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Today I want to talk about communication, cause by a weird s..
🕑 Added 2025-01-04 14:15:48 +0000 UTCToday I want to talk about communication, cause by a weird situation when I had to fight for me cumming during the sex. Whether it’s in sexual, romantic, or even platonic relationships. And so it led me here, wanting to share my thoughts with you, and being sure you could relate.
When someone opens up about something personal or troubling, the least we can do is listen. Yet, so often, that’s not what happens. Instead, we’re met with defensiveness. I’ve experienced it myself more times than I’d like to admit, and I’m sure you have too.
I’m writing this out of frustration. And even though I’ve already processed it and moved on, that doesn’t erase how unfair and upsetting it felt in the moment—or how often it feels in situations like this. The thing is, I make a real effort to communicate nonviolently. Honestly, Rosenberg would probably be cheering me on from the afterlife. I don’t say, “You’re terrible.” I say, *“I feel uncomfortable in this situation.”
But you know what hurts? When that effort is met with defensiveness, excuses, or self-protection instead of understanding. When you open up, showing your vulnerability, hoping for connection, and the response you get is justification.
Here’s the thing: when someone tells you they’re upset or uncomfortable, your first move shouldn’t be to take it personally. It’s not about you. Don’t jump in with, “Well, it’s because…” or “I didn’t mean it like that…” Just listen. Really listen. Don’t twist it to make it about yourself.
This isn’t too much to ask. If you have something to add, if there’s a point you want to make, that’s fine. There will be time for that. But first, validate what I’m saying. Validate me. That’s empathy.
Real communication starts with listening. You focus on what matters to the other person first. That’s how you create space for dialogue. And that’s how understanding grows.
