day and it hurts to have all of my effort lead to nothing. So, since no one seems to want to be here anyway, I'm finally going to say some things I've needed to get off my chest: I am getting endless serious requests for FREE get togethers with people, most of whom I barely know... and it feels very insulting at this point. As much as I love fun and fantasy, this is my job and, as said in the free video you get in your DMs the moment you subscribe, I demand respect when it comes to talking to me or wanting to partake in any of the services that I provide. Please remember that I am a human; if you're looking for a Fleshlight, you are on the wrong page. Also, as much as I truly love chatting and getting to know fans on here, I do not give out my personal information, phone number, street address, personal social media accounts or email addresses, so PLEASE STOP ASKING! If we arrange something specific, you will be given more information only after payment is received for whichever service(s) you're looking to partake in. On top of all of the depression and negativity this has added to the usual bad thoughts rattling around my mentally ill brain, the stress of my declining income is draining all of my mental and physical energy. I am always going to be my true, genuine self on here so I'll be real with you all: I have thought about ending my life on a daily basis for weeks now. I am incredibly unhappy and I need to start figuring out how to shift my current mindset if I want to make it to the end of 2023. I've forgotten how to have fun, how to feel joy. I have no motivation. I am at a dangerous level of being stagnant and anhedonic. I will continue my daily uploads and replying to DMs while trying to figure out what to do with my life now. If you continue supporting me, please know it means so, so much to me. If you decide to leave, I'm sorry I couldn't be enough to make you stick around, but I can no longer spend 13+ hours a day trying to cater to the needs of everyone just to end up disappointed in the end. I'm unsure of what the future holds for me, but I am doing my best to have positive hopes for tomorrow, the next day, and the day after.... then, we'll see what happens from there. To those who have been loyal to me on here, you are appreciated more than I can say. You are the reasons I still get out of bed and find ways to function. Thank you so, so much. π Let's see what happens next. I'll begin to put the pieces of my broken shell together after neglecting my health for far too long. I need dental work, I need to lose some weight and get in better shape physically, and I need to focus all the energy I can muster into healing my incredibly depressed brain. Send some positive vibes my way if you have any to spare! Like I said, back to the normal ~sexy~ posting tomorrow. If you made it this far, thank you for reading the entire post. Have a wonderful day. Love, Ean the egg π₯π
