i've been thinking about making this post for awhile, and i ..
🕑 Added 2022-04-10 21:17:54 +0000 UTC
i've been thinking about making this post for awhile, and i figure now is just a good a time as any.
i wanted to sincerely apologize for my lack of content lately. the past few months have been very hard on me mentally. for those who don't know, i suffer from bipolar disorder, ptsd, anxiety, and bpd tendencies, all of this can make it very difficult for me to navigate through life. when i first started doing sex work back in 2019, i found it was very liberating and fun, i love showing off and making art, the fact that i could do this full time and get paid a living wage and then some for it was incredible.
lately i have been feeling very unmotivated and uninspired. i thought it was due to my seasonal depression, but it's spring now and i'm still feeling this way. it's been especially hard for me to stay positive because all my social media accounts keep getting taken down, which is heartbreaking to say the least, considering the amount of time and effort i've put into growing them.
i have really been beating myself up over the fact that i haven't been making content, i feel like i'm letting you guys down and it feels horrible. i've been desperately trying to find my motivation but it has been very difficult, and in turn, my self esteem has taken a huge hit. i haven't been feeling good about myself or my body, so i've decided to finally make a change to get more exercise, eat better, and take better care of my physical and mental health - mainly i just really need to stop being so hard on myself.
it's very hard for me to write this, as i am normally a very motivated and goal-driven person. i feel like a piece of me is missing, and i need to find it before i give up completely. i want to find my passion again, i want to create art that i am proud of and feel good about, i owe it not only to myself, but to you guys as well.
moving forward, i will be taking some time to focus on myself and get my physical and mental health in order - consider it a hiatus, i am not quitting sex work. i will still post content from time to time, and i have a photoshoot at the end of the month, but until then my posts will be very infrequent. i will be making my onlyfans 50% off to compensate for the lack of content i will be posting; this is still my job, and i still need to make money, seeing as i don't have a job outside of sex work. that being said, any tips i receive during this time would be so appreciated.
thank you so much to everyone who has supported me and those who are able to bare with me during these hard times. i love you all so much and i couldn't do this job without your love and support.
i am feeling very positive about things moving forward, i'm very determined to do better, and i will.
i love you all,
amber.
